Emotional Rescue

Good grief! I am a wreck. Not sure what the straw was that broke the camel's back, but the floodgates have opened and there's no stopping it. And a long dose of "A Baby Story" on TLC is not helping the situation AT ALL. It always gets me when you hear that baby cry for the first time. Ugh. I'm going to be a disaster next week. Sheesh!

It appears that any little thing can set me off. In addition to the heat, exhaustion, uncomfortableness and total and utter irritability that I have been dealing with (not to mention my poor husband, who's had to endure this for almost 10 months - with the emotions hitting the apex only NOW!), this morning I scratched our new car. Yes, you read it right. The same car that we purchased LESS THAN A WEEK AGO. I was overconfidently backing out of our shared driveway and scratched the side of the car along our neighbour's house. Who does that? (I don't want to hear any comments from the peanut gallery about my driving...). Of course, then the tears came. So, I immediately jumped out of the car to check the damage. It didn't look fantastic, but it didn't seem overly terrible either. At least that's what I thought. I took it straight to the body shop down the street to get an estimate, and they basically blew my mind. $1200 worth of damage. There goes the waterworks again...You'd think I had ripped the entire side off the car! Anyway...so much for saving for a rainy day. Looks like I'll be taking donations.

In addition to the repair costs being ridiculous, they say they need to keep the car for 3-4 days in order to repair it. WHEN WILL IT END????? I don't know about you, but the timing couldn't be worse. If I wanted to get it fixed immediately, I would be stuck without a car...stuck at home...all stinkin' week. P.S. - In case you're not aware...I'm having a baby on Wednesday...I can't give up my car. But will I have time to have it in the shop for 3-4 days once the baby has arrived? I'm not convinced of that either. Anyway, not sure what the best course of action is to deal with this, but I feel like such a jerk. My fear now, though, is that I'll be too scared to back out of the driveway again...and be stuck at home, or worse yet, I'll be the lame wife that has to have her husband back her car out of the driveway anytime she wants to go anywhere. I'll have to start a mantra..."I'm not afraid to drive. I'm not afraid to drive"...What have I become?

Anyway, I'm hoping that this is the worst that I will encounter now that I've officially started my maternity leave. It was supposed to be a relaxing couple of days before the little bean arrives, not the exact opposite. So, beginning RIGHT NOW, here's to one week of thoroughly tranquil, tearless and sleep filled days and nights. CHEERS EVERYONE!

Ho Ho Ho...Merry New Baby's Birthday!

Hey! Guess what? It's 4:30 am and I'm up! Surprise, surprise! In the words of John Lennon, "I'm so tired, I haven't slept a wink. I'm so tired, my mind is on the blink". Thankfully there's no one to blame but myself (and the neighbour's cats remain intact...for now). I have a feeling this is going to be a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG day, though, and nap time seems extremely FAR AWAY at this point. Ugh!

This evening I checked off the last thing on my to-do list. Wrapping presents. Why am I wrapping gifts, you ask? Good question. In my constant hunt for things to do while I'm up at 4am, I read somewhere that a toddler sometimes feels a bit left out when a newborn is brought home and people arrive with gifts for the little one, and nothing in tow for the eldest. Obviously the eldest has had his share of gift giving over the past two and a half years, so why would anyone think to bring a prezzie for them when it's a time to welcome a new baby into the family? Well, as the guilt slowly sets in that my attention will be halved when this new beaner arrives in a week and a bit, I wanted to avoid as many hurt feelings as possible. I'm not sure if this will work, but it's one small step for man, right?

I made a trip to the local Dollarama (another fave of mine) to find some tiny gifts to give my toddler if the need arises. In my experience, I've found that Dollarama is one of the better "small gift" places out there. Especially when you have a little boy. They have a plethora of dinky cars, colouring books and puzzles, as well as loads and loads of anything Diego and Cars "The Movie".

So off I went to grab a handful of crap (essentially) and individually wrapped EACH ONE to hand out if the time comes. I got some Sesame Street cups (of the Elmo and Oscar variety), Lightning McQueen magnets, Diego stickers, dinky cars, farm machines, a recorder (which I'm sure I will instantly regret after 10 seconds of honking) and a bunch of other things. I figure even if I don't need them, they'll be good stocking stuffers at Christmas time.

My only issue, now, is feeling like I'm going a bit overboard with the whole thing...I realize that this is going to be a super difficult transition for my little guy. He's had the entire family's attention for a full 29 months and now, in one day, some little bugger is going to come along and steal ALL of the thunder. Not only that, but that little worm is going to come into his house, use all of his old stuff and be attached (at the boob) to his mother for the majority of a year. I can only imagine that a year in the life of a toddler is about 45 years to a normal human being.

And how do most parents deal with the guilt of feeling like they're potentially abandoning their child? They buy their kids gifts OBVIOUSLY (presents = LOVE, no?) What a terrible habit I'm starting. Ugh. In addition to the small gifts that I've bought, the "new baby" has also purchased our son a bribe gift (I can hear me saying it now, "What a nice present your brother/sister bought you. You love the new baby, don't you???? Right???? Please? PLEASE!!!!!!")

We have now invested in a new sand and water table to set up in the backyard (as a hopeful distraction while he gets used to having this new human being around). For some reason I have a feeling this whole rigmarole wasn't done when my Nonna was popping out 7 kids. I'm sure she was like "Here's another brother. Deal with it"...(In Sicilian, of course). Done and done. All of her kids survived but was there jealousy in the house? Did the siblings actually like each other and get along? Good question...and thankfully I wasn't around to see those relationships unfold, but I can't imagine that a shiny new sand table was the key to washing away any sibling rivalry... Either way, this seems like it's a potential sign of what's to come. Will I do anything to keep the peace in this family? Or is it more a matter of trying to buy some extra time until my son can really understand the concept of the sibling "bond"... A mother can dream, right?

Sibling Book Review

May I begin this by saying this post is probably not for you, unless you're expecting your second child. Don't feel bad about not reading it cuz you're not obliged to. I get it and I'm not offended. It wouldn't be my cup of tea either.

If you're still reading, this is what I have for you. After doing some research on how to broach the "new baby" subject with a toddler, most books tell you to wait until there's about a month before the due date and then start talking about how your child will be a big brother/sister. If you tell your child more than 30 days out, you'll get badgered endlessly on when this baby is coming. As I've noticed I do get a couple thousand questions a day with regards to the baby, so I'm quite happy I waited until I did. I probably would've lost my mind had I had to repeat the due date countdown any longer. I can't wait for his "why" stage to fully kick in...EEEEK!

I thought the best way to bring this new change to my child's attention was to continue our evening tradition and read a bedtime story each night, only this time the story would focus on introducing a new baby into the family. I ordered a billion books from Amazon and put another couple thousand on hold from my favourite place, the Toronto Public Library. I skimmed each book before I read them aloud to my little guy, just to be sure of their appropriateness, and now I'm sharing my review of a "couple" of them, in case you're curious, or you are looking for any recommendations. I promise to try and keep each one short, sweet and succinct.

WAITING FOR BABY by Harriet Ziefert

Of all the books I ordered and put on hold, this is my son's FAVOURITE. The pictures are colourful, fun and relatable and the story is fantastic (mostly relatable to me because the mom on the cover is MASSIVE and one page discusses how the son watches the mommy's tummy get BIGGER AND BIGGER AND BIGGER. Something my son knows a heck of a lot about!) It has a little bit of a "Hungry Caterpillar" feel (going through each day of the week), talks about what the child does while he's waiting for the baby to arrive as well as includes a couple of super short songs that, once your child is familiar with them, will sing along to.

BABIES DON'T EAT PIZZA by Dianne Danzig

Meh is my overall review on this guy. This book is designed for kids a little older than my son (as indicated by the subtitle - "A Big Kids' Book About Baby Brothers and Baby Sisters" . I'm not sure why I didn't clue into this before I bought it...I found that the story goes into a little too much detail for my child's attention span. I mean, it explains what a womb is and where it's located, that the baby comes out through an opening between mom's legs (ugh! does my two year old need to know that really?) and all the activities that babies like to do in detail, etc. I also found that there were too many words on the page (again, my son apparently has the attention span of a gnat - which he's obviously inherited from me). I think this book would be fantastic for a child who was in school. Again, my child is obviously not its intended audience.

WAITING FOR BABY - Illustrated by Rachel Fuller

This book is part of the "New Baby" series. I guess they didn't get the memo that another book had already been called "Waiting for Baby"...or maybe they misplaced their thesaurus and couldn't come up with a different title. Nonetheless, this book is actually pretty okay. It's a good, sturdy board book, so my kid can throw it around and turn the pages without me cringing every time he grabs at it. The lines are more questions to start conversations with your child rather than tell a proper story, which is a bit cool. It's fun to hear what your toddler thinks about what's going on in your tummy.

MY NEW BABY - Illustrated by Rachel Fuller

Also part of the "New Baby" series. This book is a great continuation on what happens once this baby pops outta mom's belly and moves into the house. Again, it opens up dialogue between parent and child and hopefully answers some questions or at least sheds some light on what might happen when the new baby arrives.

I'M A BIG BROTHER - Joanna Cole

This one happens to be my favourite of the bunch, but of course, my opinion is generally not asked in this household when it comes to choosing stories, so we rarely read this one. Again, this story focuses on what happens after the baby arrives at the house and all the things that a big brother can do with the new baby. I REALLY like that it mentions being gentle (as my son's version of gentle and the general population's are two very different things - ask my poor cat!). This book also comes in the "I'm a Big Sister" version for those who have girls.

HELLO, NEW BABY! - Illustrated by Hideko Takahasi

This was a $1 jobbie that I picked up at Target when I was in Buffalo last year. Total impulse buy. I guess you get what you pay for, right? It's more of a story about how a big brother plays with his younger brother. It isn't really a book to "prepare" a child for a new baby...just a tale about two bros. Whatevs. Next book!

WHAT A GOOD BIG BROTHER - by Diane Wright Landolf

The cover is freaking you out, right? Cuz it's freaking me out too. Not sure how I bought it, cuz I'm the sort of person that TOTALLY judges a book by it's cover. The dude's ears are unreal and it looks like he's about to bite off one of those toes. Once you open the book, the images are a bit...um...odd...like page after page of decoupage with a couple of soft focus illustrations thrown in the mix. The story itself is nice enough...about a big brother who helps his family when his new baby sister arrives...but again, I've read it once, cuz I just couldn't get past the pix.

~

Now don't get me wrong. My kid still has no clue what's in store for him in two weeks time...but at least he's getting the idea that other kids have baby brothers and sisters and the world doesn't end when they come home...whether it ends when our baby comes home is another story.

So, if you're expecting your second and you need some books to break your eldest in, let me know. I won't be needing any of these books after the next few weeks and would be happy to get them the hell outta my house. Maybe I should start my own crappy kids book swap? Million dollar idea? Perhaps!



Lastly, I just wanted to send a quick shout out to Tricia, Kyle and Emma. Congratulations on the birth of your baby boy! I can't wait to see pictures. Please fill me in on how life is going from one to two! Good luck!

Where There's A Will...There's A Will.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, there are officially a lucky 13 days left until B-Day. The more I get accomplished the more time I have to think about things. The more time I have to think about things, the more I dwell on things that probably aren't necessary to dwell on. Luckily I've been having some good night's sleeps over the past few days, so I haven't spent endless hours lingering on what could be. Lately my thoughts have been on the c-section and what would happen if things went awry. Again, the likelihood of this happening is slim to none, but being a responsible human being (and former Pathfinder - if you don't know what a Pathfinder is, you're not missing anything - think Girl Guides but OLDER - Yes, I'm a loser!), one most always be prepared.

My husband and I created wills before our son was born. I'm not sure how many of you out there have done this yourselves, but it definitely gets you thinking about some strange stuff. Of course, it's not a big deal when you're married, because all of the important decisions, like, who can pull the plug, who gets custody of the children, who gets all the money (a.k.a. debt), gets passed on to the living spouse. BUT when you're creating the will, you also have to think about what would happen IF something terrible were to happen and you and your partner died at the same time. That's when things get a bit precarious. You really have to put your mind to work and figure out who is best to make those important decisions in life when they really count (and when you're not around to watch their every move!)

This is especially hard when there are children involved. As a parent, you always want what's best for your kids. So how does one choose out of the plethora of people they know, who is best designed to care for your offspring??? Of course, grandparents are obvious first choices...but you can never guarantee how long they will be around, and if they'd even be ABLE to care for your children after a certain point. My father, though probably not the best example for a MULTITUDE of reasons, is already 62, so, if my husband and I were to croak in 10 years, I'm sure he wouldn't be the best candidate to watch over a 12 and 10 year old. Call me crazy (and if I left my kids to my dad, you would...TRUST ME).

Siblings are another choice, but they too can be a bit iffy. If I died tomorrow, I'm most likely NOT to leave my kids in the care of my sixteen year old sister...no offense! I've heard of how she handled her "fake" parenting class baby...and that's a clear indication that I don't even want her to babysit my children.

Of course, then there are friends...but then you wonder, do they even want that added responsibility? They may be single, or have a family of their own. Blech!

So, as my major surgery approaches, I find myself thinking about updating my will. I don't even have a copy in the house to refer to (perhaps an example of how responsible I REALLY am...), so last week, I called my lawyer to find out if I had specified my son in particular in my will, or rather, "children" in general. I'm still waiting to get the call back. I've left a number of messages at his office to no avail. You'd think that my lawyer would be chomping at the bit for me to add another line to the document. KA-CHING! I'm sure 5 minutes of his time would cost me $400. Easy money. I guess he's not that desperate.

I know it's technically not relevant, as it's only me going under the knife, and my husband SHOULD remain alive, barring he doesn't get tangled up in the operating utensils, but it's always soothing to know that all my ducks are in a row JUST IN CASE something were to happen.

Okay, who brought Debbie Downer to the party, right? Jeebs. I apologize. On to better things!

I have, thus far, avoided all things G20, which is totally rad. I had my second last OB appointment yesterday, and YES...I gained ANOTHER 2 pounds! I am officially obese. It has gotten completely out of hand. Thankfully there are only a couple weeks left to go or TLC could be calling me up to ask permission to film me on their next 1,000 lb woman episode. I'm looking forward to the coming week, where I will finish work and have a WHOLE DAY to do whatever I want. I'm thinking I might catch a movie, although, it's Canada Day, and I can't imagine that it's going to be very quiet...

And finally, my husband is on his way home with our new car. I'm so stoked to actually test drive this beast, and hope that we can squeeze it in between the two houses (as we share our driveway with our neighbours and the space is about as big as a sliver). Try not to be jealous when you see me cruising in it....If you play your cards right, I might leave it to you in my will...

Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman Scorched

Okay...so this is a stretch. My body certainly doesn't look like the above... (rather more like the below)

...but I feel like I'm on FIRE. Maybe it's just me...but it's bloody hot out there! In addition to genetics dealing me the overactive sweat gland card (as witnessed by anyone who has seen my father in the summertime - He looks like Kevin Garnett after 5 minutes of game play),

I'm sure it doesn't help that my body is in fluid retention mode and I'm almost 40 pounds heavier than I was a year ago, but I sweat when I even THINK about going outside. My husband, who is normally the A/C nazi, has given me a pass these past few days as I can barely breath. We have our ductless air conditioner on full blast, morning, noon and night and still, when I wake up for my 3am pee, I have to peel my PJs off because they're basically soaked through. I know, the visuals just get better and better don't they?

I'm trying my best to find alternate ways to keep cool. I've been attempting different BBQ recipes so that I can avoid having a boiling hot stove on in the house to cook dinner. Because I'm vegetarian, meat grilling was never very high on my list of cooking priorities, so I'm on a slight learning curve (and I apologize every night to my husband for fear that I'm serving him either heavily leathered and cured pieces of chicken, or straight-up salmonella on a plate). He's lived this long, so I guess it can't be that bad right? We, as a family, are also huge proponents of keeping each side of the house cool when the sun is beating down. So, in the morning, the front is pitch black, and in the afternoon, the back. It certainly makes for a rather dim life on the inside, but it definitely keeps us cool. My father has also provided us with a fantastic gift (though initially I thought it was totally lame)... He showed up one day with a canopied swing for the backyard. I originally felt bad that he went to the trouble of dragging it up to our house and putting it out back, so my husband and I decided to set it up just for kicks. We shoved it in the shady part (in hopes of hiding it and forgetting about it), but now I'm finding myself spending most of the afternoon whaled out on it while my son is playing.

Needless to say, these steps have only mildly prevented me from melting away into oblivion, so I'd better prep myself for the next few weeks. The forecast is looking pretty grim for a woman of my girth. Hot, hazy and humid, with a thunderstorm or two thrown in the mix. Should be a good time for all! Especially when one has a toddler that demands outdoor running around time! I'll have to do some research on local splash pads cuz I'm not sure I can take it.

I'm pleased to say, however, that in the midst of this blazin' heat, I've been able to knock off a few things from my to-do list this week, which has been a bit of a relief. A friend of mine has kindly lent me some 0-3 month unisex sleepers so that I can finish packing my hospital bag, newborn diapers have been purchased, I've done most of the laundry, email birth announcement list has been compiled (apologies in advance to those I've missed... it wasn't intentional, I just have pregnancy brain) and the biggest check of all, is ... WAIT FOR IT...that we bought A NEW CAR!!!!!!! (said in the Rod Roddy voice)

Though we don't have the car yet, the paperwork has been signed and we should be getting a call from the dealership any day now letting us know that it's ready for pick up! Woot woot! After that, we just have to install the car seats and we're ready to get this baby (car and fetus) rollin'.

I'm sending a cool breeze and cold shower shout out to all my pregnant lady friends out there! Trish, Nicole, Adrienne, Maria...I hope you're all coping a little better than me in this weather!

Who's Your Daddy?

This post is dedicated to the best Dad in the world...my husband!

It wasn't until I met HIM that I wanted kids. I've always been the classic only child. Everything was about me. I didn't think I'd be a particularly good mom either, but that hasn't changed much. When I realized I was in love with my dearest, I knew that he would be a fantastic father. Witnessing him with his family was proof enough. His mom and dad are both extremely warm, loving and kind people who have passed those traits on to both of their sons. Seeing this perfect family convinced me that it would be a sin not to procreate.

When I found out that I was pregnant with my little guy, I was a wee bit scared. I left the pee-stick in the bathroom so that the Huz would find it when he got ready for work. I'm not sure he really got it when he saw it, so after a little clarification, we celebrated (...and panicked a little...)

When our son was born, Super Dad kicked into action. Even without ANY experience with babies, he fell into it like he had been doing it forever. He was a natural (like I knew he'd be) and hasn't disappointed me yet!

He has been my saviour (during colic - walking endlessly up and down stairs when I needed a break), coming home early to save me from myself (after a full day of crying - both me and the baby), and giving me much needed breaks with swimming lessons and weekend playgroups, bike rides and park escapades (especially necessary during this pregancy). It's so satisfying to see the joy in my son's eyes every night when my husband gets home from work. He's invested so much time in our little one's short life that the "Daddy Love" is SO obvious!

With only two and a half weeks to go, I know that my little family will weather the new baby storm without too much issue. My husband will be by my side giving me endless support and help. During the first month I will have him to lean on 24 hours a day, 7 days a week because his company has graciously provided him with a month's paternity leave. It will be the perfect time for us to get to know the little one together as a new family of 4.

Though his babysitter skills are sometimes lacking...

... I'm so thankful to have the best "life-partner" in crime and couldn't have picked a more perfect dad for my kids. Happy Father's Day, Stinks! Love you lots! xoxoxoxo

House of Ill....Preparedness?

Earlier on I was bragging about how, because this is my second time around the baby bend, I wasn't getting my knickers in a knot about getting stuff ready for the little bean. Two and a half years ago when I was one month away from my due date this is what was already done:

* Baby room set up

* New car purchased

* Car seat installed

* Hospital bag packed and in car

* Baby's clothes purchased, laundered and in designated drawers

* Diapers bought

* Email list compiled and grouped (ready to send birth announcement)

Obviously I HAD a problem. I'm MILDLY anal retentive when it comes to lists and organization and generally speaking I like to think of myself as a pretty orderly and thorough person.

Well, it appears that along with many of my other skills (including being neat, clean and hygienic) my organizational skills have gone down the toilet. On the above checklist, this time with only 3 weeks to my scheduled c-section, I have accomplished...NIL.

I suppose in the grand scheme of things, it's not that big a deal. I still have 21 days to accomplish all of the above, right? Well, that's what I thought until I made my weekly visit to the OB this morning. The doc checked the usual: blood pressure, heart beat and fundal height and when she asked if I had any concerns I mentioned to her that I felt like I was balancing an inexplicably heavy bowling ball on the tip of my cervix and it was uncomfortable to walk (to say the least). I asked if she thought the baby was really low. She proceeded to explain to me that with consecutive pregnancies, the mom tends to feel like the baby is about to fall out at any moment. Then she checked the baby's placement in my uterus...and instantly retracted her statement. "Yes," she said, "It's no wonder you feel like the baby is going to fall out. That thing is REALLY low"...So that explains why I'm in so much pain and why I feel like this:

(not to mention the fact that I've gained an obnoxious 4 POUNDS this week - and didn't even have my Zia's cookies to blame this time!!!! Don't tell Gisele! She would be so disappointed!)

I digress...The last thing my OB said to me was "If you go into labour before I see you next week, tell them that you need a c-section". Wait a minute...did I just hear what I think I heard? Did she just say "IF YOU GO INTO LABOUR BEFORE NEXT WEEK" ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? Cuz, that's not an option. I have a stinkin' scheduled c-section. Did NO ONE give this fetus the memo??? Hello, baby. You are ORDERED to stay in the womb for the next 3 weeks. I'm SO NOT READY FOR YOU!!!

You can understand, now, that I feel a sense of urgency in getting the above matters together sooner than later. If this baby were to come any earlier than the expected 21 days it would be sleeping in a storage closet, on a naked plastic covered mattress in its birthday suit. I would also have no underwear or a toothbrush to take to the hospital and we couldn't bring the baby home because the car seat is still collecting dust in the basement and our "new" car hasn't even been found yet...YIKES!!!! Perhaps now is the time to get my panties in a bunch? Thankfully, a package of diapers was dropped off by some wonderful neighbours this afternoon, so at least I can cross those off the list. Sure they're a size 1...so they might be falling off the little one, but it's better than nothing, right? Either way, I'm not sure how ahead of the game that puts me but I think I'm still feeling like I'm falling a LITTLE bit short here.

My mission this week (yes, I realize that it's already Wednesday and the week is ALMOST over) is to:

* Find a car and buy it

* Dust off and install the car seat (as well as dust off/launder all baby accessories, including baby swing, Bjorn, playpen/bassinet, tummy time pad, nursing pillow, blah, blah, blah...)

* Disinfect, clean and wash all things in the nursery

* Wash baby clothes and put them in designated drawers

* Pack a hospital bag

* Compile new email list

Piece of cake, right? Sure! NO PRESSURE. I'm getting a tick just looking at this list, and I'm sure, rather than getting shorter, this tally is going to get longer and longer as the days go by. I know that if I tempt fate and procrastinate any longer, the baby will decide that it's birthday time. If I get all of the above accomplished the baby will wait until the last minute...It's a crap shoot really...Should I roll the dice?