All For Moms and Moms For All!

Why is it that mothers who feed their babies formula (whether it be for every feed or just supplementing) feel like they have to justify their choice? I feel like when I'm in the company of other women with infants they feel the need to explain why they're pulling out the bottle and the powder. I'm 100% positive that it's not just me they spill their story to. Why is it that in this day in age, a full grown woman can't feel assured that their choice is exactly that. THEIR OWN! Now, don't get all high and mighty on me...I totally understand the benefits of breastmilk. My first child was breastfed exclusively until he was 7 months old, and then I had to supplement because he got distracted by a particle of dust flying through the air and couldn't sit still long enough to empty a boob. I have friends who exclusively breastfeed their children, I have friends that do half and half, I have friends who just top up with formula and I have friends who rely solely on that tin can. I find, though, that because I breastfeed my kids (thankfully only one kid at present...), women feel that they need to explain why they're giving their own child formula.

I know there are people out there that are crazy militant breast feeding mommas (and kudos to you - because I get it! Breastmilk RULES!)

But really?...WHO CARES????

Is one child weaker than the other? Is one child smarter than the other? Is one child more sickly than another? HELLZ NO! I am a perfect example of this. When I was born, it was fashionable to feed your baby formula. All the cool moms were doing it. Breastfeeding was SO 1960s. Now, in hindsight, did I pay the price for that terrible powder? Do I have a low I.Q? Last time I checked it was in the 130s (and I don't need any comments from the peanut gallery...). Have I ever had a serious illness? Never. I've never been hospitalized, and have always been in exceptional health. My blood work is impeccable. And can you believe it? I'm still alive?? GASP! I know. It's hard to believe! I can hear good ol' Gisele tisk tisking me already, cuz you know...Breastfeeding, in her opinion, should be THE LAW!



My son, as I mentioned before....was breastfed exclusively until he was seven months old. He has, as you know, MANY intolerances to food and suffers from mild eczema. Now my son is also a genius (okay, so I'm a little biased...)...Is it because he got the liquid gold when he was a baby? Or perhaps it's genetic? WHO KNOWS???? I do know this, though. There is research out there that shows that infants benefit from breastmilk. ALL MOMS KNOW THIS INFORMATION. And when you take your prenatal courses, they tell you that. AND when you're bringing your baby into this world, the nurses reiterate this information to you. But I can tell you this - Most moms are adults. And can make choices on their own without feeling the wrath of the public.



Now, I don't know about you, but I'm not Kreskin. I can't magically understand every woman's choice. I can't read all mothers' minds. And I most certainly don't know the reasoning behind someone's personal choice when it comes to feeding their child. Who knows if the mother with the formula has a medical condition, has had breast surgery or is on medication. That mother may have tried and tried and tried and tried and tried to breastfeed but they couldn't produce milk, or heck...maybe they just chose the formula route because they weren't comfortable with breastfeeding. I can tell you this. All women who feed their child formula feel mildly stigmatized for doing so. And because of this feel the need to constantly inform those leering eyes why they made their choice.


Whatever the reason, is it really up to us to judge? Isn't it hard enough to be a parent? Don't we all feel guilty with the choices we make...being too strict, being too lenient, giving our kids candy, or convenience food, making food from scratch vs. jarred, the list goes on and on AND on...Do we really need to start off our journey to parenthood feeling like we have to justify everything??

Now, if you're like me, when you're a "non-parent" you create a mental list of things you'll NEVER do when you have kids. I guarantee that by the end of year one as a mommy or daddy, you've done many-a-thing on that stinkin' list AT LEAST ONE TIME. As a mother, we should help our fellow parents out. Give them advice (BUT ONLY IF THEY ASK) and accept everyone's choices, whether you follow them yourself or not. We are all gonna fall off that perfect parent horse at some point, and let's hope that we have other parents out there who will help us brush the dust off us and get back on that stallion.

So, for all of my friends out there who have chosen the bottle over the breast (for whatever reason)...ladies (and gentlemen) you have to do what's best for your family. And no one knows what's best for that group except for you. I say this as I prepare myself for some nasty hate-mail....ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE??? LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED?

PS - I weigh 139.4 lbs. Phew! What a relief.

The Politics Of Motherhood

Ah...they warned me. They really did! But it's taken THIS long for me to fully understand what they meant. Maybe it's because I'm not the most social person in the world and I HATE socializing with people, for the most part, so my exposure to other mothers is limited to friends whose company I enjoy. But as my son gets older and interacts more with kids in the neighbourhood, at the playground, at school and out and about, I'm slowly learning how to bite my tongue...sometimes...

Here's an example: over the past few weeks my children and I have been on an indoor playground adventure, which entails carting my poor kids from place to place all in search of finding the perfect venue for my son's third birthday party...ANOTHER STORY ENTIRELY...Now, at the last locale there were a handful of different families, moms chatting to other moms and kids running wild. Well...what would I expect, right? That's the whole purpose of an indoor playground...SHEESH! So, my son starts ripping around the place, going from bouncy castle to climbing apparatus to slide and back again. " I love this!" I think to myself, "My kid is burning off energy in a safe place. WICKED!". Then a little boy runs up to him and asks him his name. "This is amazing!" I thought, "Not only is my dude getting some exercise, but he's making friends too! This was a great idea on my part! Kudos to me!" So, my son and this little boy, who tells me he's almost four, start running after each other, and climb into the bouncy castle. I stand back and watch in awe. The older kid turns from angel into devil in a mere moment, and essentially clotheslines my guy. He then climbs on top of him like he's in the WWF (yes, I know, I'm old school. It will never be the WWE to me...get over it!). I watch to see how my kid deals with it...but he just stares at me wide eyed and starts to cry. Granted, my kid is ULTRA SENSITIVE, and cries at the drop of a hat, whether it be a loud noise, a dog barking or mean look. Again, a completely different story to be saved for another day. So, I stepped in and said "Bubz, if you don't like to be jumped on, just say "No Thank You."" What could I really do? It's not my responsibility to discipline someone else's kid, right?

So, my son got over it and they started chasing each other around again. Then the kid tripped mine on the bridge on the climbing apparatus. My guy said "No pushing". "Okay," I thought, "He's asserting himself". I continue to follow because this is seemingly turning into a bit of a bully match. Then my dude picks up a basketball to throw it in a small net. The other kid grabs the ball out of his hands and whips it at my son's head. Now I'm starting to get angry. My kid isn't there as a punching bag for some mangy four year old. I look around to find his mother to see if she's going to start disciplining her kid...but of course, she's NOWHERE TO BE SEEN. So, now I'm on a mission. I have a child who's bawling and a four month old clinging for her life and I'm marching around like a bat outta hell around trying to find this negligent mother. I could hardly believe my eyes. She was actually in a completely other room socializing with another mother. And when I say another room, I mean a room with a door and zero visibility into the adjacent playroom. Her kid could be trapped in between to rocks chewing his arm off at this point and she would have NO CLUE. Before I fly into the room I stop myself...and actually think about what I'm about to do. What are my options 1) Forget the mom and tell the kid off directly 2) Leave the playground 3) Be a tattletale to the kid's mom or, if you know me, the more likely of all my options 4) Put a curse on the kid and beat up the mom...

I figured the most appropriate of my choices was to tell the kid, in as nicely a way as I could muster, that it wasn't nice to push or hit other kids. Mostly because I was afraid to speak to the mom directly...yes, I'm chicken. I'm all bark with ZERO bite. Anyway, the kid looked at me like I was speaking Hungarian. So, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I pulled my son off to the side and said "If that kid hits you again, hit him back". GASP! Oh no I didn't. Um, oh yes I did! I am so tired of kids getting away with that kind of behaviour. If my child EVER pushed, hit, or bullied another kid, you were be sure that I would be on him like white on rice. Although in my mind I love that kind of behaviour, in reality I do NOT tolerate that kind of behaviour. Perhaps I'm overly strict, but I want to be sure that my child understands that a kind person is the best kind of person. (One day I'll heed my own advice....ONE DAY....) I'm sure there have been many an occasion where my child has hit or pushed another, and if I did not act, it was because I didn't see it. PLEASE always let me know if my child steps out of line OR feel free to discipline him...


Now, because I'm not familiar with these situations, I'm not sure how to broach that kind of subject with another child's mother. I also lack the "think before you speak" filter which inevitably gets me in trouble. And Lord knows that mothers get UBER defensive about their kids. There are mothers out there that feel the only person who should discipline their child is THEM. Fair enough. I get it. I also imagine that there are mothers out there who wouldn't take kindly to having their child's bad behaviour pointed out to them. Again, to each his own, right? I have also witnessed mothers who have varying ideas of what discipline is. And then there are those who believe you have to let your child express his or herself in whatever manner they choose. THIS I DON'T GET. And this is where the politics come in...what's a mother to do? When is it considered crossing the line? What's the proper etiquette in these kinds of situations???? What do YOU do in these sorts of situations? Is there a different way to speak to someone you know and see often versus someone who you'll never see again? I need advice, as I gather this mother to mother interaction is only going to become more frequent as the years go on...Before I get all rageorific, S-O-S!



Now, I know I've taken some liberties in my weight loss challenge. Like, I decided that last week, I should NOT weigh myself...for fear of what the scale would read. So it's been SEVERAL weeks since my last weigh-in and I've definitely not been paying much attention to what I eat or how much I've been exercising. Yeah, yeah...You've heard it all before. here's the deal:

Starting Weight: 148.8 lbs

Last Weight: 142.4 lbs

This Week: 140.8 lbs

Goal Weight: 130 lbs

Dream Weight: 125 lbs

Will this coming week be the week that I actually break into the 130s???? I'm not holding my breath, but there is that SLIGHT possibility, right?

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's Off To The Hospital We Go...

Yesterday was quite possibly the worst day of my life. It started off great. I got lots of work done around the house: laundry, painting... but it all went down hill very quickly. We were expecting some friends over for dinner and when our first guest arrived (after a long flight across the country) our eldest decided to show off by jumping on the couch. I'm sure you can see where this is going already, right? Granted, it was totally my fault, because in preparation for our guests, I moved my son's naughty chair from it's designated corner in the dining room, to an empty space conveniently next to the couch. Easy access, right? I didn't even think about the damage that might ensue. Anyway, after several warnings to my son to be careful on the couch, I tended to our guest. As soon as I turned my back away I heard a THUMP and a cry.

My son was on this back (on the hardwood, of course) screaming. I immediately ran and picked him up and put him on my lap. I wanted to see if he was bleeding or bruised anywhere. My son is a BIG head bonker. He does it all the time without issue. This time, however, it was very different. As soon as I picked my son up, his body tensed, he made a low groan, and then started to have a seizure. I immediately screamed for my husband to call 9-1-1...and he approached me (this part I don't remember...) and as he approached me to find out what happened, I wound my arm up to slap him. I guess he wasn't calling 9-1-1 fasted enough and I felt I needed to slap some sense into him??? By the time my husband had made his way over to us, my son has stopped "seizing", and was conscious, but definitely out of sorts. The ambulance came shortly thereafter and did a preliminary scan, making sure he didn't have any neck or back injuries. Then they said, "we're gonna have to take him to the hospital just to be sure everything is okay".

Now, this is not my son's first trip to the emergency room. When he was four months old, he flung himself off the change table and again, landed on the hard wood. I knew the drill. Head injury = emergency room. My son was, at first, a little skeptical about the trip in the ambulance. The attendants strapped his car seat on to the gurney in the back and kept a close watch on my son as we made the trip to the hospital. No siren, much to my son's chagrin. Thankfully, as we left our guests behind at our house, the trip to the emergency room was extremely short and painless. The doctor checked for internal bleeding and any bumps - neither which he had and said that he was good to go. I guess he thought the concussion was mild, so I wouldn't need to wake him up every couple of hours in the middle of the night and that was that.

My son was most perturbed that the ambulance wasn't going to take him back to his house and he had to be schlepped back home in our stinky ol' car but all that really mattered was that he was okay. There's nothing more scary than a) having your child hit their head b) having your child have a seizure c) having your child feel like a wet noodle as you carry them around. Thankfully all is well.

When we returned, our gracious guests had dinner ready on the table for us! (Thanks guys!) I guess, although it wasn't initially in their plans, it wasn't just a typical Saturday night for them either, right?

As an aside, I checked my son several times in the middle of the night for fear that he might not be as okay as the doctor expected. I had thoughts of strokes and other things of the sort. Thankfully when he woke up this morning he was a-okay and ready for some more couch jumping.

So kids, what have we learned from this here lesson?

1) Don't let your kids jump on the couch

2) Don't put any sort of climbing apparatus near the couch to encourage said couch jumping

3) If someone in your house asks you to call 9-1-1, don't ask questions, just DO IT for fear of getting slapped

PS - I just realized that I'm quite possibly the WORST story telling in the history of story-telling. Let me address the seizure bit...which was a heavy concern of mine and I'm not sure why I didn't mention the reasoning behind it when I originally posted this...

The episode is called "post-concussive seizure" and the ambulance attendant assured me that it was just my son's body's way of dealing with the trauma, and that it wouldn't affect him in the long-term. Phew. Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Sick and Tired

So, as I went to bed last night, I started to wonder who it was that I needed to contact in the morning so that I could call in sick. Then I remembered...my house doesn't have a Human Resources department. There's no sick day policy that comes with being a stay-at-home mom. When you're sick at this job, you've gotta tough it out. As my youngest woke up every two hours last night and my throat burned and burned, I realized that the rest that one needs when they're sick was not in my cards, so I started to daydream (thankfully my husband took care of the baby)...If I were at work, I would be entitled to 1 sick day a month. Now that means that IF I worked 35 hours a week multiplied by 4 weeks, it would be 1 sick day per 140 hours.

Okay, so IF I were paid to be a stay at home mom, my hours worked would be (on average) 16 hours a day (plus nights like last night where I was working overtime). So 16 hours/day x 7 days x 4 weeks is equal to 448 hours a month, which means IF there was a Human Resources department at my "work" I would be entitled to 3.2 sick days a month. Wouldn't that be nice? A full 3 days a month of no kids? No whining? No crying? No "No'ing"? No making dinner? A girl can dream right???

So what is a stay-at-home mom to do when she's as sick as a dog and has a very active pre-schooler and a 4 month old at home to watch? The answer, for me anyway...is TELEVISION. Now, I know I've just heard a multitude of you gasp (and I can just picture my favourite nemesis Gisele wagging her finger at me)...but honestly...what is the alternative? I can barely swallow. I'm hot and then I'm cold. My body aches. I know I should just suck it up and take the kids to the park....but I'm not going to. I'm going to open up the pull-out couch in the basement, grab all the pillows, a large glass of water for me, a sippy cup and snacks for my son and my remote controls. I'll bundle up my kids, sit them on the couch with me and turn on the TELEVISION. I've got movies...and lots of them (one of the benefits of having a husband that works in the film industry)...and we're gonna watch them. ALL OF THEM if we need to.

I know it's the easy way out, but I'm entitled to have ONE easy day, no? Can I be a little selfish on a day where a normal human being can stay at home, bundled in their warm, cozy bed with a nice cup of tea (no hot beverages in bed with two little ones) and hop themselves up on cold medication (another luxury a non-breastfeeding person has) and sleep and sleep and sleep? A day when a sick person would normally get to stay home and watch torrid television a la Maury Povich or a scary/violent/adult themed movie they've taken out of the library (not gonna happen with a two and a half year old)? So, sitting cuddled up to my two kids watching Toy Story over and over and over seems like the best alternative...and I'm not gonna feel bad about it.

TO INFINITY AND BEYOND!

I'm a day late with my weigh in, but here it is nonetheless:

Starting Weight: 148.8 lbs

Current Weight: 142.4 lbs

Goal Weight: 130 lbs

Dream Weight: 125 lbs

I seem to have lost a little bit of weight this week. Nothing to write home about, but I suppose it's better than gaining it right? The best part of this week was walking into my local library and having the attendant tell me that I've lost SO MUCH WEIGHT and I LOOK GREAT (these words will be burned into my mind forever!). So, I decided to reward myself and eat FOUR (yes FOUR!) cupcakes (unfrosted, of course...I'm not a heathen!!!!). Needless to say I'm planning on staying away from the scales until weigh-in next week. Especially when there are more cupcakes to be had and NO EXERCISE IN MY FUTURE. Oh well...