Bring On The Baby!

So, my Mother's Day hangover begins...Too much reflection = trouble. I was sitting in the basement thinking about how exciting it will be to finally meet the little peanut growing in my belly when I realized that the majority of the time I was pregnant with peanut #1, I fretted. I worried about how good a mom I was going to be. I worried about how my husband and I would deal with the impending change. I worried about not knowing how to care for an infant. I worried about birth defects, Down Syndrome and low fetal birth weight, . I worried about eating too much. I worried about eating too little. I worried about the choice between raising a child vegetarian or not, about circumcision or no circumcision. I worried about being a worrier. Honestly, it was endless. This time around I don't feel like I have that issue. I know that my husband and I will be good parents. I know that we are able to handle any curve balls thrown our way. I know that I can feed a child 3 times a day plus snacks without forgetting. I know that our first born and "spirited" child has broken us in for anything and everything.

So, what's left for me to worry about? I'm not really sure. Instead of dwelling on all the first-time parental worries, am I just looking for things to worry about? Trust me, if you need me to worry, I can do it...Will this baby is easier, and if so, will I resent my first (so horrible to think, isn't it?). If this baby is more difficult (Please GOD, help me!) will I regret how I dealt with my first?

HOWEVER, I feel like this time around I'm more open to enjoying the adventure, rather than drowning in it. I'm aware of what sleep deprivation is (oh, am I aware!), and I know what to expect. I have a feeling that this is why firstborns have a tendency to be more uptight than their younger siblings (no offense to those firstborns out there). Do parents chill out when their second, third, fourth (and if you're nuts...beyond) come around? I've heard rumours that you'll let your third kid juggle knives, but I always thought it was because you were stretched so thin you just couldn't pay attention, not that you knew nothing would happen.

Luckily, as I hit the 8 week mark, I'm more focused on what it will be like to finally hold this little beaner in my arms. Will the baby look like me, my husband, or my switched-at-birth toddler? In a little less than 2 months all of my questions will be answered and this time, I can't wait to face them head on!

Buona Festa Della Mamma!

I would be remiss if I didn't post a blog on the one day that is dedicated to one of the most difficult jobs in the world, BEING A MOM! And I can't lie... I take advantage of this day to the best of my ability. Luckily I have a beautiful son and wonderful husband who make this day a treat!

As previously posted, my favourite gift is sleep and it was one that was appreciatively given! My husband pounced out of bed this morning when he heard the first grumblings of my toddler. He whisked him downstairs to keep him relatively quiet so that I could enjoy my morning of jobless bliss. And, of course, on the day when sleep is handed to me on a silver platter...I CAN'T SLEEP!!! I sat in bed for 20 minutes begging my body to fall back asleep...but the pregnant bladder calls, and that's one call that CAN NOT go unanswered. Once you're outta bed and the morning light is out, it's a recipe for disaster. Needless to say, the gift was greatly appreciated (and I'd LOVE a raincheck, hint, hint!)

So, once I was "up", off to the shower I went, but as all of you mothers know, once a child learns to turn a door handle, privacy goes the way of Elvis and leaves the building! With soap in my eyes, I was "gently" interrupted by my little one demanding that I open his gift. "In a minute" was NOT an option. Thankfully my husband pulled out the toothbrush (which is a new, favourite activity - for the child, not the adult!) and gave me a few minutes to wash the conditioner out of my hair and dry off.

So, I opened my gift, with lots of help from my wee man and we all hopped into the car for a delicious breakfast of french toast slathered in caramel, strawberries, maple syrup and frozen yogurt (yes...frozen yogurt). To top it off, sleep blessed me for two and a half hours this afternoon! Could I really have asked for a better day? The answer is NEGATIVE.

As the sun goes down, and the day comes to a close, it's hard to not sound cheesy and reflect, not only on my role as a mom (and mom to be!) but also on those moms that are close to me. Firstly, I'm so thankful to have my Mother-in-law, who makes my life a heck of a lot easier. She comes (free of charge!) not once, but twice a week, waking up at the crack of dawn just to drive all the way down to our place and watch our little guy while we both go to work. Never once does she complain! How lucky are we????

And how could I let a Mother's Day pass without sending a big shout-out to my own Mom, who spent most of my thirty odd years being a single parent. My husband and I struggle at the best of times and we're working on two incomes and four hands! I don't know how you did it, Mom!!! Love you lots!

And to all my lady friends out there, some who have been mothers for decades, and some who have been moms for days. There are those who are moms to one and those who are moms to, two, three and can you believe it, even four! (You guys are crazy!!!!) You're all amazing! Happy Mother's Day. I hope you all enjoyed your day as much as I did!

Bootie and the Blowfish

In the journey to save my body from disrepair after the pending birth of baby number two, I've registered myself for pre/post natal aquafit. I realize that in the grand scheme of things (not to mention the amount of food that my body is ingesting) one evening a week of "mild" exercise, probably isn't enough to do the trick, but it's a start right?

So, as you can imagine, the class is filled with big, ballooning pregnant women, each of us at different stages of our pregnancy. We are all different sizes and have different aches and pains, but we all have one thing in common. We are all uncomfortable in our pregnant skin.

Women, on the best of days, HATE HATE HATE being in a bathing suit in front of other women. And, be honest, ladies, when you see another woman in a their swimwuit you are SIZING THEM UP! It's okay. We all do it. We need to assess other women's flaws so that we feel a bit better about ourselves. Unfortunately there is always that one girl who doesn't have an ounce of cellulite on her body. She's fit and firm. Her boobs are perky, her bum is perfect and her stomach is flat as a board. Even if you're in a room filled with morbidly obese women, if this girl walks in you instantly feel terrible about yourself.

Well guess what?? That girl is in my pre/post natal aquafit class! Now, you may ask yourself, how is there a woman with the body of Gisele in a pre/post natal aquafit class? Trust me...every Friday at 7pm, I ask myself the same question. Now, of course, I don't talk to her (because I'm too busy cursing her in my head) so I have NO idea what her situation is. I did, however, overhear that she has 3 (YES ...I SAID THREE!) kids. Now, how unfair is that?????? AND not only is her body perfect, but she has the audacity to wear a freakin' bikini to class. C'mon lady. WE GET IT! You're hot! Trust me...we're jealous! We all aspire to look like you and none of us will. Don't rub it in our faces. Be nice! We're hormonal! We're stretched to our limits! We all feel like blimps! You're not making it ANY EASIER!

So my question is this: When a course says that it's pre/post natal...how "post" natal can you be to qualify? Obviously the obstetrician recommends that you don't start an exercise routine (not that this is really considered exercise) before your six week post natal checkup...so that's a good starting point. BUT...where does it end? Is my Grandmother a candidate? I mean, she had her last kid 44 years ago, but technically she's still "post" natal, right? But even my Grandmother has the sense to sign up for regular senior citizen aquafit...so what's wrong with this chick? Isn't there a supermodel hot body aquafit class that she can register for? JEEZ!

The one good thing that I take from this experience is that it may really be possible that one can look this good six months after giving birth to a child...So, although I'd love to "slip" on the wet deck of the swimming pool and knock this woman's teeth out, I'll instead use her as a goal to what I would like to look like in 8 months time. No pressure, right?

Ka-CHING!

So one of my jobs over the next couple of weeks is to get the nursery back in order. My husband and I have successfully transitioned our toddler from the crib to the "big boy" bed, which is a relief, so now it's time to move on to job #2. We're keeping the nursery as is (thankfully!), but now we have to start the shopping to make sure we have everything that we need. It's a matter of figuring out what the little man still needs and what we have to buy in duplicate. Now this only becomes more complicated when, in a matter of months, our son may outgrow a lot of the things he's still using. So, do we spend the cash now, or just cross our fingers and hold out until he decides he doesn't need stuff anymore?



My list is as follows:



1) Double stroller - Of course one of the costliest of the purchases we will have to make. We currently own a single travel system (where the car seat buckles into the stroller) and wanted to not have to buy a new car seat (which is also quite expensive)...so we were on a mission to find a double stroller that fit our car, our car seat and budget... I was about to resort to this:

and thankfully CRAIGSLIST called! We did a quick jaunt down the street to pick up a lightly used (for only three months!) double stroller (in the exact same make/model and colour as our original) for $200 less than the store price. I can hear my husband's wallet exhaling as we speak!

2) Playpen - This is on my "yet to purchase" list because I'm still in the process of figuring out if it's a worthwhile buy. Although my son is technically in a "big boy" bed, he is still an EXTREMELY restless sleeper. I'm afraid that if we put him in a proper bed, rather than the toddler bed that he's used to, he'll roll out. So, do we keep the playpen that we have and hope that he'll outgrow the restlessness before we have to do a sleepover? Do I buy another playpen and keep it "just in case"... or do I bite the bullet and buy some travelling bed rails that we can keep in storage until we need them? NO CLUE.

3) Monitor - Is the world made for one child? I just don't get it. I've been trying to track down a unit that can "monitor" two kids at once. Is that really a challenge? Any monitor that I've seen has one "child unit" and two "parent units"...Like, honestly, do you really need two parents to be listening for the same kid? And most of the time monitors are battery operated, so they're portable, which means you don't need to set them up in multiple rooms...I just don't really understand. My fear is that we invest in another monitor/parent unit and it interferes with the original, making both units completely useless (I'm saying unit WAAAAAAAAAAAY too much). What to do? Maybe I should just save my sanity and not listen to either kid...could work, right?

4) Air purifier - Now, I understand that this is more of a luxury than a necessity, but it's proven to be a lifesaver for our son. He's such a light sleeper and the air purifier acts, not only as what it's originally intended for, but also as a noise machine, filtering out any unwanted/unnecessary noises and allows him to (on the odd occasion) sleep through the night. I've also read that having an air purifier in a baby's room lessens the chance that a baby would die from SIDS. That being said, I'd like to have one in the nursery, but there's NO WAY IN HELL I'm going to take my son's away from him and risk him waking up at every cough or sneeze in the middle of the night. These are generally not cheap, so I'm starting to see the dollar signs adding up here.

5) Brace yourself for the biggest and most expensive purchase on the list...NEW CAR - Yes, I said it. New car (NOT MINI VAN...so don't get excited!). Now this is also a pipe dream more than a reality, but it's something that's been weighing on our minds since we realized I was pregnant for the second time. Although our car has suited us fine over the past two years, it does have several quirks that may or may not be worth working around. Because my husband and I are of above average height, we both need quite a bit of leg room. Our leg room, however, takes away room from the backseat. This posed a bit of a problem when we first brought baby #1 home, because the passenger seat needed to be pulled forward to accommodate the rear-facing car seat. Anyone in the front passenger seat over 5'6" was resting their chins on their knees. So, comfort was a bit of an issue there. Luckily we were able to work around it and someone could always sit in the back with the baby. This time, we won't have that luxury. With both back seats occupied by children someone is gonna be cramped...and because my husband is 5 inches taller than I am, that someone is gonna be me. Now, can I suffer through it for a year, until we can flip the car seat from rear-facing to forward facing? Probably. I'll be a martyr and sacrifice a little bit of comfort. Unfortunately, we're running into the problem where my eldest is taking after Mommy and Daddy and growing a pair of long legs himself. Now, sure, they're long enough that they can bend at the knee and hang down in the space provided, but he has this fascination with kicking and pushing his feet into the back of the driver's seat. I don't want to sound like the Princess and the Pea, but it's freakin' uncomfortable. So, you can see my dilemma. If we buy a car that has a little bit more rear seat leg room, we can eliminate all the issues above. However, if we buy a car, we raise the issue that our monthly expenses will go up exponentially (and on only one income for 12 months, that may present to be a stretch, especially with another bum to diaper and mouth to feed!)

Now, this list obviously doesn't include things like toiletries, clothes, diaper pail and all that jazz, but I've eliminated the small stuff on the list to save space. If, however, you readers can think of anything else that I'm missing (or anything that I can scratch off the list because it's unnecessary) PLEASE send me your thoughts. I'm completely oblivious to how much our lives will change in the next two months...bring me back to reality!

Cuts Like A Knife...But It Feels So Right?

So, today I had a prenatal visit with my obstetrician. Surprisingly I have only gained 2 pounds in the last week. (I was especially surprised considering the Jabba the Hut type behaviour I've been exhibiting over the last few days...er...weeks). Now I can feel a bit better about the previous 8 pounds in 14 days that I gained at the last visit.

Unfortunately, I did receive a little bit of disappointing news as well. My doctor explained to me that the baby was breech (which I was made aware of when I visited the labour and delivery department 3 weeks ago for some unexplained spotting) but that the baby's position wasn't a big deal because I'd opted for an elective c-section. So off we went to book my caesarean...and much to my chagrin there were no available spots the week of my due date and my obstetrician is away on vacation the week before. I was shocked!!! Why was this left so late? Why didn't we book as soon as I had my first appointment? What did this mean?

Even if I wanted to have a standard delivery, unless my baby miraculously turns in the next 9 weeks (which it conceivably could since the fetus doesn't technically assume the "birthing position" until sometime between the 34th and 36th week), I'm stuck with the operation no matter what.

So...what, pray tell, can I do to coax this little beaner to flip upside down? From the research that I've done, it seems a little bit ridiculous, but here are some options (suggestions paraphrased from http://www.wearsthebaby.com/askce/cebreech.html) :

* Mom lays on her back and raises her bottom about 15 inches off the floor, with some help from some pillows, of course. (So...I'm doing it now. Do I not move until I go into labour? Or should I just be doing it for 10 minutes a day? I assume it means somewhere in between, but it's obviously open to interpretation)

*Another option is for mom to get into an extreme knee-chest position. The point is to get the hips higher than the head so the force of gravity will encourage the baby to move up out of the pelvis and into a more favorable position. (Okay, I don't know about you, but the likelihood that I can get my knees anywhere close to my chest with this 27 pound medicine ball attached to my midsection is slim to none..HELLO???)

* Place headphones near the pubic bone and play music to encourage the baby to turn (I can't even bring myself to comment on this one...)

* Have dad talk to the baby near mom's pubic bone (My poor husband! Last pregnancy he was relegated to the terrible perineal massage and now this...how humiliating... Love you, honey!!!!)

So...it sounds like my three options are as follows...1) go into labour and beg for the physician-on-call to rip me open, 2) cross my fingers that someone who's already booked their c-section goes into labour before their scheduled date and a spot opens up for me or 3) the Matthews' family coercive power (and of course fetal compliance...) flips this munchkin on it's lid and I can deliver the baby the old fashion way (OUCH!!!!!!)... So, all of your reading this measly blog...PLEASE SEND ME ALL YOUR KARMIC VIBES FOR OPTION NUMBER 2..........pretty please??????

Special shout outs to Strahan and Heather - congratulations on the birth of baby Avery last night! Let me know how having 2 stacks up! Also, sending quick and painless delivery vibes to Brian and Lauren who could possibly be introducing their first baby into the world this very moment!

Boys Against Girls

Have you heard of the phrase "Million Dollar Family". I wasn't 100% of the meaning, so I, of course, wiki'd it (did I just use that as a verb????) and this is what I came up with: "...derives from the similar terms "rich man's family" or "choix du roi" One son--to inherit and rule the estate...no brothers are needed to work the fields or run the business (because you're rich) so best deal is not to have second and third sons who will not receive a birthright and will skulk around, envious, making trouble. One daughter--to marry a powerful ally's son and spread your power and influence."

There isn't a day that goes by that people don't ask me: "Do you know what you're having?" and when I say "No", they ask "Don't you want a girl?" because I have a little boy at home. The answer is always the same. "I don't care what I have." And that's the truth.

My choice to keep the sex of baby #2 unknown stems from the labour and subsequent emergency delivery of baby #1. When I was pregnant the first time, I envisioned that my labour would be painful, of course, but I'd get through it without drugs, and then once the little one was born they'd pass to the baby to me, announce the sex and my husband and I would be surprised and elated.

The reality was this...I tried to be a martyr for 12 hours and then finally begged for the epidural, and after half an hour of pushing and two emergency visits from every physician in the hospital because the baby's heart rate dropped, my obstetrician decided to do a c-section. As I was waiting for the anesthesiologist to prep me, the baby's heart rate dropped again, and they immediately started cutting me open (epidural completely worn off by this point, hence the anesthesiologist prepping me)...when I brought my pain to their attention, they knocked me out. When I woke up (after vomiting on the nurse, my mother and my bra strap), they handed me the baby, and my husband told me (repeatedly - like 45 times - and each time I was as surprised as the first time!) "It's a boy". Not exactly what fairy tales are made from.

This time, I've opted to have a planned c-section (to avoid repeating the story above), so that I can ensure that it's slightly closer to my "dream delivery" (if there was such a thing). I'd love to be at least moderately lucid when the baby comes out and I'd like to be surprised (only once) when the doctor tells me what the sex is.

I have NO inkling as to what the sex of this baby might be. Science, statistics and the Chinese Lunar Calendar point to girl, fetal heart rate points to boy (for someone who doesn't want to know the sex of their baby I sure have done a lot of research...?) and everyone and their mother has an opinion on how I'm carrying. Still, I truly don't have a preference, although it does weigh on my mind.

My practical side thinks that if I have another boy, it will be smooth sailing. My husband and I already have experience with boys. They might be rough with each other but aren't they more likely to share similar interests as they get older and more likely to have a stronger bond as they mature? (My husband comes from a family of two boys and he and his brother are like two peas in a pod). AND, I have about 3,000 plastic containers FILLED to the brim with boys clothes. My fear with two boys is that the younger one will always feel like he's being compared to the older, which isn't fair, but maybe not completely avoidable? Two active boys under 3? YIKES!

On the other hand, if we have a girl my husband and I will be thrown into a world of inexperience. Sure, people tell me that girls are much more laid back as children, but lord help us once she hits her teens! (I know my mom is secretly hoping I have a girl just to experience a millionth of the exhaustion I caused her from the age of 13-21!), plus, then I have to buy new toys and new clothes! Cha-ching! Also, because of the different sexes, will the two kids have much in common? Will my son bully my daughter?

In the long run, does it really matter? Will I love a boy more or less than a girl? Never. There are no guarantees in life - whether same sex or not, these siblings could love or hate each other, have everything in common or nothing, be close or distant, feel inferior or superior. I'll just be happy to have healthy, well-adjusted (as well-adjusted as my offspring could possibly be) kids whether my family is worth a million dollars or not.

The Wish of One Pregnant Lady

Sleep. That's basically what it boils down to. All I want to do, morning, noon and night is sleep. And, of course, I'm getting NONE.

When I was young (God! Am I already starting stories like this???) I used to pride myself on how little sleep I needed to get by. Even when my two year old was born, people used to say to me "just nap when he naps"...and I thought "as if!" My body would NOT nap when there was light out (which in the long run started me spiraling downward into my pit of sleep deprivation).

In the past 25 months, my son has NEVER slept well. I keep waiting for that elusive and permanent "sleep through the night"...but he usually tricks me with a few consecutive nights in a row, only to throw me off when he's up every twenty minutes. And, as most of you moms know, being blessed with Mommy Hearing doesn't help the situation. I generally wake up when my son (who's in his room, door closed, air purifier on max volume) shifts positions - because, you know, he may get tangled in his blanket, or his panda may suffocate him in the middle of the night...? Completely and totally illogical, I know, but it can't be helped.

Now, I've heard two schools of thought when it comes to a second pregnancy and any possibility of finding sleep. #1 - Have your kids as close together as possible - you get all your nights sans sleep out of the way at once. #2 - Have your kids far enough apart that one child is sleeping through the night and you can devote all your sleeplessness to one. Of course, in my "planning" of this second child, I figured there would be NO WAY my eldest would still be up a hundred times a night at this stage, but with 9 1/2 weeks to go and two days straight of being up ALL NIGHT LONG a la Lionel Richie, I'm beginning to wonder if my choice was the right one.

I suppose it's also completely beside the point that I have been SO exhausted this pregnancy. From the beginning I've napped when my little one has napped, and even then I feel that it's not been enough. As a birthday gift, my husband stayed home from work and let me sleep in. And it was honestly the best present I got! This weekend, I sat down to readjust the couch pillows and woke up an hour and a half later when my husband and toddler returned from the park and knocked on the door.

I just wonder, once the new baby gets here, will I be blessed with the infamous second baby sound sleeping syndrome (please, please, please!) or will my strong light sleeping genes be passed down to not one, but two of my offspring. Only time will tell. Until then, I'm going to be sneaking naps every chance I can get. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz