Bah-Humbug!

The hormonal changes that happen in a pregnant woman's body are ridiculous. We can go from crying to happy to more angry than you could ever imagine...and all these emotions happen within seconds of each other. My husband has been a champ dealing with my Jekyll and Hyde behaviour, but other people aren't always so understanding. I found that my biggest challenge during pregnancy #1 was with the elderly in the grocery store. It usually involved a showdown of who was more deserving at the front of the line. As some of you may remember, I once almost took down a 70 year old woman for budding in front of me in the grocery store while I was buying Chewy Chips Ahoy. And when I say "almost took down", I mean it. There was a screaming match at the checkout and I asked her for her I.D. because I said she was using her age to take advantage of a hungry pregnant woman. Sure, I had SERIOUS issues...but you should know, you don't mess with a hungry pregnant lady! Needless to say, I won that battle, and I plan on winning any future ones.

My biggest peeve when NOT pregnant is the "Expecting Mothers" parking spots at places like Walmart and Loblaws. The sign shows a picture of a pregnant woman pushing a stroller. So, does this mean, that a woman with a stroller who is NOT pregnant is allowed to park here? Because honestly, what expectant mother pushes a stroller before her baby arrives? I might call Children's Aid on a woman who was expecting and pushing an empty pram.

When I'm not pregnant, however, I justify parking in that particular spot , because it's harder to lug a 30 pound stroller and a 30 pound toddler around than it is just lugging the 27 pound beach ball attached to my belly. Obviously, right?

But now that I am expecting #2, my anger is focused on ANYONE who isn't obviously pregnant and takes my parking spot. It's obviously reserved for me, and only me, cuz I'm the only expectant mother in the world who has a FULL stroller to push along with my big, round, discernibly pregnant abdomen. The picture is a spitting image of me, right? Look for yourself! So, there I am, belly checking every woman in the parking lot making sure they also fit the sign's profile (I'm allowed, right?). I get some weird looks to say the least! BUT boy does my blood boil when a dude in a mini-van pulls in and takes his two year old out of the vehicle. He's obviously not expecting. He's OBVIOUSLY not a MOTHER!!! Where does he get off????

And DON'T GET ME STARTED on the elderly (the anger always comes full circle!) mistaking the "expectant mothers" parking spot for the "handicap parking" spot (these spots are conveniently located immediately beside each other at my favourite shopping locations). When I have to park miles away from the store and I see a big, brown Cadillac with a handicap sign displayed in the windshield and NO CAR SEAT in the back, I have to hold myself back from kicking the headlights in. Is that bad?

My goal in this post is to plead with the parking lots of Canada to have standardized signs for:

Expectant Moms

Families with Kids

AND

Handicap Parking

Each sign is the same in EVERY location. NO sign is open to interpretation. And every sign is monitored by a angry, belly checking lady/watchdog. I'm available and fully qualified, you know...plus, I am in desperate need of an outlet for my anger.