The Things I Learned On My Christmas Vacation

Yes, it has officially been a WHOLE YEAR since I last blogged. Okay...so it's only been a couple of weeks...but it WAS 2010 when I wrote my last entry. So, I've finally snagged some time in between the hacking coughs of me, my husband and my two kids, to write down some interesting tidbits that have happened in the past few days/weeks, etc.

These are a few of the things I've learned:

1) The holidays and divorced families make for many extended journeys, tired parents, and CRAZY kids. As most parents know taking a child ANYWHERE for a prolonged period is a task. You have to basically pack everything that is in your house into your tiny car (just in case you MIGHT need it), drive to someone's house with one kid screaming (of course, it's the one in the rear facing car seat, so that you have to dislocate your shoulder to try and "soothe" them) and the other one embarrassingly glued to a portable movie device of some sort in hopes of having some semblance of a quiet ride. Then you have to unpack the car, set it up at the new house, use 0.25% of what you brought, tear it down and re-jenga it back into the sliver of a trunk you have.



All the while crossing your fingers that the kids are so tired, since they didn't nap, didn't eat anything of nutritional value, and are uncomfortable in their holiday clothing (As an aside - why do we find it absolutely necessary to pretend our kids are well put together during the holidays???



WHO ARE WE FOOLING????) that they fall asleep in the car (but double crossing your fingers that you DON'T fall asleep at the wheel while your husband snores drunkenly in the passenger seat! )

Lesson Learned - Keep the holiday celebrations in your own house. Mental note for next year.

2) Buy 2 presents for your kids. One from Santa and one from you. And screw the stockings. We had a billion things to open. One of my kid's played with the boxes while the other played with the toy that the first one got. Most gifts remain wrapped for "another occasion". WASTE OF TIME AND MONEY? I think so.

3) Let people hold your kids. These are the times that someone else is willing to play with your kid for free and then pass them along to someone else who is willing to play with your kid for free. Who cares if they have mono, scarlet fever, flesh eating disease or a criminal record. Just let them play and take a moment for yourself. And your kids are gonna get sick. Period. It's that time of year. It's unavoidable.

4) Schedule SCHMEDULE. Not something I follow necessarily, as I'm a complete and utter anal-retentive nut job...but I think I heard those two words a hundred million times...I guess I just waited for the sugar rush to crash...and hoped that they slept through the night.

5) Trying to breastfeed your baby in the company of close guy friends gets old and awkward. They don't want to see your boobs. You don't want them to see your boobs. You do whatever you can do be in the same room while concealing your boobs...ugh! If I had a photo to show you of my baby buried under a pillow tent (and suffocating no doubt) I'd put it up...but I'll save that for my Children's Aid trial. The things we (read I) sacrifice for a few moments of New Years Eve socialization.

6) Toddler Beds are LAME. Why did I think spending money on a stinkin' plastic toddler bed was a good idea? (Yes, although this has nothing to do with the holidays, it IS something that I discovered DURING the holidays, so I'm bringing it up. Bear with me here.) In my attempt to make the transition from crib to big boy bed easier, my husband and I shelled out some serious cash to purchase a FIRE TRUCK toddler bed for my kid to sleep in. Granted, the transition was a piece of cake, but he must've bonked his head about a buzillion times in the one year that we had it. He's too big. He's always been too big, obviously. And now we're selling it...any takers????

7) Solid Foods are tedious. It's been about an eon since I last fed a child pureed this and that. I'm on day 3 of rice cereal and already I want my daughter to take the spoon in her own hand and feed herself. Admittedly, she super effin' cute with a pasty rice beard...so maybe I'll hang tough. I also haven't been privy to the solid food poop yet...but I've got my smelling salts handy for that puppy.

8) Who ever said crying it out doesn't work is LYING. A pair of earplugs is a mother's best friend until a baby who sleeps through the night takes its place. ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

9) A cleaning service is overrated. Pay someone to watch your kids and clean it yourself. It's cheaper and you'll have it cleaned the way you want it.

Needless to say, my Christmas vacation was extremely eventful and enlightening. Let's hope that 2011 brings lots of health, long sleeps and helping hands for both you AND me!!!

Feliz Navidad and more importantly Feliz Cumpleaños

Good Lord. I'm pretty sure Santa is testing me this week. Now, I realize I'm spoiled, but c'mon...TWO KIDS ALL WEEK LONG? No nursery school. No Nana. No nothing. Just kids all day long. How and why do you do it ladies???????????? Needless to say, the coal I get in my stocking better turn into a diamond with all the pressure I'm dealing with...hint, hint!

This week I've tried to cram as many activities as I can just to keep my kids active, busy and my mind clear of chaos, but as I've hit hump day, the weekend can't come soon enough!!!!!!!!!

As the holidays are growing nearer and nearer, I've been thinking about another party that's coming soon. The party to celebrate my little boy turning 3. Now, I vowed to not have a proper "friends" party for him until he could fully enjoy himself and the atmosphere because it really does cost an arm and a leg to put one of these things on! So, I've travelled high/low/far and wide to track down the perfect venue (and I thank my ladies NS and NJ and their kids for coming along for a test drive). Honestly, it's not an easy feat trying to find a great space to have a party. My poor kid is saddled with the tragic winter birthday, so we can't have any backyard parties (and our house is the size of a normal person's dog house)...so reality set in...we gotta get outta dodge and find a place that can handled a handful of screaming preschoolers. I did some research on the internet and came up with a handful in the area (and some a little outside our area).

Who knew that narrowing down the field was going to be so hard??? Honestly what does a three year old need, right? Well, let me tell you what they need (aka - here's my criteria:)

1) Climbing Apparatus

Now this gets a little complicated, because, although MOST places that I've visited had an apparatus, not all have an appropriate apparatus for a three year old. Some apparati (?) are a little complex/scary/tall for the average bear. And let me tell you. NO PARENT wants to climb three stories up a tight tube to get their kid down because they're too scared to go any further

2) Bouncy Castle

The most precarious of the indoor playground equipment. Kids get in there and they fall on each other, knock out each other's teeth, bash heads, etc. A recipe for disaster, you'd think? Well, you're wrong. Your party is a bust unless there's a bouncy castle. Make sure you have 9-1-1 on speed dial

3) Ample Parking

(I'd hate to be the guy in the middle of that one...)

There are a lot of indoor playgrounds in the downtown core, but finding parking downtown is like finding a needle in a haystack. And trust me, lugging two kids (one in a car seat that weighs a thousand pounds), plus backpack, plus gift, plus whatever else one needs is a hassle. The closer you can get to the venue the better in my opinion

4) Stuff For Babies

I realize that it's a party for a three year old, but this three year old has a 6 month old sister, and there are lots of my three year old's friends' parents that are also in the same situation as me. It's nice to be able to accommodate both kids so that everyone has a good time, right?

4) Privacy

So, here's the deal. It's nice to have the place to yourself, right? No one wants some wild child that you don't know coming in and spreading their germs, biting, hitting, punching, etc. It's hard enough wrangling the kids you like at a party, nonetheless trying to referee someone else's menace. But if you want the facility to yourself, you have to pay a premium

5) Last, but definitely most important...

THE BENJAMINS

This crap costs a ton of money. Like honestly? Forget the party. I'm gonna save my cash and go on vacation for Cripes sakes! These places are ready to take your money and when I say take your money, I mean, they're gonna take your money for EVERYTHING. Paper plates/cutlery/juice...good god! There's no end to the tally!

Now, truthfully, it's not so much about the kids, but rather about the parents. You don't want to pick a ghetto place where the parents will talk behind your back about how lame the joint is. You also don't want to pick a place that's been done before (because you don't want to be copying someone else's idea) and you don't want it to be an inconvenience to anyone with regards to location, because the reality is, is that it's the parents that have to drag their kids out. In the real world, I'm sure the kids would have a blast in a cardboard box...

So last week, I thought I'd found the perfect place. It was in a reasonable spot, with ample parking. It had a climbing apparatus AND a bouncy castle and the price was right. When we got there it was clean and great, had a nice animal motif. The woman who was working there had her toddler with her, who was fearlessly climbing around without issue. THEN HE BARFED. ALL OVER EVERYTHING.... So much for avoiding the flu virus. Okay, it's a little barf. Nothing a little Lysol can't clean up...but I think the vomit tainted the experience a little bit. And my friend said she wasn't keen on the place either. Scratch that guy off the list. I think I was just desperate to make a decision.

So, it's down to two. One place with ONLY a bouncy castle and one place with ONLY a climbing apparatus...the rest are completely out of my price range (I'm NOT spending $550 for a 3 year old's birthday party - NOT INCLUDING GIFTS!). So, this week the final decision will be made. I'm hoping NJ will give me the go-ahead on the best of the two venues and then I have to make the dreaded deposit...

BUT, if you're an indoor playground expert, please let me know if you have any great spots that I might have missed!

And, to all of you who are celebrating the upcoming holiday, MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! May your holidays be as stress free as possible and filled with many arms to help you!

Oops I Did It Again...??????

Because my kids have decided to boycott sleep this past week. I've spent a lot of time awake in my bed thinking. And Lord knows that when you spend an inordinate amount of time thinking, one ends up conjuring up RIDICULOUS scenarios in their head.

One night, very late into the wee hours, I felt an odd fluttering in my tummy. One that made me think back to what seems like EONS ago when I felt the first butterflies of my little fetuses (or is it feti?) flubbering around in my ENORMOUSLY HUGE gut. Once I got that vision in my head I couldn't get it out. What if I was pregnant???? I starting thinking about why I was feeling so terribly tired these past few days...and crap, didn't I feel a bit nauseous on Friday in the morning when I woke up? Maybe I was being so monstrous this past week because my hormones were all outta whack? Is that why I didn't lose any weight this past week? Am I going to have to change the name of my blog???

And more importantly, will I have the dreaded toilet baby because I think I've gotta take a crap, but really I'm in labour????

OH NO! WHAT HAVE WE DONE????????????????????????

Then I started thinking about what would happen if I really was pregnant. I'm having a difficult enough time with two. Imagine throwing another one in the mix...If I was truly pregnant and I was feeling it move, I was probably just into my second trimester, which means the baby would be coming in another 5 1/2 months. I knew that stinkin' 6 week gynecological check up was going to be the death of me. If this new baby was that far along, my little girl would not even be a year old when this new one came. My pulse started racing. My breathing starting to quicken...and I started feeling sick to my stomach...wait a minute...maybe that was morning sickness..........

WHY DIDN'T I GET MY TUBES TIED WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE????????????????

Then I got up, rocked my little girl back to sleep, took a deep breath and really analyzed the situation. Okay, dude. Let's think rationally... you had broccoli and cauliflower for dinner (a recipe for gas), you're tired because you have had 13 hours sleep in the past 6 days (which also explains the irrational thinking), you feel sick to your stomach because you're overtired and you've gained weight because you've been eating pound cake and chips and dip at a breakneck pace. Good grief! Get that silly thought out of your head!

But really, how does a nursing mom know if she's pregnant? What are the tell tale signs???? It's no wonder there are countless episodes of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant". Wait a minute. Don't tell me. I don't need my mind to go off the rails again after I've talked myself off that ledge.

So, I crossed "pregnancy test" off my shopping list and let out a big sigh of relief. I'm just being a lunatic. If I pretend it's not happening, it won't right???????

Is He Just A Jealous Guy?

Good grief. One would think that as your child gets older and more independent, they become a little less difficult to deal with...That's obviously not the case in my house. My child is giving me trouble like it was his middle name.

I can't say when this behaviour started, but it's clearly more than just a phase (or at least I think that's the case). My son has always been ultra sensitive to sound. When we brought him home from the hospital, he used to scream if I sneezed while nursing him. He gets upset if someone with a deep voice speaks to him. If someone laughs loudly he has a fit. A dog barking drives him to tears (even if the dog is in a yard on another street). Nursery school is also starting to become a point of anxiety for him because one of the kid's in his class still cries when he's being dropped off. This child's crying has become contagious, and my Melancholy Pauly (as we like to call him) has taken it upon himself to not let that kid feel left out. Once the crying starts, it's extremely difficult to stop.

My son is also starting to find things extremely "SCARY". I'm not 100% sure he has a grasp on the true meaning of the word, but things he's read or watched a million times without issue are now debilitating frightening to him. And it's not like I'm letting him watch the Texas Chainsaw Massacre...I'm talking about Elmo's World and Toy Story...

In addition to this sensitivity, my son has moved himself into Tantrum City, where's he elected himself Mayor. If my daughter screams, he has to scream. If he doesn't get his way he's throwing toys and hitting the walls, himself and me.

There are so many reasons why he MAY be doing this...but it's proving difficult to actually pinpoint the cause.

1) He is a "spirited" child. GAWD. This term is one of my pet peeves. When did it become politically incorrect to say that your kid is a handful? Like other parents don't get it? Are you a bad mom or dad if your kid is a whirling dervish? Why can't you just call a spade a spade and say your kid acts like a brat sometimes? Why do we have to make a silly, flowery sounding nickname for it? Well, my child is showing his true colours. He has always been a "sensitive" guy so it's in his nature, but is this the only reason he's giving me grief?

2) He is not the only child any more. Okay, it's been five months since we brought our little lady home from the hospital. Is my son only NOW realizing that this kid isn't going back to the hospital? Our attention could now be spread a little too thin for his liking...so he's acting up in hopes that any attention (even if it's bad attention) is better than no attention at all. Has he now decided to put his foot down and make a statement?

3) He has a mental issue. Okay, this is probably the least likely of the reasons...but there is always that potential that maybe my kid is following in the footsteps of Steve Martin's character's eldest child in the film Parenthood. You remember that kid right? The one who had a nervous breakdown when someone looked in his direction? Is that my kid? Sir Anxious-A-Lot?

4) He's two and this is what the terrible twos are about.

5) And the most likely of them all...it's a combination of all of the above.

I'm a firm believer in nipping naughty behaviour in the bud. I've tried reasoning with him, but really...he's just a preschooler, does he get it? I've tried the naughty chair, I've tried acknowledging his feelings, I've tried ignoring his feelings. I've tried distracting him and I've tried removing myself from the tantrum. I'm not sure what else there is to be done????

Now, don't get me wrong. My kid has a heart of gold, and there are many times when it's a complete and utter joy to hang out with him. When he's having a good day, he's a blast. He's smart, hilariously funny and very imaginative. I don't want to sound like I'm down on him, because I love him desperately, but as most mother's know...even the easiest child is a terror on a bad day.

So, this could all just be a phase that he outgrows, but I have to figure out a way to maintain my composure after being tested time and time again. A woman can only be slapped across the face so many times without losing her composure. My patience is growing thin as you can well imagine, and it's extremely difficult to devote one-on-one time to him when our time together is spent butting heads. I'm hoping that there are veteran moms out there that can shed some light on the situation and give me advice on how to not turn into a trantrumming 3o something....

Upon the suggestion of a couple of moms out there, I've taken him to a doctor to see if it might be a hearing issue that is rendering him so sensitive to sound. The pediatrician has assured me that it isn't the case with my son, and rather it's more than likely either a means to get attention or it's a behavioural issue. She's recommended that I read a book called "The Spirited Child" (HONESTLY???? I HATE THE BOOK ON PRINCIPAL AT THIS POINT) and has sent a referral out to an anxiety clinic at Sick Kids. She's also suggested looking into a pediatrician that specializes in behavioural issues, just to pinpoint the problem.

I feel like I'm totally overanalyzing this whole situation and maybe I'm being extreme. But my fear is that if we don't figure out the problems now, they will only escalate and if my 3 year old is melancholy now, who knows what he'll be like once he discovers Morrissey as a teenager...UGH!

I'm hoping that the lessons learned during this stage will help to prepare me for the days to come. They will, right? It's gonna get easier, right? C'mon

I'm writing this really small in hopes that you can't read it. The week has been terrible. I blame it completely on the stress I've been dealing with...I've gained some weight this week...ugh. And the holidays haven't even started yet.

This week I weight 139.8 lbs. Tragic.

All For Moms and Moms For All!

Why is it that mothers who feed their babies formula (whether it be for every feed or just supplementing) feel like they have to justify their choice? I feel like when I'm in the company of other women with infants they feel the need to explain why they're pulling out the bottle and the powder. I'm 100% positive that it's not just me they spill their story to. Why is it that in this day in age, a full grown woman can't feel assured that their choice is exactly that. THEIR OWN! Now, don't get all high and mighty on me...I totally understand the benefits of breastmilk. My first child was breastfed exclusively until he was 7 months old, and then I had to supplement because he got distracted by a particle of dust flying through the air and couldn't sit still long enough to empty a boob. I have friends who exclusively breastfeed their children, I have friends that do half and half, I have friends who just top up with formula and I have friends who rely solely on that tin can. I find, though, that because I breastfeed my kids (thankfully only one kid at present...), women feel that they need to explain why they're giving their own child formula.

I know there are people out there that are crazy militant breast feeding mommas (and kudos to you - because I get it! Breastmilk RULES!)

But really?...WHO CARES????

Is one child weaker than the other? Is one child smarter than the other? Is one child more sickly than another? HELLZ NO! I am a perfect example of this. When I was born, it was fashionable to feed your baby formula. All the cool moms were doing it. Breastfeeding was SO 1960s. Now, in hindsight, did I pay the price for that terrible powder? Do I have a low I.Q? Last time I checked it was in the 130s (and I don't need any comments from the peanut gallery...). Have I ever had a serious illness? Never. I've never been hospitalized, and have always been in exceptional health. My blood work is impeccable. And can you believe it? I'm still alive?? GASP! I know. It's hard to believe! I can hear good ol' Gisele tisk tisking me already, cuz you know...Breastfeeding, in her opinion, should be THE LAW!



My son, as I mentioned before....was breastfed exclusively until he was seven months old. He has, as you know, MANY intolerances to food and suffers from mild eczema. Now my son is also a genius (okay, so I'm a little biased...)...Is it because he got the liquid gold when he was a baby? Or perhaps it's genetic? WHO KNOWS???? I do know this, though. There is research out there that shows that infants benefit from breastmilk. ALL MOMS KNOW THIS INFORMATION. And when you take your prenatal courses, they tell you that. AND when you're bringing your baby into this world, the nurses reiterate this information to you. But I can tell you this - Most moms are adults. And can make choices on their own without feeling the wrath of the public.



Now, I don't know about you, but I'm not Kreskin. I can't magically understand every woman's choice. I can't read all mothers' minds. And I most certainly don't know the reasoning behind someone's personal choice when it comes to feeding their child. Who knows if the mother with the formula has a medical condition, has had breast surgery or is on medication. That mother may have tried and tried and tried and tried and tried to breastfeed but they couldn't produce milk, or heck...maybe they just chose the formula route because they weren't comfortable with breastfeeding. I can tell you this. All women who feed their child formula feel mildly stigmatized for doing so. And because of this feel the need to constantly inform those leering eyes why they made their choice.


Whatever the reason, is it really up to us to judge? Isn't it hard enough to be a parent? Don't we all feel guilty with the choices we make...being too strict, being too lenient, giving our kids candy, or convenience food, making food from scratch vs. jarred, the list goes on and on AND on...Do we really need to start off our journey to parenthood feeling like we have to justify everything??

Now, if you're like me, when you're a "non-parent" you create a mental list of things you'll NEVER do when you have kids. I guarantee that by the end of year one as a mommy or daddy, you've done many-a-thing on that stinkin' list AT LEAST ONE TIME. As a mother, we should help our fellow parents out. Give them advice (BUT ONLY IF THEY ASK) and accept everyone's choices, whether you follow them yourself or not. We are all gonna fall off that perfect parent horse at some point, and let's hope that we have other parents out there who will help us brush the dust off us and get back on that stallion.

So, for all of my friends out there who have chosen the bottle over the breast (for whatever reason)...ladies (and gentlemen) you have to do what's best for your family. And no one knows what's best for that group except for you. I say this as I prepare myself for some nasty hate-mail....ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE??? LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED?

PS - I weigh 139.4 lbs. Phew! What a relief.

The Politics Of Motherhood

Ah...they warned me. They really did! But it's taken THIS long for me to fully understand what they meant. Maybe it's because I'm not the most social person in the world and I HATE socializing with people, for the most part, so my exposure to other mothers is limited to friends whose company I enjoy. But as my son gets older and interacts more with kids in the neighbourhood, at the playground, at school and out and about, I'm slowly learning how to bite my tongue...sometimes...

Here's an example: over the past few weeks my children and I have been on an indoor playground adventure, which entails carting my poor kids from place to place all in search of finding the perfect venue for my son's third birthday party...ANOTHER STORY ENTIRELY...Now, at the last locale there were a handful of different families, moms chatting to other moms and kids running wild. Well...what would I expect, right? That's the whole purpose of an indoor playground...SHEESH! So, my son starts ripping around the place, going from bouncy castle to climbing apparatus to slide and back again. " I love this!" I think to myself, "My kid is burning off energy in a safe place. WICKED!". Then a little boy runs up to him and asks him his name. "This is amazing!" I thought, "Not only is my dude getting some exercise, but he's making friends too! This was a great idea on my part! Kudos to me!" So, my son and this little boy, who tells me he's almost four, start running after each other, and climb into the bouncy castle. I stand back and watch in awe. The older kid turns from angel into devil in a mere moment, and essentially clotheslines my guy. He then climbs on top of him like he's in the WWF (yes, I know, I'm old school. It will never be the WWE to me...get over it!). I watch to see how my kid deals with it...but he just stares at me wide eyed and starts to cry. Granted, my kid is ULTRA SENSITIVE, and cries at the drop of a hat, whether it be a loud noise, a dog barking or mean look. Again, a completely different story to be saved for another day. So, I stepped in and said "Bubz, if you don't like to be jumped on, just say "No Thank You."" What could I really do? It's not my responsibility to discipline someone else's kid, right?

So, my son got over it and they started chasing each other around again. Then the kid tripped mine on the bridge on the climbing apparatus. My guy said "No pushing". "Okay," I thought, "He's asserting himself". I continue to follow because this is seemingly turning into a bit of a bully match. Then my dude picks up a basketball to throw it in a small net. The other kid grabs the ball out of his hands and whips it at my son's head. Now I'm starting to get angry. My kid isn't there as a punching bag for some mangy four year old. I look around to find his mother to see if she's going to start disciplining her kid...but of course, she's NOWHERE TO BE SEEN. So, now I'm on a mission. I have a child who's bawling and a four month old clinging for her life and I'm marching around like a bat outta hell around trying to find this negligent mother. I could hardly believe my eyes. She was actually in a completely other room socializing with another mother. And when I say another room, I mean a room with a door and zero visibility into the adjacent playroom. Her kid could be trapped in between to rocks chewing his arm off at this point and she would have NO CLUE. Before I fly into the room I stop myself...and actually think about what I'm about to do. What are my options 1) Forget the mom and tell the kid off directly 2) Leave the playground 3) Be a tattletale to the kid's mom or, if you know me, the more likely of all my options 4) Put a curse on the kid and beat up the mom...

I figured the most appropriate of my choices was to tell the kid, in as nicely a way as I could muster, that it wasn't nice to push or hit other kids. Mostly because I was afraid to speak to the mom directly...yes, I'm chicken. I'm all bark with ZERO bite. Anyway, the kid looked at me like I was speaking Hungarian. So, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I pulled my son off to the side and said "If that kid hits you again, hit him back". GASP! Oh no I didn't. Um, oh yes I did! I am so tired of kids getting away with that kind of behaviour. If my child EVER pushed, hit, or bullied another kid, you were be sure that I would be on him like white on rice. Although in my mind I love that kind of behaviour, in reality I do NOT tolerate that kind of behaviour. Perhaps I'm overly strict, but I want to be sure that my child understands that a kind person is the best kind of person. (One day I'll heed my own advice....ONE DAY....) I'm sure there have been many an occasion where my child has hit or pushed another, and if I did not act, it was because I didn't see it. PLEASE always let me know if my child steps out of line OR feel free to discipline him...


Now, because I'm not familiar with these situations, I'm not sure how to broach that kind of subject with another child's mother. I also lack the "think before you speak" filter which inevitably gets me in trouble. And Lord knows that mothers get UBER defensive about their kids. There are mothers out there that feel the only person who should discipline their child is THEM. Fair enough. I get it. I also imagine that there are mothers out there who wouldn't take kindly to having their child's bad behaviour pointed out to them. Again, to each his own, right? I have also witnessed mothers who have varying ideas of what discipline is. And then there are those who believe you have to let your child express his or herself in whatever manner they choose. THIS I DON'T GET. And this is where the politics come in...what's a mother to do? When is it considered crossing the line? What's the proper etiquette in these kinds of situations???? What do YOU do in these sorts of situations? Is there a different way to speak to someone you know and see often versus someone who you'll never see again? I need advice, as I gather this mother to mother interaction is only going to become more frequent as the years go on...Before I get all rageorific, S-O-S!



Now, I know I've taken some liberties in my weight loss challenge. Like, I decided that last week, I should NOT weigh myself...for fear of what the scale would read. So it's been SEVERAL weeks since my last weigh-in and I've definitely not been paying much attention to what I eat or how much I've been exercising. Yeah, yeah...You've heard it all before. here's the deal:

Starting Weight: 148.8 lbs

Last Weight: 142.4 lbs

This Week: 140.8 lbs

Goal Weight: 130 lbs

Dream Weight: 125 lbs

Will this coming week be the week that I actually break into the 130s???? I'm not holding my breath, but there is that SLIGHT possibility, right?

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's Off To The Hospital We Go...

Yesterday was quite possibly the worst day of my life. It started off great. I got lots of work done around the house: laundry, painting... but it all went down hill very quickly. We were expecting some friends over for dinner and when our first guest arrived (after a long flight across the country) our eldest decided to show off by jumping on the couch. I'm sure you can see where this is going already, right? Granted, it was totally my fault, because in preparation for our guests, I moved my son's naughty chair from it's designated corner in the dining room, to an empty space conveniently next to the couch. Easy access, right? I didn't even think about the damage that might ensue. Anyway, after several warnings to my son to be careful on the couch, I tended to our guest. As soon as I turned my back away I heard a THUMP and a cry.

My son was on this back (on the hardwood, of course) screaming. I immediately ran and picked him up and put him on my lap. I wanted to see if he was bleeding or bruised anywhere. My son is a BIG head bonker. He does it all the time without issue. This time, however, it was very different. As soon as I picked my son up, his body tensed, he made a low groan, and then started to have a seizure. I immediately screamed for my husband to call 9-1-1...and he approached me (this part I don't remember...) and as he approached me to find out what happened, I wound my arm up to slap him. I guess he wasn't calling 9-1-1 fasted enough and I felt I needed to slap some sense into him??? By the time my husband had made his way over to us, my son has stopped "seizing", and was conscious, but definitely out of sorts. The ambulance came shortly thereafter and did a preliminary scan, making sure he didn't have any neck or back injuries. Then they said, "we're gonna have to take him to the hospital just to be sure everything is okay".

Now, this is not my son's first trip to the emergency room. When he was four months old, he flung himself off the change table and again, landed on the hard wood. I knew the drill. Head injury = emergency room. My son was, at first, a little skeptical about the trip in the ambulance. The attendants strapped his car seat on to the gurney in the back and kept a close watch on my son as we made the trip to the hospital. No siren, much to my son's chagrin. Thankfully, as we left our guests behind at our house, the trip to the emergency room was extremely short and painless. The doctor checked for internal bleeding and any bumps - neither which he had and said that he was good to go. I guess he thought the concussion was mild, so I wouldn't need to wake him up every couple of hours in the middle of the night and that was that.

My son was most perturbed that the ambulance wasn't going to take him back to his house and he had to be schlepped back home in our stinky ol' car but all that really mattered was that he was okay. There's nothing more scary than a) having your child hit their head b) having your child have a seizure c) having your child feel like a wet noodle as you carry them around. Thankfully all is well.

When we returned, our gracious guests had dinner ready on the table for us! (Thanks guys!) I guess, although it wasn't initially in their plans, it wasn't just a typical Saturday night for them either, right?

As an aside, I checked my son several times in the middle of the night for fear that he might not be as okay as the doctor expected. I had thoughts of strokes and other things of the sort. Thankfully when he woke up this morning he was a-okay and ready for some more couch jumping.

So kids, what have we learned from this here lesson?

1) Don't let your kids jump on the couch

2) Don't put any sort of climbing apparatus near the couch to encourage said couch jumping

3) If someone in your house asks you to call 9-1-1, don't ask questions, just DO IT for fear of getting slapped

PS - I just realized that I'm quite possibly the WORST story telling in the history of story-telling. Let me address the seizure bit...which was a heavy concern of mine and I'm not sure why I didn't mention the reasoning behind it when I originally posted this...

The episode is called "post-concussive seizure" and the ambulance attendant assured me that it was just my son's body's way of dealing with the trauma, and that it wouldn't affect him in the long-term. Phew. Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.