Feliz Navidad and more importantly Feliz Cumpleaños

Good Lord. I'm pretty sure Santa is testing me this week. Now, I realize I'm spoiled, but c'mon...TWO KIDS ALL WEEK LONG? No nursery school. No Nana. No nothing. Just kids all day long. How and why do you do it ladies???????????? Needless to say, the coal I get in my stocking better turn into a diamond with all the pressure I'm dealing with...hint, hint!

This week I've tried to cram as many activities as I can just to keep my kids active, busy and my mind clear of chaos, but as I've hit hump day, the weekend can't come soon enough!!!!!!!!!

As the holidays are growing nearer and nearer, I've been thinking about another party that's coming soon. The party to celebrate my little boy turning 3. Now, I vowed to not have a proper "friends" party for him until he could fully enjoy himself and the atmosphere because it really does cost an arm and a leg to put one of these things on! So, I've travelled high/low/far and wide to track down the perfect venue (and I thank my ladies NS and NJ and their kids for coming along for a test drive). Honestly, it's not an easy feat trying to find a great space to have a party. My poor kid is saddled with the tragic winter birthday, so we can't have any backyard parties (and our house is the size of a normal person's dog house)...so reality set in...we gotta get outta dodge and find a place that can handled a handful of screaming preschoolers. I did some research on the internet and came up with a handful in the area (and some a little outside our area).

Who knew that narrowing down the field was going to be so hard??? Honestly what does a three year old need, right? Well, let me tell you what they need (aka - here's my criteria:)

1) Climbing Apparatus

Now this gets a little complicated, because, although MOST places that I've visited had an apparatus, not all have an appropriate apparatus for a three year old. Some apparati (?) are a little complex/scary/tall for the average bear. And let me tell you. NO PARENT wants to climb three stories up a tight tube to get their kid down because they're too scared to go any further

2) Bouncy Castle

The most precarious of the indoor playground equipment. Kids get in there and they fall on each other, knock out each other's teeth, bash heads, etc. A recipe for disaster, you'd think? Well, you're wrong. Your party is a bust unless there's a bouncy castle. Make sure you have 9-1-1 on speed dial

3) Ample Parking

(I'd hate to be the guy in the middle of that one...)

There are a lot of indoor playgrounds in the downtown core, but finding parking downtown is like finding a needle in a haystack. And trust me, lugging two kids (one in a car seat that weighs a thousand pounds), plus backpack, plus gift, plus whatever else one needs is a hassle. The closer you can get to the venue the better in my opinion

4) Stuff For Babies

I realize that it's a party for a three year old, but this three year old has a 6 month old sister, and there are lots of my three year old's friends' parents that are also in the same situation as me. It's nice to be able to accommodate both kids so that everyone has a good time, right?

4) Privacy

So, here's the deal. It's nice to have the place to yourself, right? No one wants some wild child that you don't know coming in and spreading their germs, biting, hitting, punching, etc. It's hard enough wrangling the kids you like at a party, nonetheless trying to referee someone else's menace. But if you want the facility to yourself, you have to pay a premium

5) Last, but definitely most important...

THE BENJAMINS

This crap costs a ton of money. Like honestly? Forget the party. I'm gonna save my cash and go on vacation for Cripes sakes! These places are ready to take your money and when I say take your money, I mean, they're gonna take your money for EVERYTHING. Paper plates/cutlery/juice...good god! There's no end to the tally!

Now, truthfully, it's not so much about the kids, but rather about the parents. You don't want to pick a ghetto place where the parents will talk behind your back about how lame the joint is. You also don't want to pick a place that's been done before (because you don't want to be copying someone else's idea) and you don't want it to be an inconvenience to anyone with regards to location, because the reality is, is that it's the parents that have to drag their kids out. In the real world, I'm sure the kids would have a blast in a cardboard box...

So last week, I thought I'd found the perfect place. It was in a reasonable spot, with ample parking. It had a climbing apparatus AND a bouncy castle and the price was right. When we got there it was clean and great, had a nice animal motif. The woman who was working there had her toddler with her, who was fearlessly climbing around without issue. THEN HE BARFED. ALL OVER EVERYTHING.... So much for avoiding the flu virus. Okay, it's a little barf. Nothing a little Lysol can't clean up...but I think the vomit tainted the experience a little bit. And my friend said she wasn't keen on the place either. Scratch that guy off the list. I think I was just desperate to make a decision.

So, it's down to two. One place with ONLY a bouncy castle and one place with ONLY a climbing apparatus...the rest are completely out of my price range (I'm NOT spending $550 for a 3 year old's birthday party - NOT INCLUDING GIFTS!). So, this week the final decision will be made. I'm hoping NJ will give me the go-ahead on the best of the two venues and then I have to make the dreaded deposit...

BUT, if you're an indoor playground expert, please let me know if you have any great spots that I might have missed!

And, to all of you who are celebrating the upcoming holiday, MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! May your holidays be as stress free as possible and filled with many arms to help you!

Oops I Did It Again...??????

Because my kids have decided to boycott sleep this past week. I've spent a lot of time awake in my bed thinking. And Lord knows that when you spend an inordinate amount of time thinking, one ends up conjuring up RIDICULOUS scenarios in their head.

One night, very late into the wee hours, I felt an odd fluttering in my tummy. One that made me think back to what seems like EONS ago when I felt the first butterflies of my little fetuses (or is it feti?) flubbering around in my ENORMOUSLY HUGE gut. Once I got that vision in my head I couldn't get it out. What if I was pregnant???? I starting thinking about why I was feeling so terribly tired these past few days...and crap, didn't I feel a bit nauseous on Friday in the morning when I woke up? Maybe I was being so monstrous this past week because my hormones were all outta whack? Is that why I didn't lose any weight this past week? Am I going to have to change the name of my blog???

And more importantly, will I have the dreaded toilet baby because I think I've gotta take a crap, but really I'm in labour????

OH NO! WHAT HAVE WE DONE????????????????????????

Then I started thinking about what would happen if I really was pregnant. I'm having a difficult enough time with two. Imagine throwing another one in the mix...If I was truly pregnant and I was feeling it move, I was probably just into my second trimester, which means the baby would be coming in another 5 1/2 months. I knew that stinkin' 6 week gynecological check up was going to be the death of me. If this new baby was that far along, my little girl would not even be a year old when this new one came. My pulse started racing. My breathing starting to quicken...and I started feeling sick to my stomach...wait a minute...maybe that was morning sickness..........

WHY DIDN'T I GET MY TUBES TIED WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE????????????????

Then I got up, rocked my little girl back to sleep, took a deep breath and really analyzed the situation. Okay, dude. Let's think rationally... you had broccoli and cauliflower for dinner (a recipe for gas), you're tired because you have had 13 hours sleep in the past 6 days (which also explains the irrational thinking), you feel sick to your stomach because you're overtired and you've gained weight because you've been eating pound cake and chips and dip at a breakneck pace. Good grief! Get that silly thought out of your head!

But really, how does a nursing mom know if she's pregnant? What are the tell tale signs???? It's no wonder there are countless episodes of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant". Wait a minute. Don't tell me. I don't need my mind to go off the rails again after I've talked myself off that ledge.

So, I crossed "pregnancy test" off my shopping list and let out a big sigh of relief. I'm just being a lunatic. If I pretend it's not happening, it won't right???????

Is He Just A Jealous Guy?

Good grief. One would think that as your child gets older and more independent, they become a little less difficult to deal with...That's obviously not the case in my house. My child is giving me trouble like it was his middle name.

I can't say when this behaviour started, but it's clearly more than just a phase (or at least I think that's the case). My son has always been ultra sensitive to sound. When we brought him home from the hospital, he used to scream if I sneezed while nursing him. He gets upset if someone with a deep voice speaks to him. If someone laughs loudly he has a fit. A dog barking drives him to tears (even if the dog is in a yard on another street). Nursery school is also starting to become a point of anxiety for him because one of the kid's in his class still cries when he's being dropped off. This child's crying has become contagious, and my Melancholy Pauly (as we like to call him) has taken it upon himself to not let that kid feel left out. Once the crying starts, it's extremely difficult to stop.

My son is also starting to find things extremely "SCARY". I'm not 100% sure he has a grasp on the true meaning of the word, but things he's read or watched a million times without issue are now debilitating frightening to him. And it's not like I'm letting him watch the Texas Chainsaw Massacre...I'm talking about Elmo's World and Toy Story...

In addition to this sensitivity, my son has moved himself into Tantrum City, where's he elected himself Mayor. If my daughter screams, he has to scream. If he doesn't get his way he's throwing toys and hitting the walls, himself and me.

There are so many reasons why he MAY be doing this...but it's proving difficult to actually pinpoint the cause.

1) He is a "spirited" child. GAWD. This term is one of my pet peeves. When did it become politically incorrect to say that your kid is a handful? Like other parents don't get it? Are you a bad mom or dad if your kid is a whirling dervish? Why can't you just call a spade a spade and say your kid acts like a brat sometimes? Why do we have to make a silly, flowery sounding nickname for it? Well, my child is showing his true colours. He has always been a "sensitive" guy so it's in his nature, but is this the only reason he's giving me grief?

2) He is not the only child any more. Okay, it's been five months since we brought our little lady home from the hospital. Is my son only NOW realizing that this kid isn't going back to the hospital? Our attention could now be spread a little too thin for his liking...so he's acting up in hopes that any attention (even if it's bad attention) is better than no attention at all. Has he now decided to put his foot down and make a statement?

3) He has a mental issue. Okay, this is probably the least likely of the reasons...but there is always that potential that maybe my kid is following in the footsteps of Steve Martin's character's eldest child in the film Parenthood. You remember that kid right? The one who had a nervous breakdown when someone looked in his direction? Is that my kid? Sir Anxious-A-Lot?

4) He's two and this is what the terrible twos are about.

5) And the most likely of them all...it's a combination of all of the above.

I'm a firm believer in nipping naughty behaviour in the bud. I've tried reasoning with him, but really...he's just a preschooler, does he get it? I've tried the naughty chair, I've tried acknowledging his feelings, I've tried ignoring his feelings. I've tried distracting him and I've tried removing myself from the tantrum. I'm not sure what else there is to be done????

Now, don't get me wrong. My kid has a heart of gold, and there are many times when it's a complete and utter joy to hang out with him. When he's having a good day, he's a blast. He's smart, hilariously funny and very imaginative. I don't want to sound like I'm down on him, because I love him desperately, but as most mother's know...even the easiest child is a terror on a bad day.

So, this could all just be a phase that he outgrows, but I have to figure out a way to maintain my composure after being tested time and time again. A woman can only be slapped across the face so many times without losing her composure. My patience is growing thin as you can well imagine, and it's extremely difficult to devote one-on-one time to him when our time together is spent butting heads. I'm hoping that there are veteran moms out there that can shed some light on the situation and give me advice on how to not turn into a trantrumming 3o something....

Upon the suggestion of a couple of moms out there, I've taken him to a doctor to see if it might be a hearing issue that is rendering him so sensitive to sound. The pediatrician has assured me that it isn't the case with my son, and rather it's more than likely either a means to get attention or it's a behavioural issue. She's recommended that I read a book called "The Spirited Child" (HONESTLY???? I HATE THE BOOK ON PRINCIPAL AT THIS POINT) and has sent a referral out to an anxiety clinic at Sick Kids. She's also suggested looking into a pediatrician that specializes in behavioural issues, just to pinpoint the problem.

I feel like I'm totally overanalyzing this whole situation and maybe I'm being extreme. But my fear is that if we don't figure out the problems now, they will only escalate and if my 3 year old is melancholy now, who knows what he'll be like once he discovers Morrissey as a teenager...UGH!

I'm hoping that the lessons learned during this stage will help to prepare me for the days to come. They will, right? It's gonna get easier, right? C'mon

I'm writing this really small in hopes that you can't read it. The week has been terrible. I blame it completely on the stress I've been dealing with...I've gained some weight this week...ugh. And the holidays haven't even started yet.

This week I weight 139.8 lbs. Tragic.