Feliz Navidad and more importantly Feliz Cumpleaños

Good Lord. I'm pretty sure Santa is testing me this week. Now, I realize I'm spoiled, but c'mon...TWO KIDS ALL WEEK LONG? No nursery school. No Nana. No nothing. Just kids all day long. How and why do you do it ladies???????????? Needless to say, the coal I get in my stocking better turn into a diamond with all the pressure I'm dealing with...hint, hint!

This week I've tried to cram as many activities as I can just to keep my kids active, busy and my mind clear of chaos, but as I've hit hump day, the weekend can't come soon enough!!!!!!!!!

As the holidays are growing nearer and nearer, I've been thinking about another party that's coming soon. The party to celebrate my little boy turning 3. Now, I vowed to not have a proper "friends" party for him until he could fully enjoy himself and the atmosphere because it really does cost an arm and a leg to put one of these things on! So, I've travelled high/low/far and wide to track down the perfect venue (and I thank my ladies NS and NJ and their kids for coming along for a test drive). Honestly, it's not an easy feat trying to find a great space to have a party. My poor kid is saddled with the tragic winter birthday, so we can't have any backyard parties (and our house is the size of a normal person's dog house)...so reality set in...we gotta get outta dodge and find a place that can handled a handful of screaming preschoolers. I did some research on the internet and came up with a handful in the area (and some a little outside our area).

Who knew that narrowing down the field was going to be so hard??? Honestly what does a three year old need, right? Well, let me tell you what they need (aka - here's my criteria:)

1) Climbing Apparatus

Now this gets a little complicated, because, although MOST places that I've visited had an apparatus, not all have an appropriate apparatus for a three year old. Some apparati (?) are a little complex/scary/tall for the average bear. And let me tell you. NO PARENT wants to climb three stories up a tight tube to get their kid down because they're too scared to go any further

2) Bouncy Castle

The most precarious of the indoor playground equipment. Kids get in there and they fall on each other, knock out each other's teeth, bash heads, etc. A recipe for disaster, you'd think? Well, you're wrong. Your party is a bust unless there's a bouncy castle. Make sure you have 9-1-1 on speed dial

3) Ample Parking

(I'd hate to be the guy in the middle of that one...)

There are a lot of indoor playgrounds in the downtown core, but finding parking downtown is like finding a needle in a haystack. And trust me, lugging two kids (one in a car seat that weighs a thousand pounds), plus backpack, plus gift, plus whatever else one needs is a hassle. The closer you can get to the venue the better in my opinion

4) Stuff For Babies

I realize that it's a party for a three year old, but this three year old has a 6 month old sister, and there are lots of my three year old's friends' parents that are also in the same situation as me. It's nice to be able to accommodate both kids so that everyone has a good time, right?

4) Privacy

So, here's the deal. It's nice to have the place to yourself, right? No one wants some wild child that you don't know coming in and spreading their germs, biting, hitting, punching, etc. It's hard enough wrangling the kids you like at a party, nonetheless trying to referee someone else's menace. But if you want the facility to yourself, you have to pay a premium

5) Last, but definitely most important...

THE BENJAMINS

This crap costs a ton of money. Like honestly? Forget the party. I'm gonna save my cash and go on vacation for Cripes sakes! These places are ready to take your money and when I say take your money, I mean, they're gonna take your money for EVERYTHING. Paper plates/cutlery/juice...good god! There's no end to the tally!

Now, truthfully, it's not so much about the kids, but rather about the parents. You don't want to pick a ghetto place where the parents will talk behind your back about how lame the joint is. You also don't want to pick a place that's been done before (because you don't want to be copying someone else's idea) and you don't want it to be an inconvenience to anyone with regards to location, because the reality is, is that it's the parents that have to drag their kids out. In the real world, I'm sure the kids would have a blast in a cardboard box...

So last week, I thought I'd found the perfect place. It was in a reasonable spot, with ample parking. It had a climbing apparatus AND a bouncy castle and the price was right. When we got there it was clean and great, had a nice animal motif. The woman who was working there had her toddler with her, who was fearlessly climbing around without issue. THEN HE BARFED. ALL OVER EVERYTHING.... So much for avoiding the flu virus. Okay, it's a little barf. Nothing a little Lysol can't clean up...but I think the vomit tainted the experience a little bit. And my friend said she wasn't keen on the place either. Scratch that guy off the list. I think I was just desperate to make a decision.

So, it's down to two. One place with ONLY a bouncy castle and one place with ONLY a climbing apparatus...the rest are completely out of my price range (I'm NOT spending $550 for a 3 year old's birthday party - NOT INCLUDING GIFTS!). So, this week the final decision will be made. I'm hoping NJ will give me the go-ahead on the best of the two venues and then I have to make the dreaded deposit...

BUT, if you're an indoor playground expert, please let me know if you have any great spots that I might have missed!

And, to all of you who are celebrating the upcoming holiday, MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! May your holidays be as stress free as possible and filled with many arms to help you!

Oops I Did It Again...??????

Because my kids have decided to boycott sleep this past week. I've spent a lot of time awake in my bed thinking. And Lord knows that when you spend an inordinate amount of time thinking, one ends up conjuring up RIDICULOUS scenarios in their head.

One night, very late into the wee hours, I felt an odd fluttering in my tummy. One that made me think back to what seems like EONS ago when I felt the first butterflies of my little fetuses (or is it feti?) flubbering around in my ENORMOUSLY HUGE gut. Once I got that vision in my head I couldn't get it out. What if I was pregnant???? I starting thinking about why I was feeling so terribly tired these past few days...and crap, didn't I feel a bit nauseous on Friday in the morning when I woke up? Maybe I was being so monstrous this past week because my hormones were all outta whack? Is that why I didn't lose any weight this past week? Am I going to have to change the name of my blog???

And more importantly, will I have the dreaded toilet baby because I think I've gotta take a crap, but really I'm in labour????

OH NO! WHAT HAVE WE DONE????????????????????????

Then I started thinking about what would happen if I really was pregnant. I'm having a difficult enough time with two. Imagine throwing another one in the mix...If I was truly pregnant and I was feeling it move, I was probably just into my second trimester, which means the baby would be coming in another 5 1/2 months. I knew that stinkin' 6 week gynecological check up was going to be the death of me. If this new baby was that far along, my little girl would not even be a year old when this new one came. My pulse started racing. My breathing starting to quicken...and I started feeling sick to my stomach...wait a minute...maybe that was morning sickness..........

WHY DIDN'T I GET MY TUBES TIED WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE????????????????

Then I got up, rocked my little girl back to sleep, took a deep breath and really analyzed the situation. Okay, dude. Let's think rationally... you had broccoli and cauliflower for dinner (a recipe for gas), you're tired because you have had 13 hours sleep in the past 6 days (which also explains the irrational thinking), you feel sick to your stomach because you're overtired and you've gained weight because you've been eating pound cake and chips and dip at a breakneck pace. Good grief! Get that silly thought out of your head!

But really, how does a nursing mom know if she's pregnant? What are the tell tale signs???? It's no wonder there are countless episodes of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant". Wait a minute. Don't tell me. I don't need my mind to go off the rails again after I've talked myself off that ledge.

So, I crossed "pregnancy test" off my shopping list and let out a big sigh of relief. I'm just being a lunatic. If I pretend it's not happening, it won't right???????

Is He Just A Jealous Guy?

Good grief. One would think that as your child gets older and more independent, they become a little less difficult to deal with...That's obviously not the case in my house. My child is giving me trouble like it was his middle name.

I can't say when this behaviour started, but it's clearly more than just a phase (or at least I think that's the case). My son has always been ultra sensitive to sound. When we brought him home from the hospital, he used to scream if I sneezed while nursing him. He gets upset if someone with a deep voice speaks to him. If someone laughs loudly he has a fit. A dog barking drives him to tears (even if the dog is in a yard on another street). Nursery school is also starting to become a point of anxiety for him because one of the kid's in his class still cries when he's being dropped off. This child's crying has become contagious, and my Melancholy Pauly (as we like to call him) has taken it upon himself to not let that kid feel left out. Once the crying starts, it's extremely difficult to stop.

My son is also starting to find things extremely "SCARY". I'm not 100% sure he has a grasp on the true meaning of the word, but things he's read or watched a million times without issue are now debilitating frightening to him. And it's not like I'm letting him watch the Texas Chainsaw Massacre...I'm talking about Elmo's World and Toy Story...

In addition to this sensitivity, my son has moved himself into Tantrum City, where's he elected himself Mayor. If my daughter screams, he has to scream. If he doesn't get his way he's throwing toys and hitting the walls, himself and me.

There are so many reasons why he MAY be doing this...but it's proving difficult to actually pinpoint the cause.

1) He is a "spirited" child. GAWD. This term is one of my pet peeves. When did it become politically incorrect to say that your kid is a handful? Like other parents don't get it? Are you a bad mom or dad if your kid is a whirling dervish? Why can't you just call a spade a spade and say your kid acts like a brat sometimes? Why do we have to make a silly, flowery sounding nickname for it? Well, my child is showing his true colours. He has always been a "sensitive" guy so it's in his nature, but is this the only reason he's giving me grief?

2) He is not the only child any more. Okay, it's been five months since we brought our little lady home from the hospital. Is my son only NOW realizing that this kid isn't going back to the hospital? Our attention could now be spread a little too thin for his liking...so he's acting up in hopes that any attention (even if it's bad attention) is better than no attention at all. Has he now decided to put his foot down and make a statement?

3) He has a mental issue. Okay, this is probably the least likely of the reasons...but there is always that potential that maybe my kid is following in the footsteps of Steve Martin's character's eldest child in the film Parenthood. You remember that kid right? The one who had a nervous breakdown when someone looked in his direction? Is that my kid? Sir Anxious-A-Lot?

4) He's two and this is what the terrible twos are about.

5) And the most likely of them all...it's a combination of all of the above.

I'm a firm believer in nipping naughty behaviour in the bud. I've tried reasoning with him, but really...he's just a preschooler, does he get it? I've tried the naughty chair, I've tried acknowledging his feelings, I've tried ignoring his feelings. I've tried distracting him and I've tried removing myself from the tantrum. I'm not sure what else there is to be done????

Now, don't get me wrong. My kid has a heart of gold, and there are many times when it's a complete and utter joy to hang out with him. When he's having a good day, he's a blast. He's smart, hilariously funny and very imaginative. I don't want to sound like I'm down on him, because I love him desperately, but as most mother's know...even the easiest child is a terror on a bad day.

So, this could all just be a phase that he outgrows, but I have to figure out a way to maintain my composure after being tested time and time again. A woman can only be slapped across the face so many times without losing her composure. My patience is growing thin as you can well imagine, and it's extremely difficult to devote one-on-one time to him when our time together is spent butting heads. I'm hoping that there are veteran moms out there that can shed some light on the situation and give me advice on how to not turn into a trantrumming 3o something....

Upon the suggestion of a couple of moms out there, I've taken him to a doctor to see if it might be a hearing issue that is rendering him so sensitive to sound. The pediatrician has assured me that it isn't the case with my son, and rather it's more than likely either a means to get attention or it's a behavioural issue. She's recommended that I read a book called "The Spirited Child" (HONESTLY???? I HATE THE BOOK ON PRINCIPAL AT THIS POINT) and has sent a referral out to an anxiety clinic at Sick Kids. She's also suggested looking into a pediatrician that specializes in behavioural issues, just to pinpoint the problem.

I feel like I'm totally overanalyzing this whole situation and maybe I'm being extreme. But my fear is that if we don't figure out the problems now, they will only escalate and if my 3 year old is melancholy now, who knows what he'll be like once he discovers Morrissey as a teenager...UGH!

I'm hoping that the lessons learned during this stage will help to prepare me for the days to come. They will, right? It's gonna get easier, right? C'mon

I'm writing this really small in hopes that you can't read it. The week has been terrible. I blame it completely on the stress I've been dealing with...I've gained some weight this week...ugh. And the holidays haven't even started yet.

This week I weight 139.8 lbs. Tragic.

All For Moms and Moms For All!

Why is it that mothers who feed their babies formula (whether it be for every feed or just supplementing) feel like they have to justify their choice? I feel like when I'm in the company of other women with infants they feel the need to explain why they're pulling out the bottle and the powder. I'm 100% positive that it's not just me they spill their story to. Why is it that in this day in age, a full grown woman can't feel assured that their choice is exactly that. THEIR OWN! Now, don't get all high and mighty on me...I totally understand the benefits of breastmilk. My first child was breastfed exclusively until he was 7 months old, and then I had to supplement because he got distracted by a particle of dust flying through the air and couldn't sit still long enough to empty a boob. I have friends who exclusively breastfeed their children, I have friends that do half and half, I have friends who just top up with formula and I have friends who rely solely on that tin can. I find, though, that because I breastfeed my kids (thankfully only one kid at present...), women feel that they need to explain why they're giving their own child formula.

I know there are people out there that are crazy militant breast feeding mommas (and kudos to you - because I get it! Breastmilk RULES!)

But really?...WHO CARES????

Is one child weaker than the other? Is one child smarter than the other? Is one child more sickly than another? HELLZ NO! I am a perfect example of this. When I was born, it was fashionable to feed your baby formula. All the cool moms were doing it. Breastfeeding was SO 1960s. Now, in hindsight, did I pay the price for that terrible powder? Do I have a low I.Q? Last time I checked it was in the 130s (and I don't need any comments from the peanut gallery...). Have I ever had a serious illness? Never. I've never been hospitalized, and have always been in exceptional health. My blood work is impeccable. And can you believe it? I'm still alive?? GASP! I know. It's hard to believe! I can hear good ol' Gisele tisk tisking me already, cuz you know...Breastfeeding, in her opinion, should be THE LAW!



My son, as I mentioned before....was breastfed exclusively until he was seven months old. He has, as you know, MANY intolerances to food and suffers from mild eczema. Now my son is also a genius (okay, so I'm a little biased...)...Is it because he got the liquid gold when he was a baby? Or perhaps it's genetic? WHO KNOWS???? I do know this, though. There is research out there that shows that infants benefit from breastmilk. ALL MOMS KNOW THIS INFORMATION. And when you take your prenatal courses, they tell you that. AND when you're bringing your baby into this world, the nurses reiterate this information to you. But I can tell you this - Most moms are adults. And can make choices on their own without feeling the wrath of the public.



Now, I don't know about you, but I'm not Kreskin. I can't magically understand every woman's choice. I can't read all mothers' minds. And I most certainly don't know the reasoning behind someone's personal choice when it comes to feeding their child. Who knows if the mother with the formula has a medical condition, has had breast surgery or is on medication. That mother may have tried and tried and tried and tried and tried to breastfeed but they couldn't produce milk, or heck...maybe they just chose the formula route because they weren't comfortable with breastfeeding. I can tell you this. All women who feed their child formula feel mildly stigmatized for doing so. And because of this feel the need to constantly inform those leering eyes why they made their choice.


Whatever the reason, is it really up to us to judge? Isn't it hard enough to be a parent? Don't we all feel guilty with the choices we make...being too strict, being too lenient, giving our kids candy, or convenience food, making food from scratch vs. jarred, the list goes on and on AND on...Do we really need to start off our journey to parenthood feeling like we have to justify everything??

Now, if you're like me, when you're a "non-parent" you create a mental list of things you'll NEVER do when you have kids. I guarantee that by the end of year one as a mommy or daddy, you've done many-a-thing on that stinkin' list AT LEAST ONE TIME. As a mother, we should help our fellow parents out. Give them advice (BUT ONLY IF THEY ASK) and accept everyone's choices, whether you follow them yourself or not. We are all gonna fall off that perfect parent horse at some point, and let's hope that we have other parents out there who will help us brush the dust off us and get back on that stallion.

So, for all of my friends out there who have chosen the bottle over the breast (for whatever reason)...ladies (and gentlemen) you have to do what's best for your family. And no one knows what's best for that group except for you. I say this as I prepare myself for some nasty hate-mail....ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE??? LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED?

PS - I weigh 139.4 lbs. Phew! What a relief.

The Politics Of Motherhood

Ah...they warned me. They really did! But it's taken THIS long for me to fully understand what they meant. Maybe it's because I'm not the most social person in the world and I HATE socializing with people, for the most part, so my exposure to other mothers is limited to friends whose company I enjoy. But as my son gets older and interacts more with kids in the neighbourhood, at the playground, at school and out and about, I'm slowly learning how to bite my tongue...sometimes...

Here's an example: over the past few weeks my children and I have been on an indoor playground adventure, which entails carting my poor kids from place to place all in search of finding the perfect venue for my son's third birthday party...ANOTHER STORY ENTIRELY...Now, at the last locale there were a handful of different families, moms chatting to other moms and kids running wild. Well...what would I expect, right? That's the whole purpose of an indoor playground...SHEESH! So, my son starts ripping around the place, going from bouncy castle to climbing apparatus to slide and back again. " I love this!" I think to myself, "My kid is burning off energy in a safe place. WICKED!". Then a little boy runs up to him and asks him his name. "This is amazing!" I thought, "Not only is my dude getting some exercise, but he's making friends too! This was a great idea on my part! Kudos to me!" So, my son and this little boy, who tells me he's almost four, start running after each other, and climb into the bouncy castle. I stand back and watch in awe. The older kid turns from angel into devil in a mere moment, and essentially clotheslines my guy. He then climbs on top of him like he's in the WWF (yes, I know, I'm old school. It will never be the WWE to me...get over it!). I watch to see how my kid deals with it...but he just stares at me wide eyed and starts to cry. Granted, my kid is ULTRA SENSITIVE, and cries at the drop of a hat, whether it be a loud noise, a dog barking or mean look. Again, a completely different story to be saved for another day. So, I stepped in and said "Bubz, if you don't like to be jumped on, just say "No Thank You."" What could I really do? It's not my responsibility to discipline someone else's kid, right?

So, my son got over it and they started chasing each other around again. Then the kid tripped mine on the bridge on the climbing apparatus. My guy said "No pushing". "Okay," I thought, "He's asserting himself". I continue to follow because this is seemingly turning into a bit of a bully match. Then my dude picks up a basketball to throw it in a small net. The other kid grabs the ball out of his hands and whips it at my son's head. Now I'm starting to get angry. My kid isn't there as a punching bag for some mangy four year old. I look around to find his mother to see if she's going to start disciplining her kid...but of course, she's NOWHERE TO BE SEEN. So, now I'm on a mission. I have a child who's bawling and a four month old clinging for her life and I'm marching around like a bat outta hell around trying to find this negligent mother. I could hardly believe my eyes. She was actually in a completely other room socializing with another mother. And when I say another room, I mean a room with a door and zero visibility into the adjacent playroom. Her kid could be trapped in between to rocks chewing his arm off at this point and she would have NO CLUE. Before I fly into the room I stop myself...and actually think about what I'm about to do. What are my options 1) Forget the mom and tell the kid off directly 2) Leave the playground 3) Be a tattletale to the kid's mom or, if you know me, the more likely of all my options 4) Put a curse on the kid and beat up the mom...

I figured the most appropriate of my choices was to tell the kid, in as nicely a way as I could muster, that it wasn't nice to push or hit other kids. Mostly because I was afraid to speak to the mom directly...yes, I'm chicken. I'm all bark with ZERO bite. Anyway, the kid looked at me like I was speaking Hungarian. So, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I pulled my son off to the side and said "If that kid hits you again, hit him back". GASP! Oh no I didn't. Um, oh yes I did! I am so tired of kids getting away with that kind of behaviour. If my child EVER pushed, hit, or bullied another kid, you were be sure that I would be on him like white on rice. Although in my mind I love that kind of behaviour, in reality I do NOT tolerate that kind of behaviour. Perhaps I'm overly strict, but I want to be sure that my child understands that a kind person is the best kind of person. (One day I'll heed my own advice....ONE DAY....) I'm sure there have been many an occasion where my child has hit or pushed another, and if I did not act, it was because I didn't see it. PLEASE always let me know if my child steps out of line OR feel free to discipline him...


Now, because I'm not familiar with these situations, I'm not sure how to broach that kind of subject with another child's mother. I also lack the "think before you speak" filter which inevitably gets me in trouble. And Lord knows that mothers get UBER defensive about their kids. There are mothers out there that feel the only person who should discipline their child is THEM. Fair enough. I get it. I also imagine that there are mothers out there who wouldn't take kindly to having their child's bad behaviour pointed out to them. Again, to each his own, right? I have also witnessed mothers who have varying ideas of what discipline is. And then there are those who believe you have to let your child express his or herself in whatever manner they choose. THIS I DON'T GET. And this is where the politics come in...what's a mother to do? When is it considered crossing the line? What's the proper etiquette in these kinds of situations???? What do YOU do in these sorts of situations? Is there a different way to speak to someone you know and see often versus someone who you'll never see again? I need advice, as I gather this mother to mother interaction is only going to become more frequent as the years go on...Before I get all rageorific, S-O-S!



Now, I know I've taken some liberties in my weight loss challenge. Like, I decided that last week, I should NOT weigh myself...for fear of what the scale would read. So it's been SEVERAL weeks since my last weigh-in and I've definitely not been paying much attention to what I eat or how much I've been exercising. Yeah, yeah...You've heard it all before. here's the deal:

Starting Weight: 148.8 lbs

Last Weight: 142.4 lbs

This Week: 140.8 lbs

Goal Weight: 130 lbs

Dream Weight: 125 lbs

Will this coming week be the week that I actually break into the 130s???? I'm not holding my breath, but there is that SLIGHT possibility, right?

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's Off To The Hospital We Go...

Yesterday was quite possibly the worst day of my life. It started off great. I got lots of work done around the house: laundry, painting... but it all went down hill very quickly. We were expecting some friends over for dinner and when our first guest arrived (after a long flight across the country) our eldest decided to show off by jumping on the couch. I'm sure you can see where this is going already, right? Granted, it was totally my fault, because in preparation for our guests, I moved my son's naughty chair from it's designated corner in the dining room, to an empty space conveniently next to the couch. Easy access, right? I didn't even think about the damage that might ensue. Anyway, after several warnings to my son to be careful on the couch, I tended to our guest. As soon as I turned my back away I heard a THUMP and a cry.

My son was on this back (on the hardwood, of course) screaming. I immediately ran and picked him up and put him on my lap. I wanted to see if he was bleeding or bruised anywhere. My son is a BIG head bonker. He does it all the time without issue. This time, however, it was very different. As soon as I picked my son up, his body tensed, he made a low groan, and then started to have a seizure. I immediately screamed for my husband to call 9-1-1...and he approached me (this part I don't remember...) and as he approached me to find out what happened, I wound my arm up to slap him. I guess he wasn't calling 9-1-1 fasted enough and I felt I needed to slap some sense into him??? By the time my husband had made his way over to us, my son has stopped "seizing", and was conscious, but definitely out of sorts. The ambulance came shortly thereafter and did a preliminary scan, making sure he didn't have any neck or back injuries. Then they said, "we're gonna have to take him to the hospital just to be sure everything is okay".

Now, this is not my son's first trip to the emergency room. When he was four months old, he flung himself off the change table and again, landed on the hard wood. I knew the drill. Head injury = emergency room. My son was, at first, a little skeptical about the trip in the ambulance. The attendants strapped his car seat on to the gurney in the back and kept a close watch on my son as we made the trip to the hospital. No siren, much to my son's chagrin. Thankfully, as we left our guests behind at our house, the trip to the emergency room was extremely short and painless. The doctor checked for internal bleeding and any bumps - neither which he had and said that he was good to go. I guess he thought the concussion was mild, so I wouldn't need to wake him up every couple of hours in the middle of the night and that was that.

My son was most perturbed that the ambulance wasn't going to take him back to his house and he had to be schlepped back home in our stinky ol' car but all that really mattered was that he was okay. There's nothing more scary than a) having your child hit their head b) having your child have a seizure c) having your child feel like a wet noodle as you carry them around. Thankfully all is well.

When we returned, our gracious guests had dinner ready on the table for us! (Thanks guys!) I guess, although it wasn't initially in their plans, it wasn't just a typical Saturday night for them either, right?

As an aside, I checked my son several times in the middle of the night for fear that he might not be as okay as the doctor expected. I had thoughts of strokes and other things of the sort. Thankfully when he woke up this morning he was a-okay and ready for some more couch jumping.

So kids, what have we learned from this here lesson?

1) Don't let your kids jump on the couch

2) Don't put any sort of climbing apparatus near the couch to encourage said couch jumping

3) If someone in your house asks you to call 9-1-1, don't ask questions, just DO IT for fear of getting slapped

PS - I just realized that I'm quite possibly the WORST story telling in the history of story-telling. Let me address the seizure bit...which was a heavy concern of mine and I'm not sure why I didn't mention the reasoning behind it when I originally posted this...

The episode is called "post-concussive seizure" and the ambulance attendant assured me that it was just my son's body's way of dealing with the trauma, and that it wouldn't affect him in the long-term. Phew. Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Sick and Tired

So, as I went to bed last night, I started to wonder who it was that I needed to contact in the morning so that I could call in sick. Then I remembered...my house doesn't have a Human Resources department. There's no sick day policy that comes with being a stay-at-home mom. When you're sick at this job, you've gotta tough it out. As my youngest woke up every two hours last night and my throat burned and burned, I realized that the rest that one needs when they're sick was not in my cards, so I started to daydream (thankfully my husband took care of the baby)...If I were at work, I would be entitled to 1 sick day a month. Now that means that IF I worked 35 hours a week multiplied by 4 weeks, it would be 1 sick day per 140 hours.

Okay, so IF I were paid to be a stay at home mom, my hours worked would be (on average) 16 hours a day (plus nights like last night where I was working overtime). So 16 hours/day x 7 days x 4 weeks is equal to 448 hours a month, which means IF there was a Human Resources department at my "work" I would be entitled to 3.2 sick days a month. Wouldn't that be nice? A full 3 days a month of no kids? No whining? No crying? No "No'ing"? No making dinner? A girl can dream right???

So what is a stay-at-home mom to do when she's as sick as a dog and has a very active pre-schooler and a 4 month old at home to watch? The answer, for me anyway...is TELEVISION. Now, I know I've just heard a multitude of you gasp (and I can just picture my favourite nemesis Gisele wagging her finger at me)...but honestly...what is the alternative? I can barely swallow. I'm hot and then I'm cold. My body aches. I know I should just suck it up and take the kids to the park....but I'm not going to. I'm going to open up the pull-out couch in the basement, grab all the pillows, a large glass of water for me, a sippy cup and snacks for my son and my remote controls. I'll bundle up my kids, sit them on the couch with me and turn on the TELEVISION. I've got movies...and lots of them (one of the benefits of having a husband that works in the film industry)...and we're gonna watch them. ALL OF THEM if we need to.

I know it's the easy way out, but I'm entitled to have ONE easy day, no? Can I be a little selfish on a day where a normal human being can stay at home, bundled in their warm, cozy bed with a nice cup of tea (no hot beverages in bed with two little ones) and hop themselves up on cold medication (another luxury a non-breastfeeding person has) and sleep and sleep and sleep? A day when a sick person would normally get to stay home and watch torrid television a la Maury Povich or a scary/violent/adult themed movie they've taken out of the library (not gonna happen with a two and a half year old)? So, sitting cuddled up to my two kids watching Toy Story over and over and over seems like the best alternative...and I'm not gonna feel bad about it.

TO INFINITY AND BEYOND!

I'm a day late with my weigh in, but here it is nonetheless:

Starting Weight: 148.8 lbs

Current Weight: 142.4 lbs

Goal Weight: 130 lbs

Dream Weight: 125 lbs

I seem to have lost a little bit of weight this week. Nothing to write home about, but I suppose it's better than gaining it right? The best part of this week was walking into my local library and having the attendant tell me that I've lost SO MUCH WEIGHT and I LOOK GREAT (these words will be burned into my mind forever!). So, I decided to reward myself and eat FOUR (yes FOUR!) cupcakes (unfrosted, of course...I'm not a heathen!!!!). Needless to say I'm planning on staying away from the scales until weigh-in next week. Especially when there are more cupcakes to be had and NO EXERCISE IN MY FUTURE. Oh well...

C'est L'Halloween, HEY!

It's coming! My favourite holiday of the year! Hallowe'en is drawing near, and for any of you out there that took French Immersion in the 80s, you'll remember this little dittie from Matt Maxwell's Comment Ca Va?

I'm telling you, if you don't have children already, get on the kiddie bus! What better way to humiliate your offspring than to dress them up as ridiculously as you can just to blackmail them in the future??? AWESOME!


Now, Hallowe'en is my fave day of the year, and it's not because I like to torment children, nor is it because I spent ages 16-18 sleeping in a coffin (for those of you who don't know this story - pretend like you didn't read that...), but it's because I love to open the door and see how all the kids in the area are dressed up. And NO, I don't mean those beastly teenagers, who wear their pyjamas as a costume (if they even bother dressing up at all!!!). I mean the little 4 and 5 year olds who are just grasping the concept that they can dress up in fun costumes and go door to door demanding candy. Can there be a better holiday? HONESTLY???


This year our neighbourhood tried something a little different. I came home on Thursday night to find a lovely little gift bag stuck in my door. In that bag there was a note, a picture of a ghost and 4 delicious chocolate bars .

The note read as follows:

YOU HAVE BEEN GHOSTED

Now it's your turn to "Ghost" two other people in your neighbourhood.

You should "ghost" these people within 2 days of receiving your treat.

Hang the ghost on your front door so that everyone can see that you have been "ghosted" and will not ghost you again.

This will also let you know who you can ghost.

Fill 2 bags with candy and treats. Copy this letter and the picture of the ghost twice. Include treats, letter and ghost in your bag of goodies for the neighbours that you choose.

After dark, and only with an adult, "ghost" 2 of your neighbours.

Do not let the person that you are "ghosting" see you, for it adds to the fun of it all. Place the treat bag on the doorstep, ring the doorbell and run!

It will be fun to see how many ghosts will appear in our neighbourhood by Hallowe'en.

Please keep it safe and enjoy.

Has the best day of the year just gotten BETTER? UM... YEAH! So last night me and my son went out "ghosting". I loved the novelty of it and my little guy thought it was awesome that he was allowed to ring peoples' doorbells over and over and over and over again, so it worked out! The only issue is that a two and a half year old sure drags you down when you're trying to make a break for it! I'm pretty sure we were caught red-handed on each of the drop-offs, but it made for some super fun! Anyway, I am ultra keen to see how many ghosts end up on neighbourhood doors before Sunday. I hope it spreads. It was a great idea, and an awesome way to get everyone in the area out and about! You all should try it too!

Now, as previously explained I love dressing up my children. And one of the MAJOR bonuses of sending my son to nursery school is that I can send him in his costume for the Hallowe'en party, right? WRONG-O!!!!!!! I emailed the teacher to find out what the deal was and was promptly told that there would be no costumes for the party. Not sure if it's because costumes are hot and get the kids uncomfortable, or if maybe my son is right and nursery school IS NOT FUN... You can't tell me it wasn't awesome to get dressed up in your costume and go to school? Remember the kindergarten parade????? C'mon! AS IF! Anyway, I'm totally bummed that it isn't going to happen this year for us...I mean him...and we're missing the annual Hallowe'en parade in my home town just so he can go to school (and get peeled off me...yes, he's still doing the ol' kicking and screaming at the nursery school's front door game. It's SO fun!).

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO in the literal and figurative sense.


Now to change the subject and discuss how many mini chocolate bars I've actually eaten this week...Here's the weigh-in:

Starting Weight: 148.8 lbs

Current Weight: 143.8 lbs

Goal Weight: 130 lbs

Dream Weight: 125 lbs

A tiny smidgen of progress but not enough. I think this coming week is gonna be a write-off for me too (not that I'm making excuses...BUT...I'm making excuses.) Anyway, a little weight off is better than none, right?

I'll leave you with some photos to get you in a spooktacular mood!

HAPPY HALLOWE'EN ONE AND ALL!

***Hallowe'en 2010 Photos to follow! ***

A Silent Night Would Truly Be A Holy Night!

There is something in the air this week, I can assure you of that (and yes, I do realize it's only Monday!!!!) I know I'm about to sound obnoxious, and I KNOW that most of you out there will think I'm a HUGE JERK for complaining about this...

BUT

My three and a half month old is driving me BANANAS! She (brace yourself...) slept through the night for 5 weeks straight up until Thanksgiving weekend and now she's out of control. She gives us grief when she goes to sleep and she wakes up 2, 3, 4 times a night. Yes...I know, that's what 3 month-olds do. I get it. But please understand my frustration when she did sleep through the night for 5 consecutive weeks. Okay. I know I'm spoiled. What three month old sleeps through the night??? But I can tell you this for sure. She WILL NOT DO IT ANYMORE! Last night was a doozy. We made the mistake of putting her to bed early (and when I mean early, I mean we put her to bed at 10 minutes to 9:00pm). This time, she went to bed without issue...and then the beast awoke. She started screaming and screaming. There was nothing I could do to settle her. I tried feeding her, but she was disinterested. My husband rocked her and bounced her and finally...she fell asleep...for one hour! And then she was up AGAIN! When she wasn't waking us up every hour and a half, it was my son who must've decided to get in on the action too (he was probably woken up by the racket she was making). Needless to say the adults in our household are very tired and at our wits end.

That's what lead us to the "crying out" attempt. Yes, I know...it's bloody early to let your baby cry it out. You don't have to tell me. But we had tried everything in our power and it was a last resort! So, she cried. And I winced. And she cried...Now, she only cried for 4 minutes...but as most moms know, 4 minutes of a screaming child is like an eternity. She fell asleep. And she slept. BUT only for two hours, and then cried again. So I fed her. And she slept. For an hour. And then my husband bounced her. And she slept...and so on and so forth.

So, what I'm trying to figure out is if it's too early to actually start sleep training the little one. I've completely given up on my preschooler. I've lived with his terrible sleep routine for this long, so I'm not going to even bother trying to work out a new schedule for him. Anyway, I know there are many schools of thought on sleep training. Most sleep doulas won't even speak to parents until their child is 4 months old. Other people say that a baby's stomach isn't big enough for them to truly sleep through the night until they're at least 6 months old (that's obviously a fallacy because mine had no issue up until now), then you have all of the sleep training books that say that you should start training them from birth. There's also the possibility that my little girl is just going through a growth spurt and, although she doesn't appear to be hungry, she really is and her empty belly is waking her up every few hours for a top up. But if that's the case, how long does one wait for this "so called" growth spurt to finish? And how do I know that this isn't becoming her new routine? What should I do?

Now, although you may not sympathize with my current plight, I'm sure you all can sympathize with the feeling one gets when they're sleep deprived. It makes you crazy! So, any advice you can send me would be greatly appreciated!

And to add to my unfortunate circumstances, after 2 successful weeks of nursery school drop-offs, this is the morning that my son decided he didn't really feel like going. He was psyched to go all morning, but once we walked up to the door and he saw his teacher, he changed his mind. I tried to talk some sense into him, telling him that he loved nursery school and all of his friends were going to be there to have fun with, but he grabbed me around the neck and wouldn't let go. It took both me and the teacher to pry him off, while other mothers walked by with understanding in their eyes. It just seems strange that he's never had an issue before today. The teacher assured me that she would call if there was any problem (and I haven't heard the phone ring...yet...). I'm just wondering if it's all a symptom of his lack of sleep last night. (At least that's what I'm hoping).

Please tell me this week is only going to get better?

Now for my weekly weight loss report:

Starting Weight: 148.8 lbs

Current Weight: 144.4 lbs

(Ugh! Not even a ounce lost this week. I guess it's my own fault for going gangbusters last week. Looks like I should be celebrating Thanksgiving more often!!!!)

Goal Weight: 130 lbs

Dream Weight: 125 lbs

Tonight is my first night back on Kickboxing after my tragic neck incident. Hopefully I don't puke! And hopefully my next week's weigh in will be a little more eventful than this one. Otherwise my Christmas dream is never going to happen.

PS - It looks like I'm not the only one suffering from this...but it also appears that there isn't a heck of a lot to be done about it either...Please click here to read an article about babies and their fickle sleep cycles

I'm Gonna Wash That Hair Right Outta My Hair

Happy Belated Thanksgiving! If you're like me, you spent the long weekend EATING, chatting and enjoying the AMAZING fall weather with family and friends. Thanksgiving is always a special time as fall is my favourite time of year. Putting on a sweater and jeans and walking outside with a slight cool breeze? Nothing beats it! Much better than sweating/freezing your butt off! (don't send me hate mail if you disagree...)

So, my hair is pretty long. Long enough that I can get away with washing it only once or twice a week (lucky for me, because my free time is few and far between these last three months!). Because I knew we were getting together with family over the long weekend, I thought it best for me (and the others - no one wants to sit beside the greasy-headed lady) to wash it before we set out for our trip to our Aunt's place. Now, I knew that at some point it was going to arrive...it happened a couple of months after my son was born and it blew my mind...so every time I wash my hair now, I wait with bated breath. And this time it happened. As I was rinsing the shampoo from my "locks", I pulled out a clump. Then I "repeated"...and I pulled out another clump. Then finally I applied and rinsed out the conditioner. CLUMP AGAIN!!!! Yes, ladies and gentlemen...The hair loss has begun! One of the only wonderful things about being pregnant (other than carrying your child, of course) is that you get beautiful, thick, glossy hair. It makes it look moderately okay when someone's holding it back while one's puking ones guts out with morning sickness. But of course, once the baby is born, everything goes south: the belly, the boobs, the hips, the thighs, the butt and of course, the MOP! As if we weren't punished enough...the powers that be thought to himself..."How do I make it worse?...Yes! The hair!"...Anyway, let the balding begin, I say. I mean, if Sinead O'Connor and Natalie Portman can do it, then I can certainly pull it off (YEAH RIGHT!!!!). With my luck, I'll look like this...

Anyway, there's not much I can do about it, other than just let it happen. I'll deal with the wisps that will find themselves at my hairline and tickle me CONSTANTLY. Those silly hairs that won't go in a ponytail and stick out like a sore thumb...Hopefully my husband won't kill me when he has to pull an entire head of hair from the drain. I'm trying my best to catch them before they get there, but I'd love a little understanding, okay?

Now, from one torture to another... This past week's weight loss progress:

Starting Weight: 148.8 lbs

Current Weight: 144.4 lbs

(Yes, I stepped on the scale THREE TIMES because I didn't believe it myself. I didn't do an ounce of exercise AND it was Thanksgiving weekend. I think someone was sending their good thin vibes to me...and whoever you are I thank you profusely. I can't guarantee that I can pull numbers like this again...! But this does give me hope that sooner than later I'll be able to wear pants that don't have elastic waists!)

Goal Weight: 130 lbs

Dream Weight: 125 lbs

So, with my neck back in order (thanks Balance Health Centre!) and no JUNK FOOD in my house (I ate the last ice cream sandwich last night) I'm hoping that this is only the beginning of my thinnification. Maybe I can hit my goal weight by Christmas??? Santa can you hear me???

School Daze

So, the day is finally here. My son is all grown up! Today was my little guy's first day of pre-school. Where does the time go????? My husband and I have been prepping him for the past couple of weeks talking about nursery school and reading him stories about first days and such. I think we did a pretty good job of making it seem like a lot of fun. He was very excited to start, and even had a little trouble sleeping last night (nothing like a 4am wake up cry begging to go to nursery school!). The fear, of course, is that one preps their child for this first experience and once they walk into the classroom, even the most independent child becomes a stage one clinger, so I was very, VERY wary as we entered the room.

We were even warned by some parents exiting the building that there were lots of T-E-A-R-S. I got my camera out and snapped a shot for the photo album before we got in (just in case). As soon as we entered, the teachers were there to greet us. He has his own hook with his little name and photo above it. He ripped off his jacket and started in...but then hesitated. "Uh-oh", I thought to myself. He grabbed my husband's arm and said "Daddy come too?"...but my husband and I both said, "we've gotta go home, but we'll be back soon." My son said "Later!" and ran off to play. EASY PEASY! Phew! Now, of course, knowing that my husband is abandoning me for work, I will be on my own for the dreaded pick-up. I wonder how many tears will be shed when I have to drag him away from the toys and the sand box. I'm crossing my fingers that it will be an easy transfer...but I'm not convinced that will be the case! Here's to hoping, right?

This past week has been a challenge to say the least. It started off swimmingly. My friend and I had our first kickboxing class and it was exhilarating! The teacher was just as I remembered him: EVIL. There were points where I couldn't continue, but he pushed...there were points where I thought I was going to faint, but he pushed...and there was even a point where I wanted to puke (but didn't!). When I got home I wanted to die, but I also wanted to go back and do it again. Then Tuesday night I had a date with Jillian, and although she didn't kick my butt, she still worked me hard. I weighed myself on Wednesday and lost a whopping one and a half pounds!!! IN TWO DAYS! Then, trouble hit. Over the past month my neck has been bugging me like CRAZY. I blamed it on poor breastfeeding positioning. I went to my chiropractor and she made it all better. Instantly! But when I woke up on Wednesday I felt a little bit funny. By Friday I could barely move my head from side to side. Saturday morning I woke my husband up crying because I was completely paralyzed. I couldn't move an inch. Thankfully, he was able to help out around the house on Friday (by coming home early), and did most of the work around the house on Saturday and Sunday to give me a bit of a break. That being said...all I did was sit (or lie down) and EAT. And no exercise and lots of eating makes me a fat girl.

Here is this week's progress (if we can call it that...)

Starting Weight: 148.8 lbs

Current Weight: 148.2 lbs (yes, the same as last week. So much for losing all that weight only to gain it back in three days! UGH!)

Goal Weight: 130 lbs

Dream Weight: 125 lbs

So, looks like I have a lot of work ahead of me. Unfortunately I'm still in excruciating pain, so I have to skip tonight's kickboxing class. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I, do, however, have an appointment with my chiropractor again tomorrow, so I'm hoping that I'll be back to my "workouts" by tomorrow night and I can catch up with my Jillian Michaels DVDs.

Again, I'm hoping that my neck gives me a bit of a break (in the non-literal sense) so my ass can shrink a little more...But I do know this...Thanksgiving is just around the corner, and although it is a time to be thankful for what we have in life, I also know it's a time to EAT and SIT, um...and did I mention EAT? So I've got to make a point this weekend, to keep my portion sizes down and try my best to be as active as I can. At this point, all I can hope for is that I don't GAIN weight for next week's weigh in...Wish me luck!

The Terrible Twos Have Landed...

I thought after 31 months, I was in the clear. But CLEARLY I was wrong about that. I thought I had missed those terrible twos that I'd heard SO much about, but it looks like it was strictly wishful thinking on my part. I'm hoping that the past two weeks have just been a phase rather than a sign of what's to come. I'm sure most mothers can relate to the yelling, crying, whining and straight-up defiance that most kids show at this "wonderful" age...but I wasn't prepared for a constant battle with it. My son's favourite word is no. But if only it ended there. No is usually accompanied by foot stomps and high pitched screaming (usually about a millimeter from my face). This happens at home, at meal times and especially at stores. I'm pretty sure my son hoardes his worst behaviour for long lineups in busy shops where there are lots of people rolling their eyes. And have you ever tried to pick up a tantruming kid? It's like trying to grab a slick eel soaked in oil. I'm not sure how they learn the shark death roll tactic at such a young age, but as soon as a parent grabs them, the arms go up and the body goes rigid. Parents' arms just end up sliding right off. Anyway, I suppose I should just drop my potential purchases and run for the shelter of my car (shelter from those judging eyes), but I just can't bring myself to do it. It's almost a waste of good shopping time (considering that kinda time is few and far between when there are two kids to cart around), so I stick it out, much to the chagrin of those in the lineups around me.

At home we have the naughty chair and the threat of sitting in it USED TO BE great. I would warn once and then the second time the bad behaviour reared its ugly head I would count down from three and by two the behaviour stopped. Lately, I'm not so lucky. Most days there's the potential that my child sits in that chair in the corner of the dining room for half of the day. And of course, all hell breaks loose when he gets there. Screaming, hitting the wall, hitting himself...and then come the tears and the I'm sorries: "Mommy, I'm sorry for hitting", "Mommy, I'm sorry for yelling", "Mommy, I'm sorry for not listening" and of course I hug and kiss him and take him off the chair, and sure enough, he's up to no good minutes later...like he's completely forgotten that he was JUST PUNISHED...

Anyway, I know I'm not the only one out there dealing with this particular challenge, but I'm so curious how one can successfully nip this bad behaviour in the bud before it spirals out of control. Please send me all of your tips, as short of beating my child, I'm willing to try anything.

Okay, so now it's confession time... I've officially finished week number one of my weight loss challenge and how did I do?

1) I didn't curb my eating (Of course this should be number one on anyone's list of things to do to lose weight...but I figure, why curb my eating? I'm exercising and that should be enough, no?)

2) I did Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday (half hour of weight training and cardio). Now this is okay...better than nothing, but really I should be doing it more often. I won't even bother giving you excuses. It is what it is and I promise to do better this coming week

3) The proof is in the pudding. Because of my lack of effort on both the food and exertion front, I only lost 0.6 of a pound. Not great. Not good. Not acceptable. Again, I'm going to try better this week. And this is how I'm going to attempt to do it. I'm going to cut my portion sizes and I'm going to make an effort to exercise more often.

Tonight is my first night of kickboxing. Hopefully I don't die, and more so, I hope that it motivates me to get my ass in gear. Jillian Michaels and I will be attached at the remote and we have a date set every night this week with the exception of Wednesday and Friday night (I have to trade her for a date with my two kids....). I'm hoping to do better next week, because at the rate of my current weight loss I'm going to be 55 before I'm back to my goal weight.

So here it is:

Beginning Weight: 148.8 lbs

Current Weight: 148.2 lbs

Goal Weight: 130 lbs

Dream Weight: 125 lbs

Please send me all of your good weight loss vibes. I know I'll need them!

It's Time To Walk The Walk

Okay... it's getting to the point that I can't procrastinate anymore. I talk about it all the time...yet, I sit on the couch and eat my chocolate chip cookies and do NOTHING about it. Now it's time to start...and the straw that broke this camel's back happened this weekend. And straw it was. Literally...a stick...of a woman...I was at a two year old's birthday party and in walks a family with two children in tow. The one child was a little younger than my oldest but I couldn't see the other, who was buried in a car seat under a blanket. A friend of mine leaned over to tell me that the baby was only 2 days older than my youngest. And that's when my eyes veered from the baby straight to the mom. What did this broad look like (hoping that I wasn't the fattest girl in the place). BOY WAS I WRONG!!!!!!!!! This lady was gorgeous...and that's not an exaggeration. She was cute, blond with a stunning hair cut and she was thin. And when I mean thin, she was thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin...like as a human she was thin...not as a woman who gave birth two months ago thin. She was what every woman wishes they looked like two months after they have a baby or what every woman wishes she'd look like...period.

And that's when I wanted to die. Although no one said anything I KNOW that people were looking at her and then at me, making comparisons...one of these things just doesn't belong here...if you catch my drift. I know if it wasn't me, I'd be making those comparisons too. So, GISELE BUNDCHEN is laughing from her high horse no doubt. There really are women out there who can get their figure back AFTER a kid...even AFTER TWO, and it doesn't take a whole year.

So, what this boils down to is this...I need to lose weight. I've hit this terrible plateau (mainly self induced...with no help from my insatiable appetite and my lack of motivation in the exertion department) of post-baby weight loss and there's nothing left to take the weight off except exercise and a change in my diet. So goodbye Aero bars, adios gummy coke bottles, auf wiedersehen chips and dip, and ciao gelato. Kickboxing officially starts one week tomorrow and what better place to be accountable than online, in front of tens of people. When it's in writing it seems so much more...um...terrible. So, beginning today I will track my weight each week, whether I've lost any or not, for that matter. This is the kick in the pants that I need. Jillian Michaels, her exercise DVDS (including Shred-It With Weights - if interested, please see your local store for these titles...I'm still waiting for "6 Week Six Pack" to come in...) and I will become best friends and more likely worst enemies...but I don't care. I'm tired of these wobbly-jobbly thighs, these sad sack abdominals and my grandma chicken flab arms. I am also tired of talking about how fat I am (as I'm sure everyone around me is equally as repulsed). It's time to do something about it.

Here it is:

Beginning Weight: 148.8 lbs

Goal Weight: 130 lbs

Dream Weight: 125 lbs

Why do I hear Rocky's Theme in my head "trying hard now...getting strong now..." Yes! There I am...running up those steps...I've almost made it...My arms are raising above my head...You can see it too, right?