It's Time To Walk The Walk

Okay... it's getting to the point that I can't procrastinate anymore. I talk about it all the time...yet, I sit on the couch and eat my chocolate chip cookies and do NOTHING about it. Now it's time to start...and the straw that broke this camel's back happened this weekend. And straw it was. Literally...a stick...of a woman...I was at a two year old's birthday party and in walks a family with two children in tow. The one child was a little younger than my oldest but I couldn't see the other, who was buried in a car seat under a blanket. A friend of mine leaned over to tell me that the baby was only 2 days older than my youngest. And that's when my eyes veered from the baby straight to the mom. What did this broad look like (hoping that I wasn't the fattest girl in the place). BOY WAS I WRONG!!!!!!!!! This lady was gorgeous...and that's not an exaggeration. She was cute, blond with a stunning hair cut and she was thin. And when I mean thin, she was thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin...like as a human she was thin...not as a woman who gave birth two months ago thin. She was what every woman wishes they looked like two months after they have a baby or what every woman wishes she'd look like...period.

And that's when I wanted to die. Although no one said anything I KNOW that people were looking at her and then at me, making comparisons...one of these things just doesn't belong here...if you catch my drift. I know if it wasn't me, I'd be making those comparisons too. So, GISELE BUNDCHEN is laughing from her high horse no doubt. There really are women out there who can get their figure back AFTER a kid...even AFTER TWO, and it doesn't take a whole year.

So, what this boils down to is this...I need to lose weight. I've hit this terrible plateau (mainly self induced...with no help from my insatiable appetite and my lack of motivation in the exertion department) of post-baby weight loss and there's nothing left to take the weight off except exercise and a change in my diet. So goodbye Aero bars, adios gummy coke bottles, auf wiedersehen chips and dip, and ciao gelato. Kickboxing officially starts one week tomorrow and what better place to be accountable than online, in front of tens of people. When it's in writing it seems so much more...um...terrible. So, beginning today I will track my weight each week, whether I've lost any or not, for that matter. This is the kick in the pants that I need. Jillian Michaels, her exercise DVDS (including Shred-It With Weights - if interested, please see your local store for these titles...I'm still waiting for "6 Week Six Pack" to come in...) and I will become best friends and more likely worst enemies...but I don't care. I'm tired of these wobbly-jobbly thighs, these sad sack abdominals and my grandma chicken flab arms. I am also tired of talking about how fat I am (as I'm sure everyone around me is equally as repulsed). It's time to do something about it.

Here it is:

Beginning Weight: 148.8 lbs

Goal Weight: 130 lbs

Dream Weight: 125 lbs

Why do I hear Rocky's Theme in my head "trying hard now...getting strong now..." Yes! There I am...running up those steps...I've almost made it...My arms are raising above my head...You can see it too, right?

He's Leaving Home...Bye Bye

As many of you mothers know, yesterday was the first official day of school. Although several of you were overjoyed to finally have some peace and quiet in your household there were many whose children have just left home for a full day for the first time...and this has caused much sadness. As I was taking my youngest out for a walk yesterday, I ran into one of my friends as she was leaving to pick up her kids from school. This woman is another hero of mine, as she has twins and makes raising two for one look VERY easy. Her kids are fantastic, smart, athletic and very well behaved and you can tell they love their mother very much. The feeling is obviously mutual and I knew that she would be a little blue when the two apples of her eye were off to full day school. And I was right. She came out with tears in her eyes, saying that she had thought she was going to be okay, but as the day came closer and closer, she got a little sadder and sadder. I know that it will get easier but I can totally relate...

You may remember waaaaaaaay back when, I was stressing about getting my son into some sort of daycare situation because I was afraid of having to entertain TWO KIDS at the same time. At that point, my husband and I had our little guy enrolled in a part time nursery school program, but were hoping to get a 5 day a week situation with the nursery school or at least getting him into a two day a week FULL TIME daycare program. We were fretting that we wouldn't ever get a placement because the waiting lists were jammed. I got an email yesterday from the director of the nursery school saying that they were going to be discussing the waiting list on Wednesday (today!!!!) to decide who was eligible for the full time program. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS...or so I thought. The idea sounds great. One kid all week except for the afternoon when the eldest is spending the majority of the time napping. What could be better, right? WRONG. After really giving it some thought I started panicking. He's already scheduled for two mornings at nursery school a week. Then Nana comes twice a week and watches one so I can play with the other, so that really leaves me with ONE DAY A WEEK to spend with my two kids at the same time. If I put him into the nursery school 5 days a week then I will have NO time to play with him. NONE. Just the weekends...and that's when I have to fight off my husband who is trying to get his time in as he has been kid deprived all week while at work.

So, essentially now I look like a jerk. I've contacted the nursery school AT LEAST four times since we were put on the list to see if there was any movement, if there was a chance we would get a spot...and tomorrow I may get a phone call offering my little guy a full time position! EEEEEEK! I feel like the best thing for me is to decline. Am I crazy? I know that it would benefit my eldest to go to school. He's pretty smart and I can only teach him so much...but I'm obviously also selfish and I want a little time with him. I also wonder if I'm just being spoiled right now. My baby is perfect. She sleeps, she's happy...but once she gets a little older...a little more mobile...will two be a handful? Will I regret my decision? All I know is that if I'm this sad about two half days a week, I can only imagine what kind of a disaster I will be 1) on the first day of full time school and 2) when both my kids go off to university....Good thing I have a couple of years to prepare myself. My heart goes out to all the moms out there that are finding their days empty and quiet. I know it will get easier...but I totally get it.

Let's Get Physical

Well, today is the day. It's my "6 week appointment" at my OB, but technically I have been UNPREGNANT for 8 weeks. Yes, it's been two months! Time is really flying! Two months after Gisele Bundchen gave birth to her magical and perfect baby she looked like this:

I, on the other hand, look more like this:

With 20 pounds left to lose I'm crossing my fingers that my doctor will give me the go-ahead for a rigorous exercise regime. This is the point where I'm extremely jealous of those women who have given birth in the "normal" way. Although I can only imagine the pain and agony you women feel as the baby is crowning (GOOD LORD!), once it's out, you get a couple of stitches, sit in a sitz bath for a week, and you're basically good to go. I know, I know...I'm sure it's worse than I'm making it out to be...but let me wallow in my own self-pity please. With a c-section, it's not that easy...Because I've essentially been severed in half I have to worry about doing damage to my already broken tummy. That's why it's so important to let my belly heal for the entire 6 (or 8 in my case) weeks.

Before a post-natal woman begins to exercise, she must be sure to check if she has diastasis of the rectus abdominis, which is a separation of the main abdominal muscle. Apparently as a pregnant woman gets bigger and bigger, it puts stress on the abdominal wall and if that wall is weak already (as was my case as I had a previous pregnancy and did ZERO exercise afterwards), the uterus can push those muscles further and further apart. On the left is a sketch of diastasis of the belly, on the right is what it is supposed to look like...

Originally, I thought it was pointless to exercise and get back into shape after my first was born. I knew I wanted to have another kid, so it seemed futile to do all that work only to balloon again. Looks like I was VERY wrong! I obviously would've been well ahead of the game if I'd just done some crunches...Anyway, I've been trying to figure out if I have this ailment...but I'm not 100% sure how to check. The internet explains that one is to lie on their back with their knees up, feet flat on the floor. Take one hand and place it on your abdomen, pointing fingers towards the toes, and lift head up while contracting the stomach muscles. If you can fit 3 or more fingers in the space between the two sides, you're in trouble...BUT you have to know what you're feeling for...and I don't (or maybe the space between my two sides is just SO big my hand is getting lost in there!!!)

The reason it's important to figure out if I have diastasis is because one really shouldn't be doing abdominal exercises IF this condition exists. Apparently you have to close up that space before you can do any other abdominal work, or you may risk doing MAJOR damage to those muscles. EEEEEEK! Well, Gisele, the photos don't lie. You obviously didn't suffer from this problem! But the reality is that most women aren't Gisele and more women are like me...right??? Just say yes to make me feel a little bit better, okay? So what happens if a woman does eat the entire Loblaws bakery section for 9 1/2 months and their belly gets a little bigger than they wanted it to? How would one remedy this?

The web does give a couple of exercise ideas to strengthen those transverse abdominal muscles, including planks, back extensions, and the ever exciting (read- disgusting) STOMACH VACUUM!

If those don't work, it's a trip to the physiotherapist to get one's belly in order.

I guess I'll just have to wait and see what the doc says today. Maybe I'll have a stroke of good luck and get the thumbs up so that I can sign myself up for the ass-pummeling cardio kickboxing class..but maybe I'll be looking into sucking it up and sucking it in to get these muscles together before I do anything else.

The Lady System

Once upon a time I had a boyfriend who used to torture his mother by tickling her. Sounds totally weird, and I at first wasn't quite sure why this was torturous...but I soon learned. If this mother was tickled, she used to pee her pants. To me that was totally whack. What grown woman pees her pants? C'mon!!! Get a grip, lady!!!

After I gave birth to my first child I took a "ballet bootcamp" class at the local pilates studio. There was a woman who had to, quite frequently, take pee breaks during each class because if she didn't relieve herself, she would also pee her pants. Again, I didn't really get it. Women blamed childbirth and the "pushing" action for their incontinence...but I had given birth...I had pushed for half an hour (granted, a baby didn't technically come out of that nether-region...but I still pushed), yet I didn't once have any urination issues.

Then came baby number two. My baby was big and LOW and pushed on my bladder CONSTANTLY. Because my little one was breech..she REALLY loved to kick "down there". And, I'll admit it, there were a couple of times when I coughed or sneezed and a little "bit" snuck out. But, luckily, I have somehow managed to go through two pregnancies pretty much unscathed.

Last week I was with a handful of ladies in a mom's group and someone mentioned that they were prescribed the "Lady System" by their OB at their six week appointment. Obviously I was intrigued. What the heck was this "lady system". This particular mom proceeded to explain that is was 5 different weights that you stuck in your vagina (similar to a tampon) and the goal was to keep this weight inside for a certain amount of time each day to workout the kegel muscles, hence tightening up the pelvic floor . SAY WHA????? Never in a million years had I EVER HEARD OF SUCH A THING! I couldn't imagine having to do that for half an hour every day. Like a new mom doesn't have enough to do?? In addition to caring for a newborn baby, trying to get some sleep, losing her baby weight, cleaning a house and cooking for her family, she has to do all of this while balancing a pendulum from her front bum??? That is CRAZY TALK!

So, I looked it up and sure enough, there it is, in all its glory. So all of you out there who are like me and have never heard of such a thing...check out the website:

http://www.ladysystem.ca/index.html

Now, I'm not sure what happens if one of these weights falls out...but it sounds like an interesting remedy to a problem I thankfully don't have. If you've tried it out, please let me know. I'm curious to know if it's a scam, or if it actually fixes the issue...and for those of you who have this issue...dangling a string in between your legs for a couple of minutes each day sounds mildly more appetizing than a "Depends", no? And for those of you out there, tickling your moms for a laugh...have a little sympathy. They pee because of you, ya jerk!

Off To The Witch Doctor - Ooo Eee Walla Walla Bing Bang

It's been almost a full year that my son has had a cough and a runny nose. The cough goes away on occasion, but rears its ugly head with a mere week's break. And of course, when a toddler has a cough, the entire house feels his pain. Especially when he's up ALL NIGHT LONG hacking away. We've tried all the usual home remedies: honey, cool mist vaporizer, sitting in a room with steam, all with no results. I've brought it up with my child's pediatrician and she blames his immature immune system and the fact that "at this age kids are prone to at least 10 colds in a year"...Well, I know lots of kids his age, and he seems to be sick a lot more often than anyone else. So we asked another pediatrician for a second opinion. She thought that MAYBE he had a mild case of childhood asthma and prescribed him a puffer (which I didn't fill - mostly because he MIGHT have asthma...not because he DOES have asthma). I wasn't aware that asthma went along with a runny nose. He has no trouble breathing, he has no loss of energy. It just didn't seem right to me. I asked the pediatrician about the possibility of allergies but she scoffed and said no, she was sure that wasn't it.





A good friend of mine, who has a child similar in age, was also experiencing similar symptoms. She, upon recommendation of a friend, took her son to a naturopath, who ultimately diagnosed her son as having allergies - food allergies AND environmental allergies. Once she changed his diet and was aware of his surroundings his symptoms diminished completely.



So, I gave it some more thought. My son really could be suffering from allergies. The fact that the cough and runny nose really DON'T seem to be going away could mean that he's constantly exposed to something that his little body isn't tolerating. An allergy also could explain the rash that comes and goes on his body (his pediatrician said that was a mild case of eczema...and prescribed a constant slathering of cortisone, which I'm not about to do either).


So, I thought it was best just to check out a local naturopath and see what she has to say. My husband's benefits plan covers a portion of it, so it wasn't going to hurt. I visited a naturopath once for myself and felt like it was mostly a sham. I believed that each naturopath was told to diagnose their patients with candida (which I was diagnosed with, and I BET YOU A BILLION DOLLARS THAT IF YOU WENT YOU'D BE DIAGNOSED WITH IT TOO!!!!), get them to spend a million dollars on homeopathic remedies and send them on their way. To me, it was the same as going to see a voodoo priestess ... it just didn't seem right...






...but when it comes to the health of my children, I want to make sure I explore all avenues to ensure I have the REAL diagnosis.


I figured that if I was going to take my son to see this "quack", I might as well get them to check me out too. I want to be sure that my health is as good as it gets. Especially when I'm breastfeeding. I would like to know that I'm doing everything I can to provide my little girl with the best milk she can get, and I'm hoping they can steer me in the right direction. Being vegetarian sometimes means that my diet is lacking in certain vitamins and minerals, so I'd love to hear what they recommend.




My appointment is today and I had a VERY thorough questionnaire to fill out before my arrival, asking about my previous health, environment in which I grew up in, lifestyle, etc. This is definitely a different experience than the one I had a couple of years ago. In addition, they had a completely different questionnaire for my son to fill out. One geared strictly toward children, which I thought was pretty cool. I'm hoping that this visit is a successful one for the whole family and we can figure out some of the unsolved mysteries that have eluded us thus far. Wish us luck!

Take A Load Off Frannie

As you all know, it's been my mission, even before I gave birth, to get back to my previous self. I have been so sick of looking like an overweight Librarian from The Hilarious House of Frightenstein... (if you don't know this show, you MUST watch it just once. It'll blow your mind - please see below for photo of said character - yes, when I say I look like the Librarian, I mean mustache et al.)

...but I have a ways to get back to "normal". I figured I should definitely start with some easy stuff...Dye my hair, paint my nails...and then move on to the tougher stuff when I can. So, I grabbed some L'Oreal and got to it. Of course, I followed the instructions to a tee, and my hair looks GLORIOUS, with the exception of those dastardly grey hairs that continue to boing out of my head like pubic hair...and don't think those grey hairs changed pigment. Of course not...they remain as grey as the day I gave birth. Good LORD! Someone throw me a bone, here!

My mother took pity on me and my disgustingly dry and gross fingers and toes. She, bless her heart, paid an esthetician to COME TO MY HOUSE and give me a mani/pedi ON MY OWN COUCH!!! How luxurious is that? All I needed was someone to fan me and feed me grapes! Of course, the moment the lady finished the top coat on my nails, the baby started to cry and I had to change her diaper...so much for the mani!

So, the easy stuff is now out of the way (until I can find a more powerful hair colour!)...it's time to move on to the tough stuff...

It's been 6 weeks since I became a mom for the second time. I can hardly believe it! It seems like only yesterday, but in actuality it's been 42 days! That's crazy. In those 42 days my goal for losing all of my baby weight has essentially been at the bottom of my list of "things to do". Yes, I was the anti-Gisele and whored my body out to the garbage monster for 10 months and gained an obnoxious 46 pounds (yes, you read that right...aren't you supposed to gain less weight the second time around?????) In these past 6 weeks I've only lost HALF that weight.

Now, I know some of you are thinking, "Dude, it's been 6 weeks...give yourself a break"...and to those that are nodding their head, I thank you for your kindness. I am still in my maternity pants...and not the maternity pants that I started out with way back in November, but rather the same maternity pants that I wore 7 weeks ago. Like my fat pregnant lady maternity pants. Those, I'm gonna pop in two days maternity pants...those same maternity pants that I wore when I had an 8 pound baby, amniotic fluid, placenta and expanded uterus encapsulated in my midsection. So, I'm telling you that even though a doctor pulled all of that junk out of my body, the tummy has still decided that it doesn't feel that its necessary to shrink. AND of course, I REFUSE to buy a larger size of normal pants ...so until I lose this weight I'm either going to be wearing muumuus, drawstring pants or maternity pants until I can squeeze my thighs into my old jeans.

So, for fun (or rather punishment), I grabbed a belt of mine from the closet, just to see how it fit. It was too small, and when I say too small, I mean the two ends of the belt didn't touch. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? Sure, I was bed ridden for the first 3 weeks, but really? I breastfeed 24 hours a day. Isn't that supposed to burn calories? (please note: I'm completely omitting the fact that I ram food into my mouth almost as much as I shove my boob in my daughter's mouth). So, now that I've hit the 6 week milestone, it's officially time to get off my wide load and get into the gym (or do some kind of physical exertion).

Much to my chagrin (as well as my husband's), my 6 week appointment with my OB has been pushed back because she's on vacation. I will not get the go-ahead for any exercise until 8 weeks!!! So that's another 2 weeks of being a lardo. I can hear Gisele laughing from here....BITCH!

So what is my plan after I get the go-ahead? I "plan" on working out hardcore. Now, those of you who really know me, know that I'm really not going to work out hardcore. I pretend...but the actuality is that it's not going to happen. I have two kids at home, one who is a stationary blob and the other can't sit still. I'm not going to get any exercise with these two. I can't go for long walks to burn off some calories because my toddler would NEVER sit in a stroller for long enough. I can't run around after my two year old because I would either be completely ignoring my baby or giving her shaken baby syndrome in the Bjorn.

So what's a girl to do? My goal is to take a kickboxing class. Toronto Parks and Rec offers a FREE kickboxing course given by the meanest, ass-kickingest dude I've ever met. I signed up last fall but had to drop out when I found out I was pregnant, BUT the four classes that I DID do made me feel like an exercise rockstar. I left each class wanting to vomit, and in my mind, that means that I had a great workout. Now I just have to cross my fingers that my OB gives me the okay. I don't want to do any more damage to my already-cut-in-half body AND... I have to convince my husband that he REALLY wants to spend some quality time with the two kids for an hour and a half each week...Not sure which one will be more difficult.

And of course, this is old news, but it's never been posted on this blog...here's to some Gisele bashing. Trust me, we all understand the benefits of breastfeeding...but not all women CAN breastfeed, Ms. Bundchen...Everything doesn't come as easily for SOME people...but it must be nice to be perfect. (Have a read if you haven't read this already...)

http://www.thecelebritytruth.com/supermodel-gisele-bundchen-breastfeeding-law/0018661

All You Need Is Sleep...Sleep Is All You Need

So, I have the secret to balancing two kids...shhhhhhhh....let's keep it between you and me. It's sleep. And of course, what new mom gets any sleep? Not very many, I can tell you that much. But I do notice this: the nights that I get a good, consecutive number of hours sleep bring on days where dealing with a toddler and a newborn seem relatively easy (and when I say easy, what I really mean is tolerable). The nights where I get no sleep bring on days when I feel like tossing both kids in the composter (a friend of mine once pointed out that there is a picture of a baby on the green compost bins, therefore it must be okay to toss them in there at some point, no?)

Everyone always says "make sure you sleep when your newborn does"...but they forget that I have a toddler and I could win the lottery sooner than I would have a day when both kids are sleeping at the same time...so my husband and I came up with (read: I strong-armed him into agreeing to) a plan. Although not entirely romantic, we do night time split shifts. He does the 11pm to 3am shift and I do the 3am to 7am shift. This way we ensure that each of us gets x number of hours of uninterrupted sleep. Perfect right? Well almost perfect, because, as all of you breastfeeding moms know, your boobs don't always follow the sleeping schedule. My boobs are on a "fill up every two hour" schedule, which makes for an extremely uncomfortable and wet sleep on most evenings. If I sleep longer than 4 hours I end up looking and feeling, for the most part, like this:

So, even though my thoughtful husband allows me to sleep as much as I can to ensure his kids don't end up at the City of Toronto waste management site, my bags o'milk aren't as considerate. Thankfully I have many hands in the babysitting kitchen so I have some breaks during the day. So, all of you out there looking for advice on how to keep your sanity as a new mom. Sleep. Sleep as much as you can, whenever you can, wherever you can. I doesn't matter if you're on the toilet, it doesn't matter if you're breastfeeding, just DO IT. Trust me. Your children will thank you for it in the long run.

I wanted to quickly give a shout out to Ian, Adrienne and Charlotte. Congratulations on baby Kieran. We can't wait to meet him, and we're so happy that you had a quick and safe delivery!