Should I Stay Or Should I Work, Now?

Here's my life's weekly recap:

YAYS
* Veggies have FINALLY been planted in the garden

* Still no stretch marks (I feel the time bomb ticking!)

* Though Aquafit for Whales is officially over, I did find out that E-Dot's very own Gisele is 15 months postnatal. She might be taking advantage of the pregnant community's system (as one would think after 15 months, you could probably try out a REGULAR aquafit class) but it also gives me a little more hope (and a lot more time) to try and get my body back in shape.

* Back to sleeping upstairs (much to my husband's chagrin)

* C- Section date has officially moved up to proper due date. July 7th, here he or she comes!!!!

BOOS

* Hair has been cut. Though not a typical "mom cut", it's still 6 1/2 inches shorter than it was in the beginning and not 100% to my liking. I guess it grows back, right?

* Cat poop has been spotted interspersed in my veggies. Guess the eggshells and coffee grounds aren't doing the trick

* No idea what the heck this peanut in my belly is doing or which way it's facing

* Gained 4 POUNDS in two weeks according to my OB (The real Gisele would be disgusted, no doubt)

GOALS

* Flipping this baby

* Stick to gaining ONLY one pound per visit now that my OB appearances have moved to weekly (it's gonna be a tough mission)

* Get a pedicure and a massage (yes, still...)

It's 4:20am. I've got the munchies...and not for obvious reasons. Today my cousin had her bridal shower and my aunt (her mother) went all out and baked about 7 Kajillion cookies. Now, you have to understand, my Zia is a baker like no other. Her cookies are to die for, LITERALLY. So, put a 1,000 lb pregnant woman with a sweet tooth in front of that temptation and this is what you get:

AND to make matters worse, she sent us all home with brown paper bags FILLED to the brim with leftovers! Yet, as I tossed and turned with gut rot from all the sugar I ingested throughout the day, I can't help but want to eat more. So far, I've resisted the seduction, but I'm not sure how long I'm going to last...Thanks, Zia, for a lovely day, but if I go over my weight goal at this week's doctor's appointment, I'm blaming you and you ALONE!

This weekend has been my first taste of true uncomfortableness. I know you're snickering at home, saying, "Dude, are you crazy? You've been complaining for TWO straight months now about how uncomfortable you are!" Fair enough. But this has hit an all-time low. I'm having trouble breathing, and just walking upstairs leaves my legs (and arms, and lungs, etc.) burning. I realize that technically this is my own fault. My eating and exercising habits are nothing to brag about...but I don't remember being any "healthier" with my first born and certainly don't remember feeling this HUMONGOUS this far away from my due date. Which leads me to my latest dilemma. Work.

Now, I'm a very lucky person. My husband's job has allowed me to stay home with my toddler (a luxury that most families nowadays aren't fortunate enough to have) and "raise" him. But, as I've said on numerous occasions, this is one of the toughest jobs out there and every job is required to give its employees some official vacation time, right? RIGHT! Well, my vacation time came in the form of a part-time job. One that pays well, gives me the flexibility to leave my son with my mother-in-law and allows me the opportunity to speak to someone above the age of 2. AMAZING, right? Tell me about it!

When I officially told my boss that I was pregnant, the first question she asked me was "When are you thinking of leaving". Valid inquiry, of course. And based on previous experience, I told her that I was willing to work up until the baby officially fell out. As I grow larger and larger, however, my office space is beginning to shrink. The hike from floor to floor is getting slower and slower and progressively more difficult for me. With four and a half weeks left before my due date, I'm wondering how much longer I can last in my present state. And what happens when I only get BIGGER and BIGGER in the coming days? I can truly attest to the fact that the lure of having two days off (Like, really off - no work and my mother-in-law watching my son) is becoming more and more enticing. But will guilt and work responsibility prevail? I'm not sure.

Because I found out early into the starting of my job that I was pregnant, I found out that by the time I gave birth I wouldn't accumulate enough hours to qualify for the maternity benefits provided by both the company that I work for and E.I. Obviously EXTREMELY poor planning on my part. In addition to that, because I work only two days a week, my part time position doesn't give me vacation time, but rather pays me out on a bi-weekly basis. So, knowing that in a month's time, the extra income coming into the house will be cut short is a BIG incentive to stay on the job. Also, I feel a certain obligation to my boss to follow through on the initial promise I gave her. She has yet to hire on a replacement, and I should really be around to "train" the new hire, right? It's only fair.

But as I lumber around the hallways, I notice everyone's sympathetic eyes following me. Mothers around the office can all feel my pain. Each of my Flintone feet feel like bricks as I shuffle around and the pregnant lady waddle has taken over. Is it more important to get my rest and take it easy? Put my feet up before the real work begins? Or will that give me too much time to sit and think? Too much time to play on the computer and check for terrible things on the internet? More time to sit and wallow in my own obese self-pity? Time is really ticking for me to make this decision and I'm not sure what my choice will be. To quote The Beatles "won't you please, please HELP me?"