All You Need Is Sleep...Sleep Is All You Need

So, I have the secret to balancing two kids...shhhhhhhh....let's keep it between you and me. It's sleep. And of course, what new mom gets any sleep? Not very many, I can tell you that much. But I do notice this: the nights that I get a good, consecutive number of hours sleep bring on days where dealing with a toddler and a newborn seem relatively easy (and when I say easy, what I really mean is tolerable). The nights where I get no sleep bring on days when I feel like tossing both kids in the composter (a friend of mine once pointed out that there is a picture of a baby on the green compost bins, therefore it must be okay to toss them in there at some point, no?)

Everyone always says "make sure you sleep when your newborn does"...but they forget that I have a toddler and I could win the lottery sooner than I would have a day when both kids are sleeping at the same time...so my husband and I came up with (read: I strong-armed him into agreeing to) a plan. Although not entirely romantic, we do night time split shifts. He does the 11pm to 3am shift and I do the 3am to 7am shift. This way we ensure that each of us gets x number of hours of uninterrupted sleep. Perfect right? Well almost perfect, because, as all of you breastfeeding moms know, your boobs don't always follow the sleeping schedule. My boobs are on a "fill up every two hour" schedule, which makes for an extremely uncomfortable and wet sleep on most evenings. If I sleep longer than 4 hours I end up looking and feeling, for the most part, like this:

So, even though my thoughtful husband allows me to sleep as much as I can to ensure his kids don't end up at the City of Toronto waste management site, my bags o'milk aren't as considerate. Thankfully I have many hands in the babysitting kitchen so I have some breaks during the day. So, all of you out there looking for advice on how to keep your sanity as a new mom. Sleep. Sleep as much as you can, whenever you can, wherever you can. I doesn't matter if you're on the toilet, it doesn't matter if you're breastfeeding, just DO IT. Trust me. Your children will thank you for it in the long run.

I wanted to quickly give a shout out to Ian, Adrienne and Charlotte. Congratulations on baby Kieran. We can't wait to meet him, and we're so happy that you had a quick and safe delivery!

The Heart-Broken Bad Mom Blues

In the five weeks since my daughter has been born, I've been extremely luckily to have an amazing support system that has pulled together to make sure that everyone in the family is being attended to the in the most appropriate fashion. My mom and my in-laws have really donated almost all of their free time to ensure that my two and a half year old is being occupied while I dedicate my time to the newest addition to the family. I mean, even though my newborn (can you still call them a newborn when they're over a month old?) has almost doubled her weight in her short time here on the planet ...

...she still needs me more than anyone else at this point (if only Daddy had boobs!). I thought that having constant playmates for my son would make the transition from only child to big brother a little bit easier for him, and it really did seem to be working. He didn't take much notice to the baby when we brought her home. He was more interested in all the fun toys he was getting when people came to visit, often asking people where his present was as soon as they walked in the door. I thought for sure that I would see the wrath once Daddy went back to work and he was left ALONE with Mommy and the attention-sucking vampire baby, but again, in my limited experience being alone with the two kids (only 4 days in 5 weeks) there really wasn't an issue...or so I thought.

Tonight after dinner my husband took the baby and I spent a little one on one time with my little guy. We played "I'm gonna get you" and then we played a simple game of throw and catch. Seems pretty harmless, right? My toddler caught his first ball tonight, which was an extremely exciting milestone, not only for my l'il guy, but also for my husband, who has pipe dreams of his one and only son playing for the Blue Jays. Again, a pretty big day for everyone, so where do these bad mom blues come in? CUE SOB STORY...

Each night we read a bedtime story and I tuck him in. I kiss him and say "I love you, good night" to which he normally responds "Love You, Night, Night". Pretty simple. Tonight, I got a different response. One that melted my heart initially, and then broke it after the words actually sunk in. He said "Mommy, thank you for playing catch with me". At first I didn't understand him, but when I finally got the words he was saying I got teary-eyed. The free time that I dedicated to him and him alone tonight was so impactful that he felt the need to thank me. Honestly...that's tragic. I've been so occupied making sure that everyone is getting attention, I've lost sight of the importance of spending some one on one time with him. I'm not sure why I thought that filling all of his free time with fun events with other people would be enough, but that truly isn't the case. Even a 15 minute game of catch with Mommy meant something to him. This just means that even though I have a baby attached at the boob for most of the day, I really, really, really need to make an effort to spend some quality time with my son ALONE. No baby in a chair, baby in a swing or baby on the monitor in the sidelines. The baby needs to be out of sight, out of earshot and out of his mind. Seems obvious. And the fact that it's taken me this long to realize it is what really makes me sad.

A Month Of Bliss, Eleven Months of Hell?

Good lord! It's been a while, and frankly, I think it's rather ironic that the first time I have the opportunity to write a new post is the first day that my husband goes back to work...I wonder what that means? Needless to say, I am alive. The joys of being a mother to two haven't swallowed me up and spit me out. At least, not yet!

So, most of the visitors I've had over the past four weeks are extremely curious to see a) how my recovery has been and b) how it's been with two kids. I'll start with a).

My recovery has been ...um...interesting to say the least. After my first c-section, the recovery time was pretty minimal. I was out of bed after the first day home, racing up and down the stairs, carrying heavy objects, pretty much tempting fate. This time...not so much. I had to actually fill my prescription for Oxycontin (don't tell Lindsay Lohan...she'll be knocking on my door tonight on her way outta jail). Granted, I only took two of them (again, LiLo doesn't need to know that I have a surplus, so keep it on the downlow, please), but I had to take them so I wasn't feeling great about that. When I wasn't doped up on Oxy, I was popping Advil and clock watching to see when I could take another. I was bed ridden for almost 2 weeks and up until this weekend, I wasn't able to walk around the block without feeling a terrible pull and tug in my midsection. So, you can imagine the distress I was feeling when I realized that my husband was off to work this week and I was having to tend to an overly active 2 1/2 year old and a newborn who is constantly feeding. Luckily my immediate family has stepped in with their time and allowed me to break myself into the role of mom o' two slowly. Hence, I have some free time as my newborn sleeps and my toddler is off to Nana's house.

I do, however, now realize how much one forgets about the grossness that is a recovering mother's post-natal body. Ugh! Starting with the disgrace and embarrassment of having your first pee accompanied by the unsympathetic and immodest nurse, squeezed into a 10sq ft bathroom, followed up by a constant flow of stool softeners (which I felt were unnecessary to take), only to end with the first post-natal poop (and realization that I should've taken those tootin' stool softeners!!!!!!!). GAWD! How could I have ever forgotten my initial experience???? Not to mention the inability to soak in a bath because of the gaping axe wound I had across my belly. It was shock after shock after shock.

So other than the fact that the recovery time of the c-section didn't go as planned, all is well in my household. The sleep issue is horrendous, but expected. The baby is feeding every two hours (and gaining weight like a fat kid threatened with a hunger strike). She is, however, giving Mom and Dad a little bit of a break on the sleep front, generally knocked out from 10pm - 3am without issue. It's the other one that's giving us a hard time. When we first came home, my eldest got a cold, so was up all hours of the night hacking away. Now, it's not the cold that's keeping him up, it's more that he's discovered the art of manipulation and that he's a mildly independent human being. "Mommy, I need water", "Mommy, I can't find my soucie" (yes, we haven't kicked the soother habit yet...), "Mommy, I'm not tired", "Mommy, can I sleep in your bed?"...From what I've heard from other mothers, this is ONLY THE BEGINNING....Luckily we have a safety gate in front of his room, so he's not able to escape the confines of his firetruck bedroom...that being said, it certainly doesn't sway him from screaming at the top of his lungs from the threshold.


As for bringing the new baby home and the issues that may follow, luckily I haven't encountered those ... YET... My son seemed ultra excited at the hospital as the entire family converged over my constantly filling catheter bag (oh the shame of labour) to meet the baby for the first time. He was all about holding her and checking her out. Nowadays I'm not sure he's even aware that she exists until she cries. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but I'll take the peace while I can, as I'm sure it's not going to last forever.


Since my husband has been home, and my family has been a super help, we haven't really had to deal too much with one parent vs. two kids...and between the two of us, it appears that my husband has had more practice juggling than I have. That being said, I did wake up ON MY OWN this morning and had to put the baby in the crib (screaming of course!) while I did the morning routine with my toddler. All in all, it wasn't as terrible as I had anticipated. Granted, I only had two hours of two kids on my own before my mother-in -law rescued me and whisked my two and a half year old outta the house. I can't believe how quiet it is, though, with only one child here. Especially one child that sleeps often and can't talk or run! I feel like I should've had a training kid, so that I could've enjoyed my first born as much as this, rather than being stressed out over every little thing that happened. Ah, the joys of motherhood and hindsight!


Tomorrow is another day of just the baby...but Friday...Friday is the true test. The day where I have both kids ALL DAY, without ANY HELP until my husband returns from work. You'll have to check back with me then to see how I actually survive...until then, let me relish in the quietness and calmness that is my home.

PS- For those of you who are interested...I still haven't really given the tummy binder a real go, as it's been irritating my c-section scar...but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to start up a "Tummy Tuck Fund" cuz the appearance of my hanging gut is a horror movie more scary than The Shining. Feel free to donate!

Ze Operation

So, this past week has been rather eventful, if I do say so myself. Because I've been away for a bit and not keeping up with my blog, I'll spend some time discussing the operation, the sibling introduction, the recovery, home, etc. in separate posts if that's okay. (Also doesn't help that I don't have a handful of minutes to spare most days!)

Today's post will be about the actual operation. So I survived the hunger strike and zero liquid diet..surprisingly. The c-section was scheduled for 11:45am...but of course, that didn't happen. Apparently there was one thing after another with regards to O.R. room availability. I felt like throwing out the Seinfeld quote, " see, you know how to TAKE the reservation, you just don't know how to HOLD the reservation, and that's really the most important PART of the reservation..." but I decided to keep my mouth shut as emergency c-sections were happening (and they obviously take precedence) as well as an electrical fire (thankfully that didn't happen during MY c-section...yikes).

So, after watching my husband eat a gigantic sandwich, 2 PAINFUL I.V. pokes, no water, but 500 pees wheeling an IV wagon around and 4 hours later, I made the death row walk down to the O.R. to get prepped. I was peculiarly not nervous, as I'd anticipated I'd be. The spinal wasn't painful and the O.R. team were very nice and super funny which helped to keep my mind of the task at hand. Finally my husband came into the room and they got started. I wasn't really sure what to expect as the last time I'd had a c-section I was completely unconscious, although from watching a billion "A Baby Story's" on TLC, I'd anticipated a lot of discomfort, pressure and pulling. That wasn't the case at all (thank you Ms. Anaesthesiologist!) and much to my surprise within minutes the baby was out and crying.

SO...what did I have????

I had a beautiful baby girl! I couldn't believe it! My husband was equally as shocked. I think the last month that I was pregnant we were both pretty sure that we had another little boy in the belly...but that just goes to show...sometimes, one really shouldn't trust their instincts (or maybe that's just me...I've been wrong 2 for 2 when it comes to guessing the sex of my babies!) So, for all of you out there who were rooting for a little girl...we finally got one! And, now that the baby is born, I can tell you that the whole time I was secretly wishing for one. I always thought it would be nice to have one of each...less competition for the siblings, etc. Now, I couldn't say that beforehand, obviously for fear that my new son would one day read this blog and feel I'd been disappointed with the end result...But no feelings needed to be spared! I have one boy and one girl. YAHOO!

Anyway, the whole planned c-section went off without a hitch and for the most part, I think it was the right option for me (more on that in later posts about my hospital stay and my recovery - still in process). I was so happy to experience the birth of my little girl while being awake, and being able to kiss her and cuddle her as soon as she was scooped out was absolute magic. Not to take away from the sound of her little cries when they were giving her a little scrub. It was like music to my ears. So, I really do feel like I'm extremely lucky. I have two healthy babies and what feels like the perfect family (said the woman who's only been a mom of two for ONE WEEK). I can't wait to see what the next weeks/months/years bring!

Tick...Tick...Tick...

So, it's finally here. I am officially 12 hours away from my child's birth day. Can you believe it? I can hardly believe it myself to tell you the truth. I feel like this pregnancy has lasted a decade and in one day it'll all be done. Wow! The past couple of days have been particularly hard for me. I've tried to relish every moment that I've had alone with my two and a half year old. Yesterday we did all of his favourite things (including pretending to be a fire man with the hose in the backyard, taking a turn on ALL the ride-ons at Dixie Value Mall, having a soft-serve ice cream cone, eating Bunny Pasta for lunch and watching the whole "Cars" movie). I tried to make my last full day with him alone as special as possible, although I'm pretty sure he didn't see the importance of it. As I was reading him a story before bed last night I started to feel an enormous twinge of guilt. Although my husband and I have spent the last month "preparing" him for the newest edition to the family, he truly has NO CLUE what's in store. And for this I feel bad. I know there's nothing more we could've done. He's just at an age where he doesn't totally get what we're telling him, and until he experiences it, he won't. DONE AND DONE. But it doesn't change the fact that I feel terrible just "springing" this on him.

Tonight, as I was putting him to bed I realized that this would be the last time I would do this as a family of three. AND I CRIED AND CRIED AND CRIED AND CRIED. This should really be a happy occasion for the family, and in the grand scheme of things, it is. I know. But I couldn't help but get caught up in the moment, feeling like my son may hate me when the next time I put him to bed, it will be with another human being in tow. Okay, it's time to stop whining about it.

Tomorrow is a BIG DAY! I will finally get to meet The Bean!!!!! I'm so excited! And of course, a little bit nervous. I mean, it is major surgery I'm having...but I'm thinking as positively about it as I possibly can. It's all a means to an end, right? So, I've just finished my "last supper" (for those of you who know me, you won't be surprised that it was Kraft Dinner), because I'm not allowed to eat beyond midnight tonight. I also had to call the Labour and Delivery Triage unit this afternoon to confirm the "no drinking" beyond 3am policy they have. I didn't think it was that big a deal. I don't drink pop or juice or coffee...so it wasn't all that big a sacrifice. BUT...what I didn't realize was that the rule also included WATER!!!!!!!!!! Yes, it's true. Not a drop of water after 3am. Yes, it's a freakin' heat wave. Yes, my surgery isn't until 11:45am tomorrow...YES, THAT'S A LONG TIME WITHOUT AQUA!!!!! So, I'm drinking as much as I possibly can for the next 4 hours in hopes that my body retains it (hello pregnant bladder....?). I'm also crossing my fingers that I will actually get some sleep tonight, although I'm feeling like this is going to be highly unlikely...nerves and all.



I did, however, want to let everyone know that we appreciate all the well wishes that we've received over the past few days. The next time you hear from me I will have officially gone from one to two...I hope I can cope!

Hating Gisele

So, we all know how much I despise that rottenly beautiful Brazilian Gisele Bundchen, right? Well, if YOU didn't hate her before...you will now. This post is short and sweet, but I'm telling you, mothers of the world...brace yourself...cuz not only is she tall, thin, beautiful, rich, married to a hot millionaire with an amazing body and has a gorgeous child to boot, but she's also the perfect mother. All I have to say is:























Please read the below link and judge for yourself...



http://www.celebitchy.com/107008/gisele_claims_her_not-even_7-month-old_baby_is_already_potty_trained/

Try not to feel inadequate and enjoy your Sunday!

A Weekend Of Living In Relaxed Mode

So far so good. Sure, it's only Saturday, but technically the "weekend" is half-over, so I'm doing pretty well considering! I'm hoping that my long weekend of pampering will continue until tomorrow night, but if indeed it doesn't, I'm still feeling reposed.

On Thursday I dropped my son off at the in-laws for a sleepover, and then made the jaunt to my friend's house where she proceeded to make me a delicious breakfast of pancakes and fresh fruit.

Then I puttered around the house until my husband came home from work. Date night followed with a fantastic dinner out at a local Italian restaurant only to be topped off by a LONG and RESTFULLY UNINTERRUPTED night's sleep where I woke up at 8:30am the next morning (Can you even imagine? For those of you without children, a mom waking up at 8:30am is the equivalent of a single person waking up at 1:30pm - It's a dream!).

AND THAT WAS ONLY THURSDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On Friday, we SLOWLY made our way back up to the in-laws, where again, I was made breakfast. Then I made an appointment to have my eyebrows threaded (I was starting to look like a hairy caterpillar). Having one's eyebrows pulled out by a piece of tooth floss isn't high on most people's lists when it comes to the most relaxing things. I get it. Especially when the salon sits you in a chair in front of a HUGE window where the entire city of North York can see you in your hairy glory...but needless to say, it was as relaxing as the situation could be. Plus, then I was able to come back to the in-laws for a dive in the pool. At this point the pool is my sanctuary. When you're a 175 pound whale it is not often that you get to feel almost weightless.

Then my husband made me lunch and we sat out in the sun while our little one napped, and then the in-laws kept an eye on the wee guy until it was essentially time to put him to bed. When we got back home I filled my tub with some Mediterranean sea salts (a wonderfully thoughtful gift from MJ) and soaked, ate dark chocolate (another gift from MJ) and read until it was time to crawl into bed myself!

I couldn't really ask for a more easygoing two days. And again, it's only SATURDAY. Today we have a pool party scheduled (where I'm anticipating (aka demanding) my husband will be in full charge of the child, as I'm a little bit too obese to be chasing my agile 2 1/2 year old around a huge water-filled death trap)...which means I will be spending the day relaxing poolside and being fed someone else's food in which they've slaved over. Tough life. I guess I'm going to have to milk this for as long as possible, because I have a feeling it's going to be short lived. My house still has to be cleaned, the laundry still has to be washed and dried, the groceries still have to be bought and put away and this all looms ahead for my Sunday. Yet, I still have a full 24 hours to enjoy the day and I will make the most of it, mark my words!

I hope you all are having an equally relaxing Canada Day long weekend filled with fun, friends and family!