Boys Against Girls

Have you heard of the phrase "Million Dollar Family". I wasn't 100% of the meaning, so I, of course, wiki'd it (did I just use that as a verb????) and this is what I came up with: "...derives from the similar terms "rich man's family" or "choix du roi" One son--to inherit and rule the estate...no brothers are needed to work the fields or run the business (because you're rich) so best deal is not to have second and third sons who will not receive a birthright and will skulk around, envious, making trouble. One daughter--to marry a powerful ally's son and spread your power and influence."

There isn't a day that goes by that people don't ask me: "Do you know what you're having?" and when I say "No", they ask "Don't you want a girl?" because I have a little boy at home. The answer is always the same. "I don't care what I have." And that's the truth.

My choice to keep the sex of baby #2 unknown stems from the labour and subsequent emergency delivery of baby #1. When I was pregnant the first time, I envisioned that my labour would be painful, of course, but I'd get through it without drugs, and then once the little one was born they'd pass to the baby to me, announce the sex and my husband and I would be surprised and elated.

The reality was this...I tried to be a martyr for 12 hours and then finally begged for the epidural, and after half an hour of pushing and two emergency visits from every physician in the hospital because the baby's heart rate dropped, my obstetrician decided to do a c-section. As I was waiting for the anesthesiologist to prep me, the baby's heart rate dropped again, and they immediately started cutting me open (epidural completely worn off by this point, hence the anesthesiologist prepping me)...when I brought my pain to their attention, they knocked me out. When I woke up (after vomiting on the nurse, my mother and my bra strap), they handed me the baby, and my husband told me (repeatedly - like 45 times - and each time I was as surprised as the first time!) "It's a boy". Not exactly what fairy tales are made from.

This time, I've opted to have a planned c-section (to avoid repeating the story above), so that I can ensure that it's slightly closer to my "dream delivery" (if there was such a thing). I'd love to be at least moderately lucid when the baby comes out and I'd like to be surprised (only once) when the doctor tells me what the sex is.

I have NO inkling as to what the sex of this baby might be. Science, statistics and the Chinese Lunar Calendar point to girl, fetal heart rate points to boy (for someone who doesn't want to know the sex of their baby I sure have done a lot of research...?) and everyone and their mother has an opinion on how I'm carrying. Still, I truly don't have a preference, although it does weigh on my mind.

My practical side thinks that if I have another boy, it will be smooth sailing. My husband and I already have experience with boys. They might be rough with each other but aren't they more likely to share similar interests as they get older and more likely to have a stronger bond as they mature? (My husband comes from a family of two boys and he and his brother are like two peas in a pod). AND, I have about 3,000 plastic containers FILLED to the brim with boys clothes. My fear with two boys is that the younger one will always feel like he's being compared to the older, which isn't fair, but maybe not completely avoidable? Two active boys under 3? YIKES!

On the other hand, if we have a girl my husband and I will be thrown into a world of inexperience. Sure, people tell me that girls are much more laid back as children, but lord help us once she hits her teens! (I know my mom is secretly hoping I have a girl just to experience a millionth of the exhaustion I caused her from the age of 13-21!), plus, then I have to buy new toys and new clothes! Cha-ching! Also, because of the different sexes, will the two kids have much in common? Will my son bully my daughter?

In the long run, does it really matter? Will I love a boy more or less than a girl? Never. There are no guarantees in life - whether same sex or not, these siblings could love or hate each other, have everything in common or nothing, be close or distant, feel inferior or superior. I'll just be happy to have healthy, well-adjusted (as well-adjusted as my offspring could possibly be) kids whether my family is worth a million dollars or not.