Emotional Rescue

Good grief! I am a wreck. Not sure what the straw was that broke the camel's back, but the floodgates have opened and there's no stopping it. And a long dose of "A Baby Story" on TLC is not helping the situation AT ALL. It always gets me when you hear that baby cry for the first time. Ugh. I'm going to be a disaster next week. Sheesh!

It appears that any little thing can set me off. In addition to the heat, exhaustion, uncomfortableness and total and utter irritability that I have been dealing with (not to mention my poor husband, who's had to endure this for almost 10 months - with the emotions hitting the apex only NOW!), this morning I scratched our new car. Yes, you read it right. The same car that we purchased LESS THAN A WEEK AGO. I was overconfidently backing out of our shared driveway and scratched the side of the car along our neighbour's house. Who does that? (I don't want to hear any comments from the peanut gallery about my driving...). Of course, then the tears came. So, I immediately jumped out of the car to check the damage. It didn't look fantastic, but it didn't seem overly terrible either. At least that's what I thought. I took it straight to the body shop down the street to get an estimate, and they basically blew my mind. $1200 worth of damage. There goes the waterworks again...You'd think I had ripped the entire side off the car! Anyway...so much for saving for a rainy day. Looks like I'll be taking donations.

In addition to the repair costs being ridiculous, they say they need to keep the car for 3-4 days in order to repair it. WHEN WILL IT END????? I don't know about you, but the timing couldn't be worse. If I wanted to get it fixed immediately, I would be stuck without a car...stuck at home...all stinkin' week. P.S. - In case you're not aware...I'm having a baby on Wednesday...I can't give up my car. But will I have time to have it in the shop for 3-4 days once the baby has arrived? I'm not convinced of that either. Anyway, not sure what the best course of action is to deal with this, but I feel like such a jerk. My fear now, though, is that I'll be too scared to back out of the driveway again...and be stuck at home, or worse yet, I'll be the lame wife that has to have her husband back her car out of the driveway anytime she wants to go anywhere. I'll have to start a mantra..."I'm not afraid to drive. I'm not afraid to drive"...What have I become?

Anyway, I'm hoping that this is the worst that I will encounter now that I've officially started my maternity leave. It was supposed to be a relaxing couple of days before the little bean arrives, not the exact opposite. So, beginning RIGHT NOW, here's to one week of thoroughly tranquil, tearless and sleep filled days and nights. CHEERS EVERYONE!

Ho Ho Ho...Merry New Baby's Birthday!

Hey! Guess what? It's 4:30 am and I'm up! Surprise, surprise! In the words of John Lennon, "I'm so tired, I haven't slept a wink. I'm so tired, my mind is on the blink". Thankfully there's no one to blame but myself (and the neighbour's cats remain intact...for now). I have a feeling this is going to be a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG day, though, and nap time seems extremely FAR AWAY at this point. Ugh!

This evening I checked off the last thing on my to-do list. Wrapping presents. Why am I wrapping gifts, you ask? Good question. In my constant hunt for things to do while I'm up at 4am, I read somewhere that a toddler sometimes feels a bit left out when a newborn is brought home and people arrive with gifts for the little one, and nothing in tow for the eldest. Obviously the eldest has had his share of gift giving over the past two and a half years, so why would anyone think to bring a prezzie for them when it's a time to welcome a new baby into the family? Well, as the guilt slowly sets in that my attention will be halved when this new beaner arrives in a week and a bit, I wanted to avoid as many hurt feelings as possible. I'm not sure if this will work, but it's one small step for man, right?

I made a trip to the local Dollarama (another fave of mine) to find some tiny gifts to give my toddler if the need arises. In my experience, I've found that Dollarama is one of the better "small gift" places out there. Especially when you have a little boy. They have a plethora of dinky cars, colouring books and puzzles, as well as loads and loads of anything Diego and Cars "The Movie".

So off I went to grab a handful of crap (essentially) and individually wrapped EACH ONE to hand out if the time comes. I got some Sesame Street cups (of the Elmo and Oscar variety), Lightning McQueen magnets, Diego stickers, dinky cars, farm machines, a recorder (which I'm sure I will instantly regret after 10 seconds of honking) and a bunch of other things. I figure even if I don't need them, they'll be good stocking stuffers at Christmas time.

My only issue, now, is feeling like I'm going a bit overboard with the whole thing...I realize that this is going to be a super difficult transition for my little guy. He's had the entire family's attention for a full 29 months and now, in one day, some little bugger is going to come along and steal ALL of the thunder. Not only that, but that little worm is going to come into his house, use all of his old stuff and be attached (at the boob) to his mother for the majority of a year. I can only imagine that a year in the life of a toddler is about 45 years to a normal human being.

And how do most parents deal with the guilt of feeling like they're potentially abandoning their child? They buy their kids gifts OBVIOUSLY (presents = LOVE, no?) What a terrible habit I'm starting. Ugh. In addition to the small gifts that I've bought, the "new baby" has also purchased our son a bribe gift (I can hear me saying it now, "What a nice present your brother/sister bought you. You love the new baby, don't you???? Right???? Please? PLEASE!!!!!!")

We have now invested in a new sand and water table to set up in the backyard (as a hopeful distraction while he gets used to having this new human being around). For some reason I have a feeling this whole rigmarole wasn't done when my Nonna was popping out 7 kids. I'm sure she was like "Here's another brother. Deal with it"...(In Sicilian, of course). Done and done. All of her kids survived but was there jealousy in the house? Did the siblings actually like each other and get along? Good question...and thankfully I wasn't around to see those relationships unfold, but I can't imagine that a shiny new sand table was the key to washing away any sibling rivalry... Either way, this seems like it's a potential sign of what's to come. Will I do anything to keep the peace in this family? Or is it more a matter of trying to buy some extra time until my son can really understand the concept of the sibling "bond"... A mother can dream, right?

Sibling Book Review

May I begin this by saying this post is probably not for you, unless you're expecting your second child. Don't feel bad about not reading it cuz you're not obliged to. I get it and I'm not offended. It wouldn't be my cup of tea either.

If you're still reading, this is what I have for you. After doing some research on how to broach the "new baby" subject with a toddler, most books tell you to wait until there's about a month before the due date and then start talking about how your child will be a big brother/sister. If you tell your child more than 30 days out, you'll get badgered endlessly on when this baby is coming. As I've noticed I do get a couple thousand questions a day with regards to the baby, so I'm quite happy I waited until I did. I probably would've lost my mind had I had to repeat the due date countdown any longer. I can't wait for his "why" stage to fully kick in...EEEEK!

I thought the best way to bring this new change to my child's attention was to continue our evening tradition and read a bedtime story each night, only this time the story would focus on introducing a new baby into the family. I ordered a billion books from Amazon and put another couple thousand on hold from my favourite place, the Toronto Public Library. I skimmed each book before I read them aloud to my little guy, just to be sure of their appropriateness, and now I'm sharing my review of a "couple" of them, in case you're curious, or you are looking for any recommendations. I promise to try and keep each one short, sweet and succinct.

WAITING FOR BABY by Harriet Ziefert

Of all the books I ordered and put on hold, this is my son's FAVOURITE. The pictures are colourful, fun and relatable and the story is fantastic (mostly relatable to me because the mom on the cover is MASSIVE and one page discusses how the son watches the mommy's tummy get BIGGER AND BIGGER AND BIGGER. Something my son knows a heck of a lot about!) It has a little bit of a "Hungry Caterpillar" feel (going through each day of the week), talks about what the child does while he's waiting for the baby to arrive as well as includes a couple of super short songs that, once your child is familiar with them, will sing along to.

BABIES DON'T EAT PIZZA by Dianne Danzig

Meh is my overall review on this guy. This book is designed for kids a little older than my son (as indicated by the subtitle - "A Big Kids' Book About Baby Brothers and Baby Sisters" . I'm not sure why I didn't clue into this before I bought it...I found that the story goes into a little too much detail for my child's attention span. I mean, it explains what a womb is and where it's located, that the baby comes out through an opening between mom's legs (ugh! does my two year old need to know that really?) and all the activities that babies like to do in detail, etc. I also found that there were too many words on the page (again, my son apparently has the attention span of a gnat - which he's obviously inherited from me). I think this book would be fantastic for a child who was in school. Again, my child is obviously not its intended audience.

WAITING FOR BABY - Illustrated by Rachel Fuller

This book is part of the "New Baby" series. I guess they didn't get the memo that another book had already been called "Waiting for Baby"...or maybe they misplaced their thesaurus and couldn't come up with a different title. Nonetheless, this book is actually pretty okay. It's a good, sturdy board book, so my kid can throw it around and turn the pages without me cringing every time he grabs at it. The lines are more questions to start conversations with your child rather than tell a proper story, which is a bit cool. It's fun to hear what your toddler thinks about what's going on in your tummy.

MY NEW BABY - Illustrated by Rachel Fuller

Also part of the "New Baby" series. This book is a great continuation on what happens once this baby pops outta mom's belly and moves into the house. Again, it opens up dialogue between parent and child and hopefully answers some questions or at least sheds some light on what might happen when the new baby arrives.

I'M A BIG BROTHER - Joanna Cole

This one happens to be my favourite of the bunch, but of course, my opinion is generally not asked in this household when it comes to choosing stories, so we rarely read this one. Again, this story focuses on what happens after the baby arrives at the house and all the things that a big brother can do with the new baby. I REALLY like that it mentions being gentle (as my son's version of gentle and the general population's are two very different things - ask my poor cat!). This book also comes in the "I'm a Big Sister" version for those who have girls.

HELLO, NEW BABY! - Illustrated by Hideko Takahasi

This was a $1 jobbie that I picked up at Target when I was in Buffalo last year. Total impulse buy. I guess you get what you pay for, right? It's more of a story about how a big brother plays with his younger brother. It isn't really a book to "prepare" a child for a new baby...just a tale about two bros. Whatevs. Next book!

WHAT A GOOD BIG BROTHER - by Diane Wright Landolf

The cover is freaking you out, right? Cuz it's freaking me out too. Not sure how I bought it, cuz I'm the sort of person that TOTALLY judges a book by it's cover. The dude's ears are unreal and it looks like he's about to bite off one of those toes. Once you open the book, the images are a bit...um...odd...like page after page of decoupage with a couple of soft focus illustrations thrown in the mix. The story itself is nice enough...about a big brother who helps his family when his new baby sister arrives...but again, I've read it once, cuz I just couldn't get past the pix.

~

Now don't get me wrong. My kid still has no clue what's in store for him in two weeks time...but at least he's getting the idea that other kids have baby brothers and sisters and the world doesn't end when they come home...whether it ends when our baby comes home is another story.

So, if you're expecting your second and you need some books to break your eldest in, let me know. I won't be needing any of these books after the next few weeks and would be happy to get them the hell outta my house. Maybe I should start my own crappy kids book swap? Million dollar idea? Perhaps!



Lastly, I just wanted to send a quick shout out to Tricia, Kyle and Emma. Congratulations on the birth of your baby boy! I can't wait to see pictures. Please fill me in on how life is going from one to two! Good luck!

Where There's A Will...There's A Will.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, there are officially a lucky 13 days left until B-Day. The more I get accomplished the more time I have to think about things. The more time I have to think about things, the more I dwell on things that probably aren't necessary to dwell on. Luckily I've been having some good night's sleeps over the past few days, so I haven't spent endless hours lingering on what could be. Lately my thoughts have been on the c-section and what would happen if things went awry. Again, the likelihood of this happening is slim to none, but being a responsible human being (and former Pathfinder - if you don't know what a Pathfinder is, you're not missing anything - think Girl Guides but OLDER - Yes, I'm a loser!), one most always be prepared.

My husband and I created wills before our son was born. I'm not sure how many of you out there have done this yourselves, but it definitely gets you thinking about some strange stuff. Of course, it's not a big deal when you're married, because all of the important decisions, like, who can pull the plug, who gets custody of the children, who gets all the money (a.k.a. debt), gets passed on to the living spouse. BUT when you're creating the will, you also have to think about what would happen IF something terrible were to happen and you and your partner died at the same time. That's when things get a bit precarious. You really have to put your mind to work and figure out who is best to make those important decisions in life when they really count (and when you're not around to watch their every move!)

This is especially hard when there are children involved. As a parent, you always want what's best for your kids. So how does one choose out of the plethora of people they know, who is best designed to care for your offspring??? Of course, grandparents are obvious first choices...but you can never guarantee how long they will be around, and if they'd even be ABLE to care for your children after a certain point. My father, though probably not the best example for a MULTITUDE of reasons, is already 62, so, if my husband and I were to croak in 10 years, I'm sure he wouldn't be the best candidate to watch over a 12 and 10 year old. Call me crazy (and if I left my kids to my dad, you would...TRUST ME).

Siblings are another choice, but they too can be a bit iffy. If I died tomorrow, I'm most likely NOT to leave my kids in the care of my sixteen year old sister...no offense! I've heard of how she handled her "fake" parenting class baby...and that's a clear indication that I don't even want her to babysit my children.

Of course, then there are friends...but then you wonder, do they even want that added responsibility? They may be single, or have a family of their own. Blech!

So, as my major surgery approaches, I find myself thinking about updating my will. I don't even have a copy in the house to refer to (perhaps an example of how responsible I REALLY am...), so last week, I called my lawyer to find out if I had specified my son in particular in my will, or rather, "children" in general. I'm still waiting to get the call back. I've left a number of messages at his office to no avail. You'd think that my lawyer would be chomping at the bit for me to add another line to the document. KA-CHING! I'm sure 5 minutes of his time would cost me $400. Easy money. I guess he's not that desperate.

I know it's technically not relevant, as it's only me going under the knife, and my husband SHOULD remain alive, barring he doesn't get tangled up in the operating utensils, but it's always soothing to know that all my ducks are in a row JUST IN CASE something were to happen.

Okay, who brought Debbie Downer to the party, right? Jeebs. I apologize. On to better things!

I have, thus far, avoided all things G20, which is totally rad. I had my second last OB appointment yesterday, and YES...I gained ANOTHER 2 pounds! I am officially obese. It has gotten completely out of hand. Thankfully there are only a couple weeks left to go or TLC could be calling me up to ask permission to film me on their next 1,000 lb woman episode. I'm looking forward to the coming week, where I will finish work and have a WHOLE DAY to do whatever I want. I'm thinking I might catch a movie, although, it's Canada Day, and I can't imagine that it's going to be very quiet...

And finally, my husband is on his way home with our new car. I'm so stoked to actually test drive this beast, and hope that we can squeeze it in between the two houses (as we share our driveway with our neighbours and the space is about as big as a sliver). Try not to be jealous when you see me cruising in it....If you play your cards right, I might leave it to you in my will...

Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman Scorched

Okay...so this is a stretch. My body certainly doesn't look like the above... (rather more like the below)

...but I feel like I'm on FIRE. Maybe it's just me...but it's bloody hot out there! In addition to genetics dealing me the overactive sweat gland card (as witnessed by anyone who has seen my father in the summertime - He looks like Kevin Garnett after 5 minutes of game play),

I'm sure it doesn't help that my body is in fluid retention mode and I'm almost 40 pounds heavier than I was a year ago, but I sweat when I even THINK about going outside. My husband, who is normally the A/C nazi, has given me a pass these past few days as I can barely breath. We have our ductless air conditioner on full blast, morning, noon and night and still, when I wake up for my 3am pee, I have to peel my PJs off because they're basically soaked through. I know, the visuals just get better and better don't they?

I'm trying my best to find alternate ways to keep cool. I've been attempting different BBQ recipes so that I can avoid having a boiling hot stove on in the house to cook dinner. Because I'm vegetarian, meat grilling was never very high on my list of cooking priorities, so I'm on a slight learning curve (and I apologize every night to my husband for fear that I'm serving him either heavily leathered and cured pieces of chicken, or straight-up salmonella on a plate). He's lived this long, so I guess it can't be that bad right? We, as a family, are also huge proponents of keeping each side of the house cool when the sun is beating down. So, in the morning, the front is pitch black, and in the afternoon, the back. It certainly makes for a rather dim life on the inside, but it definitely keeps us cool. My father has also provided us with a fantastic gift (though initially I thought it was totally lame)... He showed up one day with a canopied swing for the backyard. I originally felt bad that he went to the trouble of dragging it up to our house and putting it out back, so my husband and I decided to set it up just for kicks. We shoved it in the shady part (in hopes of hiding it and forgetting about it), but now I'm finding myself spending most of the afternoon whaled out on it while my son is playing.

Needless to say, these steps have only mildly prevented me from melting away into oblivion, so I'd better prep myself for the next few weeks. The forecast is looking pretty grim for a woman of my girth. Hot, hazy and humid, with a thunderstorm or two thrown in the mix. Should be a good time for all! Especially when one has a toddler that demands outdoor running around time! I'll have to do some research on local splash pads cuz I'm not sure I can take it.

I'm pleased to say, however, that in the midst of this blazin' heat, I've been able to knock off a few things from my to-do list this week, which has been a bit of a relief. A friend of mine has kindly lent me some 0-3 month unisex sleepers so that I can finish packing my hospital bag, newborn diapers have been purchased, I've done most of the laundry, email birth announcement list has been compiled (apologies in advance to those I've missed... it wasn't intentional, I just have pregnancy brain) and the biggest check of all, is ... WAIT FOR IT...that we bought A NEW CAR!!!!!!! (said in the Rod Roddy voice)

Though we don't have the car yet, the paperwork has been signed and we should be getting a call from the dealership any day now letting us know that it's ready for pick up! Woot woot! After that, we just have to install the car seats and we're ready to get this baby (car and fetus) rollin'.

I'm sending a cool breeze and cold shower shout out to all my pregnant lady friends out there! Trish, Nicole, Adrienne, Maria...I hope you're all coping a little better than me in this weather!

Who's Your Daddy?

This post is dedicated to the best Dad in the world...my husband!

It wasn't until I met HIM that I wanted kids. I've always been the classic only child. Everything was about me. I didn't think I'd be a particularly good mom either, but that hasn't changed much. When I realized I was in love with my dearest, I knew that he would be a fantastic father. Witnessing him with his family was proof enough. His mom and dad are both extremely warm, loving and kind people who have passed those traits on to both of their sons. Seeing this perfect family convinced me that it would be a sin not to procreate.

When I found out that I was pregnant with my little guy, I was a wee bit scared. I left the pee-stick in the bathroom so that the Huz would find it when he got ready for work. I'm not sure he really got it when he saw it, so after a little clarification, we celebrated (...and panicked a little...)

When our son was born, Super Dad kicked into action. Even without ANY experience with babies, he fell into it like he had been doing it forever. He was a natural (like I knew he'd be) and hasn't disappointed me yet!

He has been my saviour (during colic - walking endlessly up and down stairs when I needed a break), coming home early to save me from myself (after a full day of crying - both me and the baby), and giving me much needed breaks with swimming lessons and weekend playgroups, bike rides and park escapades (especially necessary during this pregancy). It's so satisfying to see the joy in my son's eyes every night when my husband gets home from work. He's invested so much time in our little one's short life that the "Daddy Love" is SO obvious!

With only two and a half weeks to go, I know that my little family will weather the new baby storm without too much issue. My husband will be by my side giving me endless support and help. During the first month I will have him to lean on 24 hours a day, 7 days a week because his company has graciously provided him with a month's paternity leave. It will be the perfect time for us to get to know the little one together as a new family of 4.

Though his babysitter skills are sometimes lacking...

... I'm so thankful to have the best "life-partner" in crime and couldn't have picked a more perfect dad for my kids. Happy Father's Day, Stinks! Love you lots! xoxoxoxo

House of Ill....Preparedness?

Earlier on I was bragging about how, because this is my second time around the baby bend, I wasn't getting my knickers in a knot about getting stuff ready for the little bean. Two and a half years ago when I was one month away from my due date this is what was already done:

* Baby room set up

* New car purchased

* Car seat installed

* Hospital bag packed and in car

* Baby's clothes purchased, laundered and in designated drawers

* Diapers bought

* Email list compiled and grouped (ready to send birth announcement)

Obviously I HAD a problem. I'm MILDLY anal retentive when it comes to lists and organization and generally speaking I like to think of myself as a pretty orderly and thorough person.

Well, it appears that along with many of my other skills (including being neat, clean and hygienic) my organizational skills have gone down the toilet. On the above checklist, this time with only 3 weeks to my scheduled c-section, I have accomplished...NIL.

I suppose in the grand scheme of things, it's not that big a deal. I still have 21 days to accomplish all of the above, right? Well, that's what I thought until I made my weekly visit to the OB this morning. The doc checked the usual: blood pressure, heart beat and fundal height and when she asked if I had any concerns I mentioned to her that I felt like I was balancing an inexplicably heavy bowling ball on the tip of my cervix and it was uncomfortable to walk (to say the least). I asked if she thought the baby was really low. She proceeded to explain to me that with consecutive pregnancies, the mom tends to feel like the baby is about to fall out at any moment. Then she checked the baby's placement in my uterus...and instantly retracted her statement. "Yes," she said, "It's no wonder you feel like the baby is going to fall out. That thing is REALLY low"...So that explains why I'm in so much pain and why I feel like this:

(not to mention the fact that I've gained an obnoxious 4 POUNDS this week - and didn't even have my Zia's cookies to blame this time!!!! Don't tell Gisele! She would be so disappointed!)

I digress...The last thing my OB said to me was "If you go into labour before I see you next week, tell them that you need a c-section". Wait a minute...did I just hear what I think I heard? Did she just say "IF YOU GO INTO LABOUR BEFORE NEXT WEEK" ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? Cuz, that's not an option. I have a stinkin' scheduled c-section. Did NO ONE give this fetus the memo??? Hello, baby. You are ORDERED to stay in the womb for the next 3 weeks. I'm SO NOT READY FOR YOU!!!

You can understand, now, that I feel a sense of urgency in getting the above matters together sooner than later. If this baby were to come any earlier than the expected 21 days it would be sleeping in a storage closet, on a naked plastic covered mattress in its birthday suit. I would also have no underwear or a toothbrush to take to the hospital and we couldn't bring the baby home because the car seat is still collecting dust in the basement and our "new" car hasn't even been found yet...YIKES!!!! Perhaps now is the time to get my panties in a bunch? Thankfully, a package of diapers was dropped off by some wonderful neighbours this afternoon, so at least I can cross those off the list. Sure they're a size 1...so they might be falling off the little one, but it's better than nothing, right? Either way, I'm not sure how ahead of the game that puts me but I think I'm still feeling like I'm falling a LITTLE bit short here.

My mission this week (yes, I realize that it's already Wednesday and the week is ALMOST over) is to:

* Find a car and buy it

* Dust off and install the car seat (as well as dust off/launder all baby accessories, including baby swing, Bjorn, playpen/bassinet, tummy time pad, nursing pillow, blah, blah, blah...)

* Disinfect, clean and wash all things in the nursery

* Wash baby clothes and put them in designated drawers

* Pack a hospital bag

* Compile new email list

Piece of cake, right? Sure! NO PRESSURE. I'm getting a tick just looking at this list, and I'm sure, rather than getting shorter, this tally is going to get longer and longer as the days go by. I know that if I tempt fate and procrastinate any longer, the baby will decide that it's birthday time. If I get all of the above accomplished the baby will wait until the last minute...It's a crap shoot really...Should I roll the dice?

The Entertainer

Weekly Recap:

YAYS

* Still haven't gone into labour

* Still no stretch marks

* Lips are puffing out like Angelina Jolie

* My son has successfully given up his morning bottle! (YES!!!!!!!!!!!!)

* Official last day of work is June 29th (with a work from home day during the week of the G20!)

* Planted the beans and peas in the garden. Vegetable planting officially complete!

* My son has slept through the night 2 weeks in a row! (I know I've jinxed myself...I should've just kept my mouth shut!)

BOOS

* Can't seem to sleep beyond 4am

* Can't seem to walk more than 2 minutes without keeling over in pain and being completely out of breath

* Unfortunately the resemblance to Angelina has gone out the window as face is also slowly puffing out (more like Jerry Lewis)

* Gained 2 pounds in one week (ARGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!! - Zia! You know it's your stinkin' delicious cookies!)

* I'm too scared to try to take away my child's evening bottle (BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!)

GOALS (this list seems to grow week by week)

* Gain only one pound at this week's OB visit (doubtful since I've already eaten 5 soft-mini chocolate chip cookies and it's 5:08am...I'm so disgusting.)

* Buy (and plant) remaining perennials to fill in my empty garden spots

* Keep the baby in my belly for another week

* Finish buying baby supplies

* Pack hospital bag

* Buy a new car

* Make it through another week of work unscathed

~

Yesterday I spent a little bit of my morning watching a baby. My son and I went to the park with a friend, and with only three weeks left until delivery, I've suddenly turned into a complete and utter invalid. Thankfully my friend pitied me, laid out a blanket and allowed me to watch her little guy while she ran around with the toddlers.

Being so far removed from babydom, I totally forgot how different entertaining a baby was versus entertaining a toddler. Toddlers, though WAAAAAAAAAAAY more active, seem to be, for the most part, a little easier to entertain. You can take them to the park and watch as they climb, push them on the swing and play in the sandbox. You can read them a book, or in a pinch, you can sit them in front of the TV to watch a show...A baby, on the other hand, definitely needs a different level of attention.

And I quickly went from this:

To this:

Don't get me wrong. This baby is so laid back, he just rolled with the punches, but after about 20 minutes of zerbert blowing, bouncing and singing, I felt like my bag of tricks was falling short. I mean, we played pick up the empty goldfish container and drop it. Open that container and close it, chew on the container and drop it. We also played a round of "Can you make this sound?" Ba ba ba, Ma ma ma. Geebs! (If this isn't an advertisement for why I should NOT babysit your child, I'm not sure what is!) Now, I do admit that I was a bit limited to the things we could do, as I had a controlled amount of supplies in which to work with and my movements are obviously ...um...restricted (?) but I'm sure the little dude was probably thinking to himself, "Lady, back off. You're trying WAY too hard. I just wanted to enjoy my park day, and watch the big kids and you're in my face!" I just felt like it was my responsibility to keep him "entertained".

Initially, I thought that having a new baby at home would be a piece of cake. You feed them, they sleep, you give them a bit of tummy time, you feed them, they sleep, so on and so forth. How quickly we forget!!!! I seem to have drawn a blank on the numerous times I shuffled off to the local library to take out book after book on "how to play with your baby". Even trying to think of activities right now, my tank is empty. And I seem to remember that there was a fine line between boredom and overstimulating...which can result in the same dismal reaction from baby.

I'm going to have to revisit my baby repertoire over the next few weeks and brush up on my ability to stimulate one who is less than 18 months old. EEEEK! (If you have any tips or games, please feel free to pass them along!) I'm hoping that it's like riding a bike, but I think my saving grace may be that I have a toddler at home as well, who can relieve me of some of the clowning pressure.

Ode To Mary Jane

Okay, honestly...you know me better than that! This post is not a tribute to the medicinal plant we most often call marijuana, but rather about a woman (ew...did I really call her a woman??? Yuck!) I know who is currently my hero.

I have been friends with MJ for about 6 1/2 years. We started out as co-workers and both moved on to bigger and better things. We did, however, have many things in common, including our love for our men and our wish to get married and have families of our own. We both got engaged around the same time, married in 2006 and pregnant for the first time in 2007. MJ went first and her beautiful little man was born a mere two weeks ahead of mine! Unfortunately, our dudes spent only a few special occasions together because both of our full schedules and the fact that we lived on opposite sides of the city from each other.

Then MJ threw everyone for a loop! She got pregnant again, this time ahead of schedule. Like WAAAAAAAAAAAY ahead of schedule. Now she has two little guys, a two and a half year old AND an 8 month old (who is just as handsome as his older brother and equally as easy going). And although the poor thing had to go it alone this time, I'm very fortunate to be able to learn from her experiences.

I just wanted to add this quick post to let everyone know that it is my friend MJ who has given me hope that life with a newborn and a toddler can be done, and perhaps even be quite enjoyable. Even though she lives on a few short hours of sleep everyday, she faces the world with a HUGE smile on her mug and the patience of Mother Theresa. You can see the joy in her eyes when she's with her kids and she tries her best to find a ray of sunshine in every dark cloud. She is definitely one of the best moms that I know, and I'm very thankful to have her to vent to. She never judges and though sometimes can't empathize with every situation I'm facing, she does a fantastic job at sympathizing.

MJ, thank you so much for giving me the confidence to know that I too will survive the next 2 years of my life, and though it may be hard, it will also be the best time of my life! I aspire to be half the mom that you are. Here's to you!

Props to Ops!

As you may have read in yesterday's post, I had my pre-op appointment today to discuss all the ins and outs of the scheduled cesarean.

It was surprisingly insightful. I just assumed it would be the usual doctor jargon, but because I was unconscious the last time this procedure was performed on me, all the information was new and intoxicating! The befores, durings and afters were all discussed in-depth, and unfortunately for me, so were the complications (for which you KNOW I will dwell on one day in the near future!)

So, here's what 7/7/2010 looks like for me:

11:59 of July 6th - Make sure I have fed myself silly. This is essentially the last supper for a LONG time! (beginning at midnight I am no longer allowed to eat anything, not even Tums - not that I have heartburn, but I'm just saying...when you can't even have an antacid, that's serious stuff!)

Midnight 7/7/2010 - 7:00am - Toss and turn and pretend to sleep, but the nervousness of upcoming surgery is taking it's toll, as well as the excitement of FINALLY meeting the little bean!

8:45am - Pack the car with husband, hockey bag of things I'll never use (cuz I'll wear one pair of pyjamas the entire time, but it'll make me feel better to know that I have the option of a wardrobe change if necessary), body pillow (which will inevitably take up more space than me in the craftmatic adjustable hospital bed) and make our way to the O.R. during rush hour traffic...ugh!

9:45am - Check in to admitting and REMIND the clerk that I've requested a PRIVATE room...so, I'm getting one, right? RIGHT????

11:45am - Get this show on the road!

Now, there were two instructions that I found quite interesting during my pre-op appointment:

1) No nail polish. Wha? Come again? How the hell does nail polish interfere with a stinkin' c-section? I didn't get a very good answer (or at least one that I was completely satisfied with), but essentially it boils down to the fact that high risk patients aren't allowed to be all dolled up for fear of complications (????) so it's just easier to say, no makeup, no nail polish, no jewelry, etc., for everybody. No special treatment. So, not only have they provided me with a fantastic excuse to look like a repulsive slab of flesh, but now I have a real reason to keep my Flintstonian toes naked. (Mental note: take pedicure off my to-do list!)

2) No shaving. I asked because they will be making an incision near the bikini line, I am half Italian and my stomach is the size of Mt. Olympus...need I say more? The nurse said that it was worse to shave or wax that "area" because the opened hair follicles can trap bacteria and cause infection. Again, perfect excuse to stay au naturel, just like God intended, right? (please see picture below...this is what I would look like sans maintenance...from the waist up...so you can only imagine what below the belt looks like.)

Now, all kidding aside, my real questions involved things like:

Will I be able to hold my baby immediately after the surgery (Answer: Yes, as long as all is well with mommy and baby they encourage skin to skin contact)

Will I be able to breastfeed immediately after surgery (Answer: No, not until we reach the recovery room. They don't want to take a chance that the baby will kick surgical instruments or cause trauma to the incision until everything has been stitched up)

When can I see my baby #1 (Answer: As soon as I leave the recovery room. I wasn't terribly keen with this answer, as one can be in the recovery room for an extended period of time, depending on when a regular maternity room becomes available...BOOOOOO!)

And finally, at the end of the appointment, the nurse asked me to look into the two types of anaesthetic they offer for scheduled c-sections (spinal vs. epidural) and make my choice before the 7th. I'm leaning toward the spinal, but haven't looked into it enough yet to be positive (if you have any insight, please feel free to give me a shout!)

So, satisfied with the appointment, I moved around the corner to meet up with my OB for my weekly rendezvous. Baby is still breech, but my doctor has assured me that a) my baby HAS a head and b) the head appears to be of a REGULAR size (please see "Devil In Disguise" post if unsure of the reference). She also informed me, after 2 1/2 years, that the reason I had a c-section the first time was because my spine curves into my pelvis making that area a bit tight (hence my son's hesitance to drop - and maybe that's why this one is breech????). I also asked her what she thought about belly binding (but I referred to it as "post-surgery abdominal support" to the OB, of course, as not to appear narcissistic or egocentric - little does she know!) She said that she's neither here nor there on them. She says some people say they work, some people say they're useless...but if it makes me feel better to try it out, go for it. I said "Awesome!" And finally, I broached the subject of sterilization. She basically said "Are you sure?" and I said "I think so" and she said "Did you say, I think so? Cuz if you did, you're not a candidate for tubal ligation" and then looked at my husband and said "...and why can't you just do it?", which I appreciated.

Needless to say, today was a pretty good day, filled with mildly reassuring news about the surgery and the baby. Now it's all about the waiting...tick, tick, tick!

The Final Cut

Though I love Pink Floyd (a lot, but not nearly as much as The Beatles) this post is not about their terrible album, but rather about (get ready for it) PERMANENT STERILIZATION (echo, echo, echo!) As I was sitting at my desk filling out my pre-op appointment forms for my meeting with the anaesthesiologist tomorrow, I was thinking about questions I wanted to ask him or her, and the ideal of permanent sterilization popped into my head (sounds so icky and clinical...yuck!). I'm very sure that two is company and three's a crowd when it comes to kids. Two, for me, is the perfect number. The family can take trips and everyone has a buddy. When we go on rides at Disney World, no one has to fight over who gets who...kids together, parents together. When we go to the mall and the kids run away (it's inevitable, right?), I can grab one and my husband can grab the other. It's the perfect family dynamic, no?

If I'm SO sure that two is the magic number then what options do we have to ensure that this number stays put? While most Catholics would be shocked and awed to consider any approach other than the withdrawal method (luckily I was baptized Presbyterian) there must be other ways to keep any future babies at bay. The most obvious of answers is classic birth control (either condoms or pill form). I think that I was on the pill for more than half my life and I'm SO over the migraines and the mood swings that come along with it. What about condoms? Do I really need to say more? So what options are left?

I think the most obvious is Vasectomy. Now, to me, the vasectomy sounds like a fantastic idea. I did have to go through almost 20 months of pregnancy altogether, so 48 hours of pain sounds like a cake-walk. The procedure is simple enough. Dude goes into the clinic, the doctor freezes his sack, essentially goes in, makes two snips, and stitches the hole closed. DONE AND DONE. Then the dude sits on a bag of peas for 2 days and can't lift anything heavy. Easy peasy. Unfortunately, upon further investigation, it can be a little more serious than that. Note that I said CAN...Sexual difficulties can occur in patients who've had the procedure done. Normally the difficulties are completely psychological, however. There have also been some studies that have linked prostate cancer to vasectomies. There was, however, a MAJOR study performed involving over 2,000 men that clearly concluded that there was no association between the two. Lastly, vasectomies have a tendency to be more common because they're thought to be easily reversible. This is NOT the case, as I've noticed in my research. Apparently only 50% of vasectomy reversals are successful.

Now, the other option, and most practical for my situation (as I'm already going to be cut open) is tubal ligation. The procedure is much more complicated than the vasectomy, but again, because I will already be agape, the intricacies of surgery have already been dealt with. Adding this procedure to the c-section essentially adds a mere couple of minutes to the entire surgical time. There are also proven benefits for women who have had their tubes tied. Apparently, the procedure decreases the risk of ovarian cancer up to 1/3 and also blocking the tubes can keep other unwanted bacteria out, diminishing pelvic inflammatory disease. One setback, however, is a common side-effect called Post Tubal-Ligation Syndrome, involving painful and irregular periods. This syndrome has never been studied extensively and most physicians don't think it even exists. Lastly, the reversal success rate of tubal ligation is slightly higher than that of a vasectomy. It runs from about 60%-80%.

So, it seems that if my husband and I are sure that two kids are enough, getting my tubes tied would appear to be the most logical way to go. The issue then becomes the snappy decision that would need to be made. The decision to have the tubal ligation procedure would have to be made even before my second baby was born. That's pretty immediate. And, God forbid, if anything were to happen to either child (knock on wood that nothing would ever happen), I may feel a huge amount of regret in our hasty decision. The choice to have a vasectomy can be made months, even years after the fact, without feeling hurried or rushed. It's definitely something that we, as a family, will need to discuss in depth over the next four weeks. But the more I think about it, the more complicated the decision seems to be.

W.W.G.D.?

...and if you're not familiar with this acronym, it technically stands for What Would God Do...but for all intents and purposes this blog writer has officially changed it to What Would GISELE Do, because we should all use her as a benchmark to measure our self worth as moms-to-be and mothers, no?

Today's dilemma presented itself as I was surfing the web (while busy at work, of course) and stopped off on Facebook, where I received a message from Paul McCartney (can you believe Paul McCartney actually sent me a message on Facebook? Me neither, but a girl can dream, right?) saying that he was finally making his first appearance in Toronto in FIVE YEARS and advanced tickets were on sale NOW.

Now, if you know me you know that I LOVE THE BEATLES. And when I say LOVE, it's a true understatement. My son is named after two of them, and he can sing more Beatles tunes than he can Sharon, Lois and Bram (yes, I'm so 1980s, and I should really reference something from this millennium, but I'm too lazy to actually look into it - plus those of you readers with no kids are more likely to relate to SL&B than say, The Wiggles, right?) Seeing all the Beatles live has been on my "bucket list" for a very long time, and since two of the Beatles are dead (one of which has been since I was 3), that only leaves me with 2 left to see. A couple of years ago, my husband and I made the trek out to Orillia to watch Ringo Starr and His All-Star Band play at CasinoRAMA, which was ...um...insightful...so then there was ONE.

Where's the dilemma? Get the freakin' tickets, already! Well, the tickets are on sale for August 8th. PERFECT! August 8th. Big deal. Well, for those of you who are tracking my peanut's birth (which I'm sure ALL of you are...NOT!) it's a mere ONE month after my scheduled c-section. So, you can see that I'm at an impasse.

Now, if Paul McCartney came every year, it wouldn't be that big a deal...but the dude is already a couple weeks shy of his 68th birthday. This is not the most opportune time to miss out on a show, cuz he may not be back for his 73rd birthday, if you catch my drift.

Technically it could very well be a once in a lifetime opportunity for me, right? Done and done. Decision made. Er...not so much. What about the new baby? As my angelic friend Gisele perches herself on my left shoulder and whispers her judgments to me, the guilt sets in. After the birth of my first child, I very rarely left the house in the early goings (mostly because I felt terrible leaving him with anyone other than myself or my husband as he was colicky and miserable)...How can I be so sure that I will be ready, willing and able to leave this new one. Will I be abandoning him or her? If I'm not, will I feel like I am?







I will be breastfeeding this child (as long as I'm able) so that will also make this outing a little more difficult. Do I want to be introducing a bottle that early on? Even if I am willing to do that, will I be able to express enough milk to get me through the entire concert? Will my boobs explode because I will be away from the baby for an extended period of time without a feed? Of course, I ask myself W.W.G.D? Technically speaking, she'd probably call up her buddy Stella and ask if her daddy would be willing to do a quick concert in her backyard, singing lullabies solely for her baby...but if Gisele was a regular person like me or you (as she pretends to be)...what would she really do? Would she sacrifice one evening in her little baby's very early life to fulfill a lifelong dream? Would she be the martyr and stay home and watch this once in a lifetime opportunity pass her by? Or would she slap her wee one in a Bjorn (as pictured) with some headphones in tow and bring them along? Who knows, really, cuz she's rich and famous and this would never be an issue for her.



All I know is that I'm going to feel guilty either way. If I miss the show, it could very well be one of my biggest regrets. If I go to the show I KNOW I will be fretting the entire time, checking my phone for frantic text messages begging me to come home because no one can care for my baby like I can (which would NEVER really happen)... In the grand scheme of things, I'm sure it doesn't really matter. I've lived this long without seeing him right? The baby is surely going to be okay for 5 hours under the supervision of a loving grandparent. Well, tickets are being delivered in two weeks, but this may end up being a game time decision. So, all of you Sir Paul fans out there, keep that night free. You could be the winner of some Macca tickets if Mama is feelin' the pressure.

Should I Stay Or Should I Work, Now?

Here's my life's weekly recap:

YAYS
* Veggies have FINALLY been planted in the garden

* Still no stretch marks (I feel the time bomb ticking!)

* Though Aquafit for Whales is officially over, I did find out that E-Dot's very own Gisele is 15 months postnatal. She might be taking advantage of the pregnant community's system (as one would think after 15 months, you could probably try out a REGULAR aquafit class) but it also gives me a little more hope (and a lot more time) to try and get my body back in shape.

* Back to sleeping upstairs (much to my husband's chagrin)

* C- Section date has officially moved up to proper due date. July 7th, here he or she comes!!!!

BOOS

* Hair has been cut. Though not a typical "mom cut", it's still 6 1/2 inches shorter than it was in the beginning and not 100% to my liking. I guess it grows back, right?

* Cat poop has been spotted interspersed in my veggies. Guess the eggshells and coffee grounds aren't doing the trick

* No idea what the heck this peanut in my belly is doing or which way it's facing

* Gained 4 POUNDS in two weeks according to my OB (The real Gisele would be disgusted, no doubt)

GOALS

* Flipping this baby

* Stick to gaining ONLY one pound per visit now that my OB appearances have moved to weekly (it's gonna be a tough mission)

* Get a pedicure and a massage (yes, still...)

It's 4:20am. I've got the munchies...and not for obvious reasons. Today my cousin had her bridal shower and my aunt (her mother) went all out and baked about 7 Kajillion cookies. Now, you have to understand, my Zia is a baker like no other. Her cookies are to die for, LITERALLY. So, put a 1,000 lb pregnant woman with a sweet tooth in front of that temptation and this is what you get:

AND to make matters worse, she sent us all home with brown paper bags FILLED to the brim with leftovers! Yet, as I tossed and turned with gut rot from all the sugar I ingested throughout the day, I can't help but want to eat more. So far, I've resisted the seduction, but I'm not sure how long I'm going to last...Thanks, Zia, for a lovely day, but if I go over my weight goal at this week's doctor's appointment, I'm blaming you and you ALONE!

This weekend has been my first taste of true uncomfortableness. I know you're snickering at home, saying, "Dude, are you crazy? You've been complaining for TWO straight months now about how uncomfortable you are!" Fair enough. But this has hit an all-time low. I'm having trouble breathing, and just walking upstairs leaves my legs (and arms, and lungs, etc.) burning. I realize that technically this is my own fault. My eating and exercising habits are nothing to brag about...but I don't remember being any "healthier" with my first born and certainly don't remember feeling this HUMONGOUS this far away from my due date. Which leads me to my latest dilemma. Work.

Now, I'm a very lucky person. My husband's job has allowed me to stay home with my toddler (a luxury that most families nowadays aren't fortunate enough to have) and "raise" him. But, as I've said on numerous occasions, this is one of the toughest jobs out there and every job is required to give its employees some official vacation time, right? RIGHT! Well, my vacation time came in the form of a part-time job. One that pays well, gives me the flexibility to leave my son with my mother-in-law and allows me the opportunity to speak to someone above the age of 2. AMAZING, right? Tell me about it!

When I officially told my boss that I was pregnant, the first question she asked me was "When are you thinking of leaving". Valid inquiry, of course. And based on previous experience, I told her that I was willing to work up until the baby officially fell out. As I grow larger and larger, however, my office space is beginning to shrink. The hike from floor to floor is getting slower and slower and progressively more difficult for me. With four and a half weeks left before my due date, I'm wondering how much longer I can last in my present state. And what happens when I only get BIGGER and BIGGER in the coming days? I can truly attest to the fact that the lure of having two days off (Like, really off - no work and my mother-in-law watching my son) is becoming more and more enticing. But will guilt and work responsibility prevail? I'm not sure.

Because I found out early into the starting of my job that I was pregnant, I found out that by the time I gave birth I wouldn't accumulate enough hours to qualify for the maternity benefits provided by both the company that I work for and E.I. Obviously EXTREMELY poor planning on my part. In addition to that, because I work only two days a week, my part time position doesn't give me vacation time, but rather pays me out on a bi-weekly basis. So, knowing that in a month's time, the extra income coming into the house will be cut short is a BIG incentive to stay on the job. Also, I feel a certain obligation to my boss to follow through on the initial promise I gave her. She has yet to hire on a replacement, and I should really be around to "train" the new hire, right? It's only fair.

But as I lumber around the hallways, I notice everyone's sympathetic eyes following me. Mothers around the office can all feel my pain. Each of my Flintone feet feel like bricks as I shuffle around and the pregnant lady waddle has taken over. Is it more important to get my rest and take it easy? Put my feet up before the real work begins? Or will that give me too much time to sit and think? Too much time to play on the computer and check for terrible things on the internet? More time to sit and wallow in my own obese self-pity? Time is really ticking for me to make this decision and I'm not sure what my choice will be. To quote The Beatles "won't you please, please HELP me?"

The Devil In Disguise

I've come to the conclusion that the Internet is EVIL.

Okay, maybe I'm being a little bit harsh...but still. I'm old enough to remember hiking my butt to the local library to do essays and research "papers" and using such antiquities as an encyclopaedia and (gasp!) the dreaded microfiche, so I understand how amazing the internet really is in the grand scheme of things. Imagine having to work under the confines of the library's hours of operations nowadays just to look up some frivolous tidbit! No WAY, Jose! Plus, would a microfiche really tell you what else that dude on Friday Night Lights was on, because you recognize his face, but just can't place him? Probably not...and how would you look for that information anyway? I don't think there's an entry for random Friday Night Lights actors in Encyclopaedia Britannica.




Anyway, I get it. The internet is convenient and, for the most part, it's a godsend. All the information one could dream of at the touch of a keyboard, 24 HOURS A DAY! But this flood of information also poses a bit of a problem. Sometimes too much information is a bad thing.



For example, my baby is breech (STILL!), so I hopped on the computer to find out why babies are breech and what to do to flip them (as seen on previous post). Discouraged after my pre-natal OB appointment on Wednesday, I wanted to check and see what I could really do to turn this defiant little beast as the reality of whispering sweet nothings into the vagina was seemingly more of a last resort than anything else. I also checked a couple of sites that discussed possible reasons for breech births...some of which seem like viable reasons (large uterus stretched from previous births, too much amniotic fluid so the baby floats rather than settles into the proper position, prior c-sections, low-lying placenta) and others were just plain scary (hydrocephaly, anencephaly, congenital defects) which were accompanied by equally scary photos (see below!)























(no comments from the peanut gallery on the size of the head of photo #1 versus the size of my husband's head, please!)



And of course, what do most mom-to-bes focus on? You got it! The birth defects! My main concern was that my child would be deformed if he/she remained in this position, so I needed to do whatever was necessary to coax it to flip. My first attempt was the pelvic tilt. My husband turned on Game 1 of the Lakers/Celtics Finals (Go RAY ALLEN!), stuffed a bahzillion pillows under my butt and got me on my way. My head and shoulders were to remain flat, back down flat on the ground, and my hips needed to be elevated above the head/shoulders. Apparently this shifts the baby out of the pelvis and gives it the space it needs to turn. I had to do this for 20 minutes. After about a minute and a half, I realized that I couldn't breath anymore, as the baby was pushing against my diaphragm...but those images kept flashing in my mind, so I kept at it. Then I felt all the blood rushing into my head...but those images...they're VERY persuasive! At the 20 minute mark, I rolled off the pillows, tears running down my face, gasping for oxygen and my head pounding, but at least my baby would be normal right? Well, unfortunately I forgot to read that this "exercise" needed to be done 3 TIMES A DAY! And the reality was that I really wouldn't know if it worked until the OB checks me again next week.





Off to bed I went, hoping that this child would miraculously flip and I could sleep soundly (and get those frightening pix outta my head!)...to no avail. Rather than flipping, I felt barely any movement at all, which is unusual, as the baby generally has a 10pm party in my belly. Finally at 6 am I got out of bed and again, turned that devious computer on to fill my brain with MORE useless information. Step one - Run up and down the stairs. Okay...still no movement. Step two - Drink something cold. Okay...still no movement. Step three - Eat something sugary. Okay...still NOTHING!!!!!! Step four - This time on kick counts. Apparently at this stage, the mother to be should feel her fetus move 5-6 times an hour. So, I started my count. By 6:45am I had felt nothing. NOT ONE MOVEMENT. Panic sets in. WHAT HAVE I DONE? The pelvic tilt must've moved the baby against the cord and now it's not getting oxygen. It can't breath in there!!! I immediately called Telehealth, (next to the internet, this is my favourite resource) sobbing like a maniac. The nurse on the other line, who was MOST helpful and understanding, tried to make sense of what I was saying in between sniffles, but got the gist of it and asked me to go to emergency room immediately just to be sure the baby was okay.





I ran up the stairs to tell my husband who, in a jiffy, got my toddler dressed and ready to go. As I sat waiting, the stinkin' little beaner decided to jump. I grabbed my pen and paper and began recording kicks. 1, 2, 3...7..10 all within minutes! So much for an hour! My child was moving about like it'd stored all it's energy for this very moment! I guess today was the day he/she decided to have a little sleep in! Good grief!

My husband says that it must be a girl, because no boy would ever try and scare their parents like that. Needless to say, I'm thankful, boy or girl, that everything is okay. Movements are normal and have been for the last 24 hours! I've also made a mental note to keep my fingers off the keyboard as much as I can with regards to researching important fetal facts. And with only 4 1/2 weeks to go, my patience is growing very thin to meet this little one, and send him/her to the naughty chair PRONTO!

You're So Vain, You Probably Think This Blog Is About You

...er wait...it IS about me.



This post is strictly about vanity... and the price a mom-to-be, and eventually a mom, pays when she signs up for the most difficult job in the universe. Because I'm convinced that this is my LAST pregnancy, I'm very focused on getting back in shape once that kid is out! After my last pregnancy, I admit I was a bit lax when it came to exercising. Breast feeding was an amazing experience (for weight loss....um...and I guess for bonding?), as it got me well below my pre-pregnancy weight after about a year. THEN I stopped...And the weight came creeping back up, and up, and up, until I basically had no choice but to either a) exercise (or risk the chance that I would become morbidly obese, as I was gaining close to a pound a month!!!) or b) get pregnant again. I guess we all know what choice I made. Getting pregnant is so much easier than peeling one's butt off the couch to actually exert oneself, no?



Anyway, I've made it a goal of mine to get back down to the weight that I was a year after my son was born again. I know I can do it, since I did it before. It's just a matter of MAINTAINING it. The other issue that I found (and it may just be my experience, or an experience that many c-section moms have in common) was getting back my flat stomach. Even though I weighed less than my pre-pregnancy weight a mere year and a half ago, my stomach still had a bit of a gunt happening. (For definition of gunt, please see post #1). Now, getting that flat tummy may pose to be slightly difficult to get, as I'm having major surgery (maybe I can convince my OB to give me a little tummy tuck while I'm under the knife...? Isn't that what all the celebrities do?) but I've promised myself to give it my best college try.


So, for all those who don't know...the body goes through a lot of changes post-pregnancy and it takes some time to get back to normal (if you don't have a chef, personal trainer, plastic surgeon or strong inclination towards anorexia or bulimia). And the Hollywood standard makes it even more difficult to justify those extra 5-10 pounds that are most impossible to lose, even after a year post birth. I mean, if Gisele can be skinnier than she has ever been 4 months after giving birth to her little guy, surely EVERYONE can do it (please note: she also only gained a mere handful of pounds because she didn't feel it was necessary to turn her body into a "garbage disposal", and didn't use any sort of medication during labour - SHE IS A GODDESS, no? ) Please tell me you got my sarcasm here...




So, with a few obstacles in my way (including age, second pregnancy, c-section, garbage disposal pregnancy body), I felt it was best to look into what I could do to get myself started. Obviously Gisele brags that she did Kung Fu twice a week and yoga 3 times a week before she gave birth...but me? Not so much. I'm lucky to get my whale ass in the pool once a week to float around with other trashcan bodied moms (with the exception of Etobicoke's very own Gisele), and I hardly think that chasing around a two year old constitutes heavy exertion (especially when my butt is usually planted firmly on a park bench or swing)...Exercise at this point in my pregnancy is most likely not an option (mostly because I'm lazy)...So what can I do?


Well, I felt like I should look to other moms whose bodies I admire to see what they recommend...and this is who I came up with:

Brooke Burke (who I think is one of the prettiest no-namers in Hollywood). Again, I realize that she's technically a "celebrity", so she has access to a personal trainer and a chef, and she WAS married to a plastic surgeon once upon a time...but all those things aside, she's had 3 kids and her body looks like this:

So what does Ms. Burke recommend? She advocates a sensible diet and exercise (blah, blah, blah...where's the quick fix here????) AND belly binding.

BINGO!

Now you're talking...So, where do I find out more about this? The Internet, of course! Essentially it's a girdle that wraps around the abdominal area and it's intended to reduce the swelling of the uterus, support the abdominal muscles after surgery (I'm likin' it. I can use the excuse that it's a surgical bandage! Wicked! See, I'm not so vain after all. I NEED it!) as well as help to support the back and legs. This wrap can also help moms fit into pre-pregnancy clothes earlier (...now I'm really likin' it!). They do, however, have to be worn 24 hours a day for 6-8 weeks to see any results (no pain, no gain, right?). So, it looks like these wraps are miracle workers, right? What next? I logged on to amazon.com, of course, and ordered myself up 2...one a medium and one a small (one never knows what size they'll be right after the baby's born, right?). They have arrived all crisp and white in their little packages waiting to give me the waist line I've been dreaming of.



I know it seems too good to be true. Can you really just wear a stinkin' tensor bandage around your midsection for a couple of measly weeks and your stomach will be flat? Probably not, but it eases my mind a bit knowing that I've taken my first step to Mom Jean Refusal. I mean, I'm clearly too young (?) to look like this, right??