Is He Just A Jealous Guy?

Good grief. One would think that as your child gets older and more independent, they become a little less difficult to deal with...That's obviously not the case in my house. My child is giving me trouble like it was his middle name.

I can't say when this behaviour started, but it's clearly more than just a phase (or at least I think that's the case). My son has always been ultra sensitive to sound. When we brought him home from the hospital, he used to scream if I sneezed while nursing him. He gets upset if someone with a deep voice speaks to him. If someone laughs loudly he has a fit. A dog barking drives him to tears (even if the dog is in a yard on another street). Nursery school is also starting to become a point of anxiety for him because one of the kid's in his class still cries when he's being dropped off. This child's crying has become contagious, and my Melancholy Pauly (as we like to call him) has taken it upon himself to not let that kid feel left out. Once the crying starts, it's extremely difficult to stop.

My son is also starting to find things extremely "SCARY". I'm not 100% sure he has a grasp on the true meaning of the word, but things he's read or watched a million times without issue are now debilitating frightening to him. And it's not like I'm letting him watch the Texas Chainsaw Massacre...I'm talking about Elmo's World and Toy Story...

In addition to this sensitivity, my son has moved himself into Tantrum City, where's he elected himself Mayor. If my daughter screams, he has to scream. If he doesn't get his way he's throwing toys and hitting the walls, himself and me.

There are so many reasons why he MAY be doing this...but it's proving difficult to actually pinpoint the cause.

1) He is a "spirited" child. GAWD. This term is one of my pet peeves. When did it become politically incorrect to say that your kid is a handful? Like other parents don't get it? Are you a bad mom or dad if your kid is a whirling dervish? Why can't you just call a spade a spade and say your kid acts like a brat sometimes? Why do we have to make a silly, flowery sounding nickname for it? Well, my child is showing his true colours. He has always been a "sensitive" guy so it's in his nature, but is this the only reason he's giving me grief?

2) He is not the only child any more. Okay, it's been five months since we brought our little lady home from the hospital. Is my son only NOW realizing that this kid isn't going back to the hospital? Our attention could now be spread a little too thin for his liking...so he's acting up in hopes that any attention (even if it's bad attention) is better than no attention at all. Has he now decided to put his foot down and make a statement?

3) He has a mental issue. Okay, this is probably the least likely of the reasons...but there is always that potential that maybe my kid is following in the footsteps of Steve Martin's character's eldest child in the film Parenthood. You remember that kid right? The one who had a nervous breakdown when someone looked in his direction? Is that my kid? Sir Anxious-A-Lot?

4) He's two and this is what the terrible twos are about.

5) And the most likely of them all...it's a combination of all of the above.

I'm a firm believer in nipping naughty behaviour in the bud. I've tried reasoning with him, but really...he's just a preschooler, does he get it? I've tried the naughty chair, I've tried acknowledging his feelings, I've tried ignoring his feelings. I've tried distracting him and I've tried removing myself from the tantrum. I'm not sure what else there is to be done????

Now, don't get me wrong. My kid has a heart of gold, and there are many times when it's a complete and utter joy to hang out with him. When he's having a good day, he's a blast. He's smart, hilariously funny and very imaginative. I don't want to sound like I'm down on him, because I love him desperately, but as most mother's know...even the easiest child is a terror on a bad day.

So, this could all just be a phase that he outgrows, but I have to figure out a way to maintain my composure after being tested time and time again. A woman can only be slapped across the face so many times without losing her composure. My patience is growing thin as you can well imagine, and it's extremely difficult to devote one-on-one time to him when our time together is spent butting heads. I'm hoping that there are veteran moms out there that can shed some light on the situation and give me advice on how to not turn into a trantrumming 3o something....

Upon the suggestion of a couple of moms out there, I've taken him to a doctor to see if it might be a hearing issue that is rendering him so sensitive to sound. The pediatrician has assured me that it isn't the case with my son, and rather it's more than likely either a means to get attention or it's a behavioural issue. She's recommended that I read a book called "The Spirited Child" (HONESTLY???? I HATE THE BOOK ON PRINCIPAL AT THIS POINT) and has sent a referral out to an anxiety clinic at Sick Kids. She's also suggested looking into a pediatrician that specializes in behavioural issues, just to pinpoint the problem.

I feel like I'm totally overanalyzing this whole situation and maybe I'm being extreme. But my fear is that if we don't figure out the problems now, they will only escalate and if my 3 year old is melancholy now, who knows what he'll be like once he discovers Morrissey as a teenager...UGH!

I'm hoping that the lessons learned during this stage will help to prepare me for the days to come. They will, right? It's gonna get easier, right? C'mon

I'm writing this really small in hopes that you can't read it. The week has been terrible. I blame it completely on the stress I've been dealing with...I've gained some weight this week...ugh. And the holidays haven't even started yet.

This week I weight 139.8 lbs. Tragic.