The Devil In Disguise

I've come to the conclusion that the Internet is EVIL.

Okay, maybe I'm being a little bit harsh...but still. I'm old enough to remember hiking my butt to the local library to do essays and research "papers" and using such antiquities as an encyclopaedia and (gasp!) the dreaded microfiche, so I understand how amazing the internet really is in the grand scheme of things. Imagine having to work under the confines of the library's hours of operations nowadays just to look up some frivolous tidbit! No WAY, Jose! Plus, would a microfiche really tell you what else that dude on Friday Night Lights was on, because you recognize his face, but just can't place him? Probably not...and how would you look for that information anyway? I don't think there's an entry for random Friday Night Lights actors in Encyclopaedia Britannica.




Anyway, I get it. The internet is convenient and, for the most part, it's a godsend. All the information one could dream of at the touch of a keyboard, 24 HOURS A DAY! But this flood of information also poses a bit of a problem. Sometimes too much information is a bad thing.



For example, my baby is breech (STILL!), so I hopped on the computer to find out why babies are breech and what to do to flip them (as seen on previous post). Discouraged after my pre-natal OB appointment on Wednesday, I wanted to check and see what I could really do to turn this defiant little beast as the reality of whispering sweet nothings into the vagina was seemingly more of a last resort than anything else. I also checked a couple of sites that discussed possible reasons for breech births...some of which seem like viable reasons (large uterus stretched from previous births, too much amniotic fluid so the baby floats rather than settles into the proper position, prior c-sections, low-lying placenta) and others were just plain scary (hydrocephaly, anencephaly, congenital defects) which were accompanied by equally scary photos (see below!)























(no comments from the peanut gallery on the size of the head of photo #1 versus the size of my husband's head, please!)



And of course, what do most mom-to-bes focus on? You got it! The birth defects! My main concern was that my child would be deformed if he/she remained in this position, so I needed to do whatever was necessary to coax it to flip. My first attempt was the pelvic tilt. My husband turned on Game 1 of the Lakers/Celtics Finals (Go RAY ALLEN!), stuffed a bahzillion pillows under my butt and got me on my way. My head and shoulders were to remain flat, back down flat on the ground, and my hips needed to be elevated above the head/shoulders. Apparently this shifts the baby out of the pelvis and gives it the space it needs to turn. I had to do this for 20 minutes. After about a minute and a half, I realized that I couldn't breath anymore, as the baby was pushing against my diaphragm...but those images kept flashing in my mind, so I kept at it. Then I felt all the blood rushing into my head...but those images...they're VERY persuasive! At the 20 minute mark, I rolled off the pillows, tears running down my face, gasping for oxygen and my head pounding, but at least my baby would be normal right? Well, unfortunately I forgot to read that this "exercise" needed to be done 3 TIMES A DAY! And the reality was that I really wouldn't know if it worked until the OB checks me again next week.





Off to bed I went, hoping that this child would miraculously flip and I could sleep soundly (and get those frightening pix outta my head!)...to no avail. Rather than flipping, I felt barely any movement at all, which is unusual, as the baby generally has a 10pm party in my belly. Finally at 6 am I got out of bed and again, turned that devious computer on to fill my brain with MORE useless information. Step one - Run up and down the stairs. Okay...still no movement. Step two - Drink something cold. Okay...still no movement. Step three - Eat something sugary. Okay...still NOTHING!!!!!! Step four - This time on kick counts. Apparently at this stage, the mother to be should feel her fetus move 5-6 times an hour. So, I started my count. By 6:45am I had felt nothing. NOT ONE MOVEMENT. Panic sets in. WHAT HAVE I DONE? The pelvic tilt must've moved the baby against the cord and now it's not getting oxygen. It can't breath in there!!! I immediately called Telehealth, (next to the internet, this is my favourite resource) sobbing like a maniac. The nurse on the other line, who was MOST helpful and understanding, tried to make sense of what I was saying in between sniffles, but got the gist of it and asked me to go to emergency room immediately just to be sure the baby was okay.





I ran up the stairs to tell my husband who, in a jiffy, got my toddler dressed and ready to go. As I sat waiting, the stinkin' little beaner decided to jump. I grabbed my pen and paper and began recording kicks. 1, 2, 3...7..10 all within minutes! So much for an hour! My child was moving about like it'd stored all it's energy for this very moment! I guess today was the day he/she decided to have a little sleep in! Good grief!

My husband says that it must be a girl, because no boy would ever try and scare their parents like that. Needless to say, I'm thankful, boy or girl, that everything is okay. Movements are normal and have been for the last 24 hours! I've also made a mental note to keep my fingers off the keyboard as much as I can with regards to researching important fetal facts. And with only 4 1/2 weeks to go, my patience is growing very thin to meet this little one, and send him/her to the naughty chair PRONTO!